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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Freshers starting at Oxford or Cambridge (finally?)

29 replies

littlesquid · 04/10/2013 17:36

Taking DD to Oxford on Sunday, She is bouncing off the walls but I think nervous as well. All her friends went off to uni so long ago it feels like they must have graduated by now, she's been a lonely little thing the last couple of weeks.

She's found and friended people from her course and college on facebook, which is nice.

I hope she fits in, we aren't an Oxbridge kind of family... and that the workload isn't too much.

Anyone else heading off this weekend?

OP posts:
Clobbered · 04/10/2013 17:39

My big boy heading back to Cambridge for his third year. Seems like only yesterday he was a fresher. The terms are short but very intense - they pack in an incredible amount of work. Friends of his at Oxford have found the workload pretty hefty, but they all seem to pull through. Your DD wouldn't have been picked if they didn't think she was up to it.
Embrace the space once she's gone!!

LondonMother · 05/10/2013 07:50

That was us this time last year, Littlesquid! I hope she has a fantastic time. Our son loves Oxford and made lots of friends in his first year. He did work very hard, and seemed to enjoy that, fortunately. He also found time for a lot of other stuff, which is good.

We missed him but took great comfort from the fact that he was so happy in the place he'd worked so hard to get to. And as Clobbered says, the terms are very short! Your daughter will be back almost before you've got used to her being away.

Good luck to all of you!

roisin · 05/10/2013 08:15

Good look tackling Oxford traffic and parking this weekend! LOL. What college/ subject is she at?

I'm sure she'll have a great time.

Original poster
littlesquid · 09/10/2013 17:02

Been offline between broadband providers...

DD dropped off on Sunday, parking was crazy, but so many helpers who were wonderful. All very, very exciting, so much laid on for freshers to do. It's an old college for a humanities subject.

DD has been busy non stop,organised pub trips, clubnights, dinners, sport, films, tours of Oxford, meetings, loads and loads of free food, they are so looked after it's lovely. tonight, apparently, she is apparently 'having prelash in someone's room after dinner then we are all going out'. So sounds OK.

Might be a bit different next week when work starts. :)

OP posts:
BlackMogul · 09/10/2013 23:41

Is this a special boasting parent thread or can any proud parent join in! ??? Stop it. You are just like everyone else.......

JGBMum · 10/10/2013 08:58

Grin at black mogul.

I did wonder why the op felt it necessary to start a new thread when there are lots of us on the empty nest thread discussing DC starting uni and their experience of Freshers.

mummytime · 10/10/2013 09:07

Just be prepared for her to come back totally exhuasted at the end of term (although she might even stay up to get some work done). The terms are short but very intense.

Most of your prejudices about Oxbridge will be inaccurate. There are very few "Bullingdon" types, in 3 + years as a graduate I don't think I ever met one. I did meet over-confident private school types, who can be very forceful with their opinions, even if it is bullsh**.

I hope your DD has a great time.

LauraChant · 10/10/2013 09:10

Because Oxbridge terms start so much later I imagine. (in answer to why start a separate thread).

I don't know, I'm not the OP. But no need to be mean.

BeckAndCall · 10/10/2013 09:13

I was just going to say the same thing laura - give the OP a break. Her DD will probably have been watching friends go off to uni for the last 3 weeks and feeling like everyone's gone and when is it her turn?

So I imagine that is exactly what the OP is talking about - the anxiety and expectation in the house that lasts up to three weeks longer than a lot of other families!

JGBMum · 10/10/2013 09:19

Well mine only went a week ago, should I have started a new thread because friends started 2 weeks earlier, so we had 2 weeks more stress? Hmm

The point is, as parents, we have a lot of experiences in common when our children leave home, whether they're going to South Bank or Imperial, or anywhere in between.

LauraChant · 10/10/2013 09:27

You could have done if you wanted to!

mirry2 · 10/10/2013 09:29

What is an 'Oxbridge family'?

goinggetstough · 10/10/2013 09:31

Mirry I wondered about that too!

wordfactory · 10/10/2013 09:40

JGB as someone who works at Oxbridge and somewhere else too, I would say that Oxbridge is very different. The experience for the parents will be different too.

Terms are so short. And few colleges allow holiday stays. So DC are coming and going home like a fiddler's elbow.

Also, there's no getting away from the fact that it is mightily intense. Freshers may be seriously shocked. And boy will they be knackered!

wordfactory · 10/10/2013 09:42

I'd also add that whilst I think the collegiate system is excellent, the short terms and intensity of work load doesn't actually suit some people.

Agian, this can be hard for students and families alike. Finally getting to Oxbridge seems like the pinacle, but it's not always the way.

LondonMother · 10/10/2013 15:35

OP presumably meant no one in the family has ever studied or worked at Oxford or Cambridge until now. It can be a bit intimidating socially to enter that world, especially if the student's/parents' previous establishments were more like Grange Hill than Hogwarts.

As for why OP didn't join in the other thread, it wouldn't occur to me to make my first post on a topic on a thread with hundreds of posts and a small tight band of regular posters. Give her a break!

GrendelsMum · 10/10/2013 17:18

I was welcoming a group of first year students to the Faculty today - lovely to see all the enthusiastic faces and their excitement about the upcoming courses. Our bunch seem to be settling down okay - there was a 'welcome curry' last night which hopefully will get them off to a good start.

JGBMum · 10/10/2013 17:52

Well I guess that if op had joined the other thread, or the ideas on what to take to uni thread, she would have had a chance to chat with other freshers parents, including those with DC starting at Oxbridge.

LondonMother · 10/10/2013 21:07

Whereas by doing as she did, she heard from a couple of people who'd been through this and come out the other side. We're all free to post what we want here, within the rules. Cannot see any point whatever in trying to dictate to others how they should post.

Fairdene · 10/10/2013 22:48

Discussing Oxbridge stuff doesn't equal boastiness, necessarily. Agree that people should feel free to post however they want, without feeling constrained about accusations of showiness. That's very small minded.

BeckAndCall · 11/10/2013 07:06

Well I doubt if the OP will ever come back - I wouldn't if I were newish and had had the reaction above. Sorry we won't see you again OP but its not all like that on here - there are plenty of parents with children at Oxbridge colleges who have specific things to say and ask and it's generally very helpful to share similar experiences.

There are also lots and lots of mumsnetters who went to Oxbridge who talk about it - not something that has to be hushed up, generally, for fear of being boastful.

Not all of us want to join someone else's thread - it's easy to get ignored there.

What next, we delete the Cambridge SAQ thread because someone might get offended? Noone asks which boarding school people recommend?

I find it really disappointing this thread went this way

Sparklingbrook · 11/10/2013 07:29

I clicked on the thread out of curiosity as i have a friend who's friend has a son starting at Oxford.

What weird reactions. Confused Obvious why a new thread was started IMO.

Hope your DD is getting on okay squid.

Graceandvirtue · 11/10/2013 09:09

Some very unpleasant responses on this thread, takes me back to the playground. I have 2 DC at non-Oxbridge universities and fully understand why the thread was started.

Best of luck to your DD squid.

secretscwirrels · 11/10/2013 15:47

I have been reluctant to mention on MN (or IRL actually) that DS is applying to Cambridge. He is not from a wealthy MC background (I have no degree) and he went to a pretty bog standard school. He knows it's a lottery. However good his grades he is competing against the rich and privileged who have been groomed and prepared for Oxbridge.
The comments on the thread are exactly what I feared.

Well done to littlesquid's littlesquid. I hope he's settling in OK.

Sparklingbrook · 11/10/2013 15:49

Good for him secret, you should not have to fear any comments from anyone.