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Original poster

Preparing an 11yr old for periods - how best to do it?

39 replies

mears · 01/02/2005 10:02

Am thinking of practicalities here. Should she have a little bad with spare pants and a sanitary towel incase it starts at school or if she is out somewhere? What sanitary towels are good for girls starting - I use Always with wings but they are too big for her.
She has expressed a worry about it starting at school because she has a male teacher and wouldn't want to tell him. Some of her friends have started their periods so I don't want her to get caught out. Equally I don't want to get her wound up about it. Advice from mums who have girls who have been through this stage needed

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Original poster
mears · 01/02/2005 10:02

meant bag of course

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starlover · 01/02/2005 10:08

When I started my Mum had bought me a little pack of panty liners, which were enough. My friend had the same ones... I forget what make they were but they had all different colour wrappers!

If she is worried about starting at school then I think the little bag idea is good... because then she knows she can just go and change without worrying about it.
I had a little make-up bag that I kept my towels in, so if it falls out of your school bag it's less embarassing!

WigWamBam · 01/02/2005 10:13

I think the first thing to do is to reassure her that her teacher will still understand and be sympathetic, so she shouldn't worry about starting at school. Her first period will probably be light anyway, so even if she has to wait until a break to get to the loo, she probably won't have stained her clothes. She probably won't even realise that it has started until she goes to the loo - I didn't.

If carrying a spare pair of knickers and a towel around makes her feel less worried about starting when she's out then it's a good idea - the little make-up bag idea sounds ideal.

RTKangaMummy · 01/02/2005 10:18

Does she do swimming at school?

RTKangaMummy · 01/02/2005 10:18

Has she spoken much to her friends about it?

birdsong · 01/02/2005 10:19

I have dd 10 in y5 and was wondering about what kind of provosion there is at primary schools for girls who start their periods because it must happen. Is your daughter at High School?

Original poster
mears · 01/02/2005 10:20

No swimming this year. I hope her first period is light - mine was a torrent

I have reassured her about her teacher already. Good idea about the make-up bag and panty liners.

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colditzmum · 01/02/2005 10:20

I think bodyform do quite small ones with wings, my little sister uses these and she is 14.

colditzmum · 01/02/2005 10:21

And birdsong, I started mine at primary school, and we were told to use the legendary TEACHER'S BATHROOM

Original poster
mears · 01/02/2005 10:22

She is in primary 7 and goes to the academy after the summer holidays. It seems to be a horror for girls who have started. They don't want anyone to tell anyone else IYKWIM. The nurse spoke to them yesterday about periods, conception, ectopic pregnancy and caesareans!

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birdsong · 01/02/2005 10:25

I feel quite ashamed but I haven't talked to my daughter about periods yet.Is 10 the right age ?

WigWamBam · 01/02/2005 10:27

I was 9 when I started mine, my mother hadn't spoken to me about them and I was terrified! Because of that, I will speak to my dd about them before she's 10.

starlover · 01/02/2005 10:28

mears.. does she have a good friend that she can talk to about it?
My best friend and myself made a pact to tell each other when we started... it might be a bit less scary for her if she does start at school and she has a friend she can tell...

Original poster
mears · 01/02/2005 10:30

There was thread recently asking for book recommendations for girls and periods but I can't find it. Definately speak to her soon birdsong. DD has known for a while because she has asked about my 'equipment' in the loo when she has seen it. Also since I am a midwife she sees all sorts of information lying about the house with pregnant women and babies on it. She told the nurse she knew all about babies and caesareans

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Original poster
mears · 01/02/2005 10:31

will ask her starlover

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RTKangaMummy · 01/02/2005 10:31

Good about not swimming cos that would be even more embaressing for her.

I cant remember mine

Do you mean the friends dont want to talk or the teachers dont want them to? {being very dim today}

Original poster
mears · 01/02/2005 10:35

Girls don't want to. DD came home and said her friend was very upset because someone told another girl that she had started her periods.

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RTKangaMummy · 01/02/2005 10:37

Oh dear

That is hard then if they cant talk to each other.

Perhaps as more of them start they will be happier to talk about it.

Sorry dont have any tips but the make-up bag idea is a good one.

birdsong · 01/02/2005 10:38

My dd goes swimming this year and next.
Having 3 siblings its hard to get a chance to talk alone but will persuade her to walk dog with me and talk to her.

birdsong · 01/02/2005 10:42

That sounds awful - I suppose an initial chat and I suppose once we have talked about it once and explained the biologh etc I can chat with her about friends etc and just a little reminder every so often. Sorry mears I suppose I need as much advice about this as you.

beachyhead · 01/02/2005 10:46

At my dd school all year 6 girls have to bring in a bag with pads in. That way, no-one differentiates between those who have started and those who haven't. I think it is a really good plan. I would ask someone at the school when they talk to the girls, whether they have any emergency supplies etc, so at least you feel more comfortable.

yoyo · 01/02/2005 10:48

Mears - my DD will be 9 soon and has been diagnosed with precocious puberty so this is very much an issue for me. Did your daughter ever mention girls at primary having started early? My daughter knows all about it but hates being "different" and so we haven't discussed the practicalities too much. I know I will have to send her with something soon but she isn't allowed to take anything other than a book bag so will have to overcome that hurdle too. She is also dreading swimming because she doesn't want the other girls to see her body. It is very sad. I started early as did my sister (usually a familial trait) but I was more mature than her and my school was tiny so no swimming or PE (I do remember once doing a handstand wearing a dress and someone shouting "your knickers are brown"!! A mortifying experience).

Sorry, didn't mean to go on. Hope someone gives that book title as it would be so useful.

WigWamBam - as you started so early did it have any effect on your height?

Original poster
mears · 01/02/2005 11:06

When was she diagnosed yoyo? 9 years old is not really excessively young. I thought precocious puberty was daignosed in girls younger than 7 yrs.

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yoyo · 01/02/2005 11:15

She was diagnosed at 8 having had blood tests and an x-ray to check bone development. The puberty is much less of an issue than the growth - she is of average height whereas I towered above my peers at her age.

Original poster
mears · 01/02/2005 11:21

DD was screened when she was just over a year and a half old because she had prominent breasts. She had a scan of her ovaries as well as blood tests but all was well. Her breasts disappeared when she was about 3yrs. I raed of girls starting periods from the age of 5 yrs. I am tall and like you was the tallest in the class. DD is smaller than a number of girls in her class. If she does not actually start her periods for a while yet, will that mean that there will be less concern about her growth? Interestingly my DS3 is very small for his age in comparison to his 2 brothers. The GP looked for signs of puberty but all was wwell. My DH is slightly smaller than me and his parents are small so we think he is just taking after his Dad. Same for DD.

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