I am constipated and I know about prunes, apricots, lactulose etc but the question is: how do I get the hard poo out of my bottom?

[SoreArse]

It is not moving and of course I have hemoroids too so all the straining is getting painful.
Thank God for the namechange facility.

Double espresso and a Gauloise, or an unfiltered Camel.

might hurt though if you have piles

it may help ease the pain if you try and do it in the bath.
I had to once when I was about16 and horribly constipated. later on in life this memory convinced me to go for a water birth...
hope you get sorted soon.

oxypowder.. natural colonic, google it!

Sex helps??!!!

Which hole?

Lol i thought taht too but couldn't bring myself to ask!!!

I am assuming it's the "right" hole tho as it's KM.

lol.. I can only imagine that anyone suggesting SEX has never ever been constipated either!

oo sorry, thought it was just a hard poo problem!

constipation not helped by a book senna better, OR lots of milk of magnesia. found that out by accident but by god its like dynamite!

You lot are rotten - I have IBS & regularly get constipated often for days at a time. As long as I read the warning signs early enough I find that lots of exercise will get things moving......I don't like running around in the rain - so it's a viable alternative

I did warn SA that she might be too late to try this

I wouls namechangne for this but really cant be arsed.

I am going to watch this thread, when i had ds1 i was torn badly inside and out and they sewed my to tightly so now even a normal poo is a struggle to get out. I have constant bad fissures to.

I think im going to start living on prunes and grapes.

Glycerine suppositories
Eating cooked green vegetables

Also, pharmacy can give you some gentle laxative to get things moving.

Grapefruit juice.

How are you doing?

Another vote for glycerine suppositories

They soften the poo from the end up as opposed to from the top down. Hard, compacted poo is vile to pass. Summat like 98p for 12 from your local pharmacy, try one then if no movement try another. Stay at home because the results can be erm fast appearing.

Good luck OP

is it just me wondering how things are, er, going...as it were?

Fybogel - swear by the stuff myself.

Sit on the loo and blow bubbles - really helps!

Success
I bought the glycerine suppositories but really really needed to go before I got to put one in.
I had some thin latex gloves so put one on and erm used the manual method to help things along. Behind all the compacted stuff was some more normal poo that has been helped by the senna and lactulose I am taking.
It was gross to do but very very necessary. I am a bit bruised though
Thank God for name changing. And thank you for making it ok for me to stick my fingers up my bottom and ping pellets of poo out. Well, not ok but at least vaguely reasonable.

buy a packet of linseeds, soak 1tbsp in water, leave for about 5/10 mins, drink followed by about 1/2 pt liquid. Do this every day & you'll be fine.

Hope the straining doesn't upset your piles.

Congrats - was just about to say that manual evacuation is good as it stimulates the rest of the bowl, you might get the squits later on, but oh the relief. Well done.

What did the maths teacher do when he was constipated?

He worked it out with a pencil....ha ha ah

you poor old soul
hope a repeat performance is not needed

ooooh - this thread has made me shudder. I have had constipation in the past and its awful.

I have picked up a few gems about it though. Firstly, eat fibre (obviously. Warm bath can help, and massage the lower back. The position in which you sit to shit is important too. The thing to do is lean forward with your knees raised slightly, popping your feet on a toilet roll gets it about right. I learnt all this from the physio who i saw re wetting myself every time i sneeze/cough/run/laugh. Apparently the pelvic floor does play some role in helping with having a poo. I do find that raising my legs does help, but thankfully, touch wood, haven't had to scoop it out yet.

I do TRY and eat enough fibre now though, having had an awful bout of constipation when pregnant and producing a poo the size of a tennis ball - i dont want that again, oh noo no no no.