How did your DC’s uni relationships start - v under-confident son

[LizzySH]

My 19 y.o. DS is at Uni in his first year - doing well, a good number of friends, throwing himself into societies. So far, so very good. He is a handsome and personable young man but he has never had a girlfriend - he had a huge crush on a girl in his sixth form and eventually (after many months) plucked up the courage to ask her out and she said no. He was devastated and I think is scared to ask anyone out now! I don’t want to pressurise him into a relationship - of course not - but all his friends are steadily pairing up with people and it seems a shame that he is reluctant to because of his rejection last year. Any advice welcome

Using Tinder or the like guarantees that the swipees are also looking for the same thing - in person not so much. In todays climate kids are terrified of making a move that will not be welcome - they are so hot on consent and boundaries etc!

Both my kids in early twenties and exclusively use online dating but neither have anything approaching a long term committed relationship. But they are both happy in great friendship groups, good jobs etc. There’s plenty of time…..

I don’t discuss it at all. He occasionally tells me stuff when he’s home for a weekend. I’m an academic (different university), so it’s not like I’m totally unfamiliar with the sex lives of undergraduates.

My DD is 20, fairly confident, and just finished second year of uni. Never dated anyone that she's told us about, and doesn't really seem interested. She enjoys socialising with a wide group of people, and dating can get in the way of that.