I am constipated and I know about prunes, apricots, lactulose etc but the question is: how do I get the hard poo out of my bottom?

[SoreArse]

It is not moving and of course I have hemoroids too so all the straining is getting painful.
Thank God for the namechange facility.

a spoon?

Manual evacuation? (Seriously)

Do sqat like movements before getting on the loo.

If this is a pistake I will be

glycerine suppositories

sorry poo problems not really funny

can you get a suppository or something?
vaseline might help ease it out?

A suppository?? Ds1 has had to do this once or twicw when very constipated.

this isnt helpful but there is only one way that poo is coming out

get thee to toilet with a book and just get rid of it. sending you good pooing vibes now

or microlax suppositories.

sorry microlax enema

don't strain.

Hand reflexology

Hold your right hand in your left hand press between the second knuckle & the third knuckle with little pressures moving down along the bone

Then do the same on your other hand

Try to do it 3 or 4 times a day

It's NOT a pisstake
I am in pain here and taking it quite seriously!
How on earth does on do manual evacuation?
I think I will have to wait until I can get to a pharmacist and get some glycerin suppositories tomorrow (ouch).

Glycerin Suppositories*... I have only been constipated once and didn't appreciate the discomfort of it.. after a week of not leaving the house and trying all non invasive remedies I used one of these.. the relief was overwelming, you go within 5 minutes....
you can buy them from the chemist.. they are wonderful and had no other side effect....

Are you drinking plenty of fluids, ie water? I also find red grape juice, hot water (something to do with it being hot helps), and salad all help too.

Try something like glycerine suppositories first. Apparently raising your feet off the floor might help a little (so you are squatting a bit more) - try resting your feet on a child's step while on the loo.

Ask pharmacist for advice tomorrow - go to one with a consulting room so you don't have to shout about it across the counter.

Manual evacuation is using your own fingers to get it out, but you have to be very careful and I really wouldn't recommend it if you have piles. I would wait until tomorrow and go to the pharmacy.

omg go and get some prunes
they are the DB o shit shovelling.

Thanks rummum
that's just what I want, near instant relief!

Drink a lot of water - that might make things easier. There's nothing funny about constipation is there? I had it after dd3 was born and it was a nightmare! Exercise might help too?

No my diet has been crap lately
Something about Christmas and no doubt to do with getting older
Too much alcohol not enough sprouts or something

lol.. I can only imagine that anyone suggesting go to the toilet with a book has never ever been constipated!

Sex helps but it is better not to le the constipation get so bad it hurts before you try that

senna tablets?

Thank you all I am going to namechange back now

God yes I used those once.
I KNEW about it.