The Great Cancer Recovery part 5

[Topofthecliffs]

Amazingly we have now filled four threads and are ready to start again. How time flies when you are being purposeful! Come and join in.

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!
Here are some resources we found helpful:
The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis
Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/
Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward
Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html
Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/
Exercise is good for you:
^https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients^
Any more suggestions? Post them below

(There is a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat, and you are welcome on any or all of these)

@MrsSqPenguinsI have 3. A very old lady cat who savages anyone or anything that pisses her off. A dopey, but cuddly giant mutant black cat, who's scared of his own shadow. And a young interloper who moved himself in after escaping the 3rd floor flat that was home by jumping off the balcony.

Three cats is lovely @MrTiddlesTheCat

That's great your children and grandchildren are doing well @GrannyGoggles

I didn't find counselling helpful @BatshitCrazyWoman but it's worth trying, for me it kind of reminded me of trauma rather than forgetting about it and moving on.

Passport arrived. So more holiday prep. Weather forecast is getting better.

Wise words @GrannyGoggles as always. I’ve fired up my decluttering systems again having taken a rest after clearing the PILs bungalow. A lot of their stuff got stashed away here. It is on the move again and so are a lot of my ill fitting or worn out clothes. I think replacing things that are useful but broken with new improved versions is a good thing to do. I bought a new cordless vacuum cleaner last week as the technology has come on loads since I bought my Henrietta. DH has put a bracket up on the wall for it and it makes me happy!

@BatshitCrazyWoman I was going to find a therapist at one point but got referred to Yoga for cancer patients while I was waiting. That was so good for me I decided I felt better having aligned my chakras and eliminated the bad energy. After the last month or two I need a top up! Chakras definitely out of whack this week. I did have a lovely spa morning with friends today and an afternoon tea for lunch so am very chilled now.

Welcome @MrTiddlesTheCat to you and your feline family. We don’t own any cats but there are at least three that have the run of our garden. Sorry to hear you have ongoing troubles. May they diminish!

I'm not sure what the therapy is doing for me, currently! I have yoga this morning though 😁

I’m here for a short rant. Swimming this morning, minding my own business in the faster medium lane, nice and quiet, one woman swimming the same pace as me and a speedy bloke who should have been in the fast lane but no problem, happy to pause to let him past. I’m going a bit more slowly than usual as I’m achey after a HITT workout yesterday. After about 15 lengths, speedy bloke takes it upon himself to stop and give me advice on my stroke technique. Thing is, he’s probably not wrong but I don’t want unsolicited advice from a stranger. And I wasn’t in a great mood this morning and just wanted peace and quiet and some endorphins to silence all the negativity in my head. I gave non commital answers and mentioned I have issues with my arms that should have made it clear I wanted him to shut up but he wouldn’t let it drop and tried to insist I do some lengths with his pull buoy. In the end I just said I wanted a rest and he should get on with his swim and I ducked into the slower lane. FFS. He meant well but why do people think they can give advice to total strangers without knowing anything about them?? It also upset me because I’m self conscious about being old and flabby and like to believe no one is scrutinising me while I swim.

Anyway, annoying as it was, I’ve been thinking for a while about getting some swim coaching so it’s given me a kick up the backside to do something about that.

@BatshitCrazyWoman i had counselling through Macmillan - super help in dealing with PTSD from diagnosis and chemo treatment. I think I need some more to deal with fear of it returning.

Was DS 11th birthday thing this weekend - Nando’s and sleepover with mates. Amongst the cricket bat & pads presents, we got him is own bank account with a card - and I feel he’s frittering it all on sweets on the way home from school already. We eat fairly healthy at home but he’s got such a sweet tooth. Suddenly realised he’ll be at secondary school in Sept and has his eye on a phone. We’ve said not until the summer - at least 50% of his mates have them already. I don’t want him to grow up but I also don’t want him to be left behind his friends. Hes fairly bright and sensible & we’ve been pretty open about internet safety with him. It’s all a learning curve, not just for him!

Happy birthday to your DS @Littlecaf

Sorry about annoying swimming man @dotty2 I've only had that once and it was about 10 years ago. He was a dodgy guy who was flirting with lots of women, dating a woman half his age and the flirting was going on when she was there, she was so lovely but so naïve, felt sorry for her though I guess her funded David Lloyd but yuck.

I went swimming yesterday though have cancelled the membership from end of month as we have so much we can do in garden and house and won't get it done if off swimming. I love watching the garden evolve. We have 5 solar dandelions now and its lovely to see them lit up each evening. Hoping to do more work on last garden path this weekend and weather forecast is good though I need to be careful as those slabs are heavy and I lifted 6 last weekend then reconstructed side ached. Manageable but there's 32 in total. DH will be with me. More Sri Lanka planning done. Also collected coffee table and new side tables for DS for the sofa bed. Its surviving well and lovely and DS using it. He's also using outdoor sofa cushions I got but one has gone on shed roof which wasn't were I had in mine but he's using them and there's a squirrel that's often there too. We had a cleaner for first time on Tuesday but they just did an hour as we had done it on Monday though by Wed I needed to redo the floor from DS. Will be very glad when paths and turfs are done and its drier. Getting there. So many pretty bulbs out now.

@dotty2 I wouldn't have been as polite as you to Swimming Expert. I have little patience with dickheads these days and nothing to lose by expressing myself. How dare he interfere with your day with his mansplaining? I get it quite often when cycling and it's really irritating. You are a better person than me!

I am now at DDs house with DDog for the week. I have walked miles already and my legs ache! It is all very neat and clean and there isn't much to do. I left DH at home and am missing him but am catching up on admin tasks for my sports club.
I might take a look at her garden later. I could do a bit of weeding and pruning to keep busy.

@dotty2 Hmm, well intentioned stranger or a bit of a k*

Enjoy being useful and purposeful @Topofthecliffs, or maybe just be, and rest. Or is that just not you? Enjoy that infant grandchild, such a lovely time

I’ve had 2 firsts yesterday and today: this evening I’m hanging out with grandchildren as their parents are out this evening. Hanging out, NOT babysitting as they’ve not babies
(9 & 11), faintly appalled at what’s apparently suitable watching, and firmly holding the remote. Yesterday I had my first tattoo, aged 68. A wren, symbolic of resistance and survival

@GrannyGoggles I think it’s possible to be both at once! I was rehearsing all the polite but assertive things I should have said for the rest of my swim. I can never think of the things in the moment. Still, it’s extremely rare for annoying stuff like that to happen. I must have swum over a thousand times in the last ten years so mustn’t let it discourage me.

I had my swimming lesson yesterday. The teacher was very helpful at showing me what I was doing wrong and took some videos of me swimming for reference. Now I have to try to put it into practice which will be hard but she’s suggested trying to fix one small thing at a time. I’d like another lesson but the company I booked with only does them in blocks of six weeks and I don’t have a clear diary slot that will work (and really think I just need another couple, don’t want to commit quite so much £).

Hope everyone had good weekends. I also managed a bit of diy, a bit of gardening and two HITT work outs with the body coach app. And discovered there’s no way I can do a burpee. Maybe one day!

Talking of swimming, any recommendations for a fake swim boob? I’m currently using a M&S foam one but it soaks up all the water!

Eldest DS got his secondary school place confirmed today - local comp, but has the best results of a state school in the county with an outstanding ofsted. We are very lucky. His primary school is on the same campus and we’re 10 mins walk away, so something would have needed to have gone very wrong for him not to get a place! I didn’t even put a second option down.

Hooray @Littlecaf that sounds very satisfactory. You have made your own luck!
@dotty2 that's amazing don't overdo things! I understand abut the burpee. I can't do push/press ups any more. My arms are too weak!

I am five days into my dog-sitting week and looking forward to going home. DDog is a little darling but I am missing DH and my own bed. I have walked miles and eaten very few cakes or biscuits as DDs house doesn't have any in the cupboard.
I have made some job lists now that spring is coming. The garden needs a good weeding and hacking and my boats need cleaning and polishing. Happily my car passed its MOT today and my dentist rang to offer a cancellation appointment for the big tooth rebuild on Wednesday. Things are moving forward slowly. I am still feeling a bit unfit and heavy, and have decided not to do an endurance event on Saturday as I won't enjoy it trailing round at the back.

While out with the DDog I am loving seeing the spring flowers and hearing the birds singing. It feels like being in the film Bambi!

Your time at your daughter’s house sounds like a nice time out @Topofthecliffs but I understand your desire for your own bed and home. And I’m glad that’s off your worry list @Littlecaf . Even if not really in doubt, that must be a relief.

I’ve done two swims trying my new technique and it’s incredibly frustrating. I feel constantly out of breath and like I am flailing around. But I know I have to persevere. I don’t need a prosthesis but I think @MrsSqPenguins used to use one and might advise. You can really see the weird shape of my boob in a swimming costume but I genuinely don’t care any more.

@Littlecaf Before delayed DIEP I used this when swimming and it was excellent from Amoena - bizarrely sometimes they go on sale. I actually used these all the time and preferred them to the other ones as they are washable. Very good shape wise. Do have to work out your size but I was measured at hospital for an everyday one and gave me my size. They lasted well.
https://www.amoena.com/uk-en/breast-forms/leisure-and-swim-breast-forms/aqua-wave-breast-form-transparent-1149-size-9/?vat=on&pk_source=google&pk_medium=cpc&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23492904193&gbraid=0AAAAADrMNIfV_IFCUQ2VkcF3iERFvBjSU&gclid=CjwKCAiAqprNBhB6EiwAMe3yhro2Q5LSVWWcR2K2CpH7gLdEBeUZAwAET55LuKx9ornHu489PINDqhoCip0QAvD_BwE#fo_c=2719&fo_k=42812c04d03784076350ccaf0227dada&fo_s=gplauk Great news about the school, I hope he is happy there.

Well done on the exercise @dotty2 and @Topofthecliffs

Glad you are enjoying the grandchildren @GrannyGoggles

We did 5 hours in the garden at the weekend and got 1/3 of the final path done, weeding and some preparing of soil for new turf and also cleaned floors downstairs. Its lovely seeing all the bulbs and love the solar dandelions when they turn on at dusk. DS is using the garden a lot.

Not sure what is happening with holiday to Sri Lanka now - DH chose Emirates flights via Dubai rather than direct via Sri Lankan airlines as he preferred the aeroplane type. I've cancelled everything over there and the parking here as was all free cancellation but flights they aren't advising people until hours before. We may end up having to pay cancellation charges and lose seat bookings so around £1,000 lost in total unless they cancel. I am not optimistic for things improving before we are due to fly. We also can't risk being delayed either due to DS and even without DS would not want to be stuck with missiles flying over. I have loved planning it, watching videos, learning about the country and talking to people there so it maybe like Borneo were we booked for 2020 in 2019 but got to go in 2024. If they cancel I think we get everything back though its not 100% clear - flight out is definitely covered and I think flight back is covered as its same booking but its non EU airline. I am investigating other options - current favourite is Azores which we loved but further islands but the flight situation is complicated and sometimes those flights get cancelled but only a couple of days. I have hotels in mind and know trips we can do, its just whether we book now or wait it out but I can't see a solution happening on Sri Lanka.

I'm really struggling with fatigue at the moment. I phoned in sick again this morning. I'm so tired I just want to cry.

I’m sorry to hear that @MrTiddlesTheCat Remind me how far out from the end of your treatment you are? Is there anything that helps? A nap? A gentle stroll? If not, give yourself permission to lie on the sofa and watch rubbish tv. This recovery business is hard.

And I’m very sorry about Sri Lanka! Yes, maybe it will be your second Borneo….

Thanks @dotty2 I've just seen on another thread that someone flying with Emirates was phoned night before and offered a different airlines flight not going via Middle East. Its all so right up to the wire and we have zero flexibility on dates.

I had surgery last April, started tamoxifen in May, radiotherapy in July, hysteroscopy in October (thanks tamoxifen), shoulder surgery in December, ongoing lymph therapy. Pretty rubbish year really.

@MrsSqPenguins thanks for the tip! Will take a look. And I also know of two people who have been offered alternative flights not via the Middle East.

A friend is currently working in Saudi Arabia, he says he can see the missles and they’ve all been told to stay inside. Very scared for him and everyone else.

Thanks @Littlecaf Yes its a scary situation in Middle East and we have decided even if we lose money on the flights (rest has been cancelled for free, current cost to cancel flights is £1,000 for all of us total but will be free if they cancel) we will take the hit to be safe and also not have delays. We have a friends child working out there though there are repatriation flights starting but its most vulnerable first. I established yesterday that when people are being rerouted its just outbound flight and they seem to find out a few hours to 24 hours before. Though I've heard of some great rerouting but Sri Lanka is hard to reroute not going over a war zone especially as the zone keeps increasing. We also have to be back on our return date. Return flights aren't covered as non EU though am interested to see what happens. The trouble is you find out right last minute and alternative flight prices are skyrocketing and sold out often. We have kind of decided its impossible to solve this other than cancel but I find myself unable to book anything else yet without a resolution to this as my head is what is happening. Much bigger issues in the world and very glad money is all we have to worry a bit about for this.

@MrTiddlesTheCat Indeed, a very rubbish year. It’s still early days for you really, if you think about having 8 months dominated by treatment, and only a couple of months out. I hope you’re feeling better today?

Flights went full refund today so Sri Lanka is cancelled for pretty much free and we have just booked a week in a spa hotel in La Gomera. Hopefully can get to Sri Lanka another time.

We had a lovely new cleaner come for a couple of hours yesterday and everyone loved her especially our cat and DS let her in his bathroom. We had just cleaned it before but was good he was co-operating. More garden path and turf this weekend.

Hope everyone has had a good weekend. We had Sunday lunch yesterday and did the garden today - nearly 4 hours out there and got the final garden path 2/3rds done so just one more time for that, probably next Sunday. Pick DD up from university on Saturday and she is home for a whole 2 days before 3 rowing camps start. She's got herself jobs as rowing coaches so gets paid to go to 2 of the camps. Silkies came with us. I was also preparing for lawn seed, think we will try lawn seed first and if fails go to turf. There were so many lovely bulbs out today - daffodils, white hyacinths, pink hyacinths, red tulips, blue iris etc. Received notification my flight will be refunded in full, nothing for DHs flight which I applied for earlier than mine but hopefully will hear about that one soon.

COVID rash urg, doctor calling.