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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

When they drive themselves to university

41 replies

EeesandWhizz · 29/08/2023 15:45

Do you go too? Or do you just wave them off down the drive (and then crumple)?

DS has his own small car and won't be taking more stuff than will fit in it, so I'm kind of assuming that I should just leave him to it and wave him off. I've got to admit that I was surprised when I drove myself off to college 35 years ago and found a queue of parents with their children waiting to enrol. I had a very rural upbringing and it didn't occur to me that not everyone would take their own car, though to be fair it was very agricultural and most did.

Should I go to help him unpack and get settled in/buy stuff he didn't know that he needed, or pop down in a few weeks if he doesn't come home first. It's almost 4 hours away if that makes any difference.

OP posts:
KnickerlessParsons · 29/08/2023 15:59

What would he like you to do?

CheersToMe · 29/08/2023 16:02

Does he definitely have somewhere to park whilst at uni?

Leave him to it and ask if he'd like you to visit at some point?

wishingitwasfriday · 29/08/2023 16:02

Will there be parking for his car? Lots of unis actively discourage students taking their cars as parking is hard to come by. If there is parking then I would just wave him off and ask him to message when he gets there (he'll probably forget and you'll have to chase him!)

allthehops · 29/08/2023 16:03

None of mine had a halls of residence with parking available so wasn't a thing until year 3 when they had a house with a drive.

Legacy · 29/08/2023 16:07

Does he have enough experience of motorway/ long drives? If so, and he has parking and can afford it, then I guess you wave him off!

Forty years again I went to uni 300 miles from home. My Dad learnt to drive late in life and was always a nervous driver. He and I shared the drive down to my uni and on the way back I think he stayed overnight halfway! At the end of the first year he bought me an old banger so he wouldn't have to do it ever again!

JuneBeWonderful · 29/08/2023 16:08

Which uni has parking? When we turned up for Ds they made us unpack the car outside the halls of residence onto the bench and floor then move the car immediately whilst Freps helped haul his stuff up to his room. I stayed with his stuff, Dh moved the car and D's went off to register and get his key!

purplecorkheart · 29/08/2023 16:13

Has he researched the parking situation. Most of the Halls of Residences around here has limited (they draw names for spots) or no parking.

A lot would depend on firstly what he wants. Also can he actually park near where he is going to live or would it be easier for you to have the heavy bits in your car and you can just pull up outside and he unloads and you move the car. Not ideal if he has to carry things from streets away.

Comefromaway · 29/08/2023 16:15

Parents definitely cannot attend enrolment (which usually happens several days after they move in). But very few university accommodation has parking. Ds's friend is planning on taking his car for work related reasons but he will have to source and pay for parking in the nearby area.

Doingmybest12 · 29/08/2023 16:16

Did you visit the uni with him and have you seen the accommodation. I dont think I'm a suffocating parent but I'd want to visit soon to just see where he is and get to grips with where he is living. But I guess it's up to him really.

stilldumdedumming · 29/08/2023 16:16

To answer your question. Both mine have gone off on their own. Dd with her bf and ds is taking the train and wants to do it alone.
With dd I visited about two weeks later and we went shopping. I'll do the same with ds. That's what he wants he says.

StampOnTheGround · 29/08/2023 16:18

When I went to uni, everyone had parents there to drop off and nobody really took their own car first year.

mumonthehill · 29/08/2023 16:19

We went in convoy!! He wanted us to go which was lovely. He had sorted parking at his halls so had a space for the year.

WhatHaveIFound · 29/08/2023 16:22

Is he in halls and does he actually have parking for his first year?

DD couldn't have her car in the first year (living on campus) but has managed to rent places with parking permits since. This year like last she'll pack up her car and drive herself.

ErrolTheDragon · 29/08/2023 16:25

Do whatever suits him and you.

When I went to uni, one of my older brothers took me in the other brothers car.

When DD went off to uni, DH took her, I stayed at home with the dog.

NewIdeasToday · 29/08/2023 17:45

Apart from the isssue about whether to accompany your son, has he checked that he can take a car with him as many universities really discourage this due to lack of parking for students?

grayhairdontcare · 29/08/2023 18:58

Dd took her car. We followed in ours.
She had parking

Poblano · 29/08/2023 19:20

My DS took his car to university. I followed in my car as he wanted me to help, but if he'd wanted to do it alone I'd have let him.

His halls had parking, he just had to pay annually for a permit to get a spot.

IsThisNameTaken · 29/08/2023 19:34

DD was in halls for first year, with parking (had to apply for and pay for a permit). I went with her in the car, helped unpack and got the train home.

Xenia · 29/08/2023 22:02

None of mine took a car in term 1 as the Halls discouraged it so I drove them. However some of them did have a car in later terms and at that point I stopped going to and fro but tended to make one visit a year or twice a year

Original poster
EeesandWhizz · 29/08/2023 22:20

Loads of free parking on site for halls, he's already registered his car. He's not done much motorway driving as the nearest one is over an hour away, however he is used to driving for 10+ hours/day though. He's not sure what he wants us to do, that's why I've asked here (but obviously not told him!).

OP posts:
RoyKentFanclub · 29/08/2023 22:22

It’s unusual nowadays for kids to arrive without anyone.

geoger · 29/08/2023 22:33

I’d go with him or follow in my own car. It’ll be good for you to see where he’s going to be living, carry boxes and to help unpack a few bits (he might also need to go to the supermarket etc). Most students have someone to help them move in

RampantIvy · 29/08/2023 23:15

Loads of free parking on site for halls,

That's pretty unusual. Which university is this?

Morewineplease10 · 29/08/2023 23:18

I don't understand why you wouldn't just ask your son what he'd like?

I'd want to go personally unless DC very against it!

mondaytosunday · 29/08/2023 23:19

I'd do as @geoger says. I know my kids might put a brave face on it but would be very happy for me to follow- and as many parents will be helping their kids settle in it's not like an embarrassment or anything to have your parents there.