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Original poster

Are early abortions any more justifiable than later ones?

59 replies

Gangle · 19/07/2009 15:42

I know this is a really emotive subject and don't want to be massively criticised for opening a heated debate but just wondered what others thought on very very early abortions, i.e. less than 5/6 weeks. I have just found out I am pregnant and contemplating whether or not I can go through with an abortion. I know I just couldn't do it after about 8/9 weeks as it starts to look like a baby then, and certainly not at 12 weeks when it's fully formed. Does having it earlier make any difference? I think I am 2 weeks max and if I did want to go ahead would want to have it asap (via the abortion pill as I understand that surgical abortions aren't available until 8 weeks). Just trying to get it clear in my head.

OP posts:
posieparkerinChina · 19/07/2009 15:45

I guess it depends why....
This topic is going to be polarised, I'm guessing. Personally it wouldn't make a difference to me, not decision wise anyway, but it would be easier to think I was getting rid of a cluster of cells than something that resembles a baby. The sooner you can decide the less hormones to deal with and the less invasive the procedure.
Good Luck

diedandgonetodevon · 19/07/2009 15:50

I think it's a difficult decision either way and depends on the reasons you can't continue with the pregnancy.

(Just to let you know, you are considered 4 weeks pregnant by the time you get a positive test as it is dated from your last missed period)b

HolyScrotum · 19/07/2009 15:50

The earlier the decision is made and termination is done the better I think.
Any longer and its just more time to fret and feel guilty, hormonal issues etc.
If you're sure of the decision just do it asap, you'll feel much better and no point agonising for longer than necessary.

Original poster
Gangle · 19/07/2009 15:50

Posie, do you even know if you can take the abortion pill so early?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 19/07/2009 15:52

I agree with posieparker
Getting rid of cells that can't feel anything, at a point where the solution is a pill rather than anything more...I would find it easier. Agree though that the decision of do I want the baby would still be the same.

HolyScrotum · 19/07/2009 15:53

Yes, so if you are two weeks late on a four week cycle then you're actually 6 weeks.

StealthPolarBear · 19/07/2009 15:53

Gangle, yes I am almost certain you can! Sooner the better IMO AS LONG AS you take all the time to think it through you need

Original poster
Gangle · 19/07/2009 15:53

Just don't know how far along I am as haven't had period in about 2 years due to [-pregnancy and breastfeeding. Presumably I would have to have a dating scan to check. I am guessing I conceived about 10/14 days ago as did a test about 4 days ago and a few days before that and both negative.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gangle · 19/07/2009 15:55

It's is a fact isn't it that those cells can't feel anything? Leaving aside, of course, the whole ethical debate about whether it's the right thing to do.

OP posts:
HolyScrotum · 19/07/2009 15:57

Worth bearing in mnd that the process can take a while from when you approach Dr FPC.
It's not as quick a process as it should be.

LuluMaman · 19/07/2009 15:57

i think that what we think matters not a jot. i read your other threads and i think you need to do what is right in your heart

i also think that the only person a woman needs to justify a termination to is herself ultimately.

i thikn from a practical point of view the earlier the better

the vast majority of terminations are before 12 weeks

you are 4 weeks pregnant, but only 2 weeks post conception. the two weeks before your conception are also counted

HolyScrotum · 19/07/2009 15:57

Dr or FPC

StealthPolarBear · 19/07/2009 15:57

oh sorry......I'm fairly sure that's true but shouldn't have thrown something else in!
If you already have a family why do you feel so strongly you couldn't cope with this one? Not judging just wondering your reasons

LuluMaman · 19/07/2009 15:58

i think before 12 weeks the pathways and nerves for pain to be felt are not yet formed and working.

Original poster
Gangle · 19/07/2009 16:00

I just don't know LuluMaman and could agonise over it for weeks. Just don't know how to go about making a decision as I have so many different and conflicting emotions. I want the baby but just can't face the reality of having it, if you get me.

OP posts:
lou031205 · 19/07/2009 16:01

Gangle, this thread will be polarised. I have to say that in my honest opinion, the answer to your question is "No.".

However, I hope that whatever your decision, you have people around you to care for you in the next few weeks/months.

Wilts · 19/07/2009 16:04

Gangle- I strongly recommend BPAS, they will offer unbiased counselling to go through your options.

sarah293 · 19/07/2009 16:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HolyScrotum · 19/07/2009 16:09

For me - may not feel pertinent to you - when struggling with this decision it really helped me to think which choice would be worse to regret?
Personally I felt that I would rather live with the regret of a termination (it would be my pain to deal with myself) than to regret a child and the possible repercussions from that.

FattipuffsandThinnifers · 19/07/2009 16:09

If you are sure about having a termination, it is definitely best to do it as early as possible. The longer the duration of the pregnancy, the more traumatic it will be physically, and probably emotionally too.

Poor you having to make this decision - whatever happens, I hope it all works out for you.

LuluMaman · 19/07/2009 16:10

you don't have weeks though, do you?

i think i said on your other thread, as wilts has said here, to get indpendednt counselling urgently

there is no easy answer and i don;t think that anyone other than you or a counsellor should be swaying what you decide

lou031205 · 19/07/2009 16:12

"Personally I felt that I would rather live with the regret of a termination (it would be my pain to deal with myself)"

I think that depends on whether you view the pregnancy as a life, or not. You are talking about terminating a life, IMO.

Original poster
Gangle · 19/07/2009 16:15

Thanks, will try to call tomorrow though not sure they will be able to help. HolyScrotum, I don't think I would ever regret having the child, it's just that I am effectively a single parent (married but relationship in meltdown and DH unable to help in any meaningful way due to work committments) and barely cope with one and just so worried that if I make a decision to keep the baby then the next 9 months will be horrendous as I will still doubt whether or not I made the right decision. When he/she is born, I would of course adore the child but just don't see how I could cope alone with two. I could if I absolutely had to but if there is way out, now, then I want to consider it. I know many people will not see this as a valid reason for an abortion; not even sure it is myself yet.

OP posts:
HolyScrotum · 19/07/2009 16:16

I appreciate your viewpoint but with all due respect you have no idea and this isn't, IMO, the thread for a general debate.
I've mentioned my experience in relation to the OP. Not to have my choices critiqued.

HolyScrotum · 19/07/2009 16:17

Sorry, that was to Lou...

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