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Spincter injury, fistula - support eachother?

958 replies

Cyee · 13/05/2008 20:22

Hi everyone,

Wonderful weather we're having

I am propped up in bed post-hospital and I was wondering if anyone out there knows of, or would enjoy/benefit from, a thread or support site for people who have experienced the above (sphincter damage, fistula etc.) as a result of childbirth.

In my own experience, this whole area is a bit taboo. In fact the consultants reckon there are many women who have some symptoms related to the above, who never seek treatment. The thought of women embarrassed to discuss these matters is awful, yet that seems to be the case.

So - this (while souped up on painkillers) is a call to arms:

  • Is there a site out there for women like us?
  • If not, would you like there to be?
  • Would a thread on MN especially for this, be useful?
  • Would it be useful to share experiences with consultants/physios/hospitals/procedures?

If these matters resonate with you or anyone you know, it would be great if you could point them in this direction. I'm going to post in the 'health' and 'childbirth' sections too.

I know too well the taboo around this. I posted on MN when I got my diagnosis and used a different name...

Hope to hear from some people soon.

Cyee
(successfully repaired as of last Wednesday (fingers/legs crossed))

OP posts:
ThingOne · 22/04/2009 18:23

Not only the 700th post but it's nearly our first birthday!

kentmumtj · 22/04/2009 20:45

hi guys

have just been catching up as ive been working such long hours now im back to the rat race

am still yet to break my virginity and i think this weekend may be the weekend if dh is lucky am still very nervous as it still feels sore especially on the outside area but am 8 weeks post op now s fingers crossed.

anyways i have a stinking cold and am sneezing likt a trooper which is now letting me know i have a very weak bladder pelvic floor area as i had previously been told. not good sneezing crossing your legs then having to run for a wee.
Am thinking of buying them cones you insert for pelvic floor exercises.

but first i have to make sure something can be inserted arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! roll on the weekend

hope everyone else is doing well

Sawyer64 · 25/04/2009 09:50

Fingers crossed for you Kentmumtj

ThingOne · 25/04/2009 21:26

We need an update soon , kentmumtj.

Sawyer64 · 25/04/2009 23:11

Hopefully too busy for an update tonight though ThingOne

Jacksmama · 26/04/2009 17:39

Curious about an update, too. We still haven't been given the green light for "the deed" - a few more weeks and then we can try [eeeeeeeek emoticon].

Happy Birthday to the Ragged Bits Support Thread!

Sawyer64 · 27/04/2009 13:41

been to see my Consultant today,although things have much improved since speaking to Gynae Specialist nurse 3 weeks ago.

He said everything has healed fine,it is normal to have a little discharge when you are healing,and there is one stitch that is part of a deeper repair which might "bother" DH,but he said "Tough Luck" he'll have to "get on with it" !He said that these sutures take quite a while to dissolve,which is good really as that part of the repair needs some support for quite a while.

Hope everyone else is ok?

Jacksmama · 27/04/2009 15:49

Doing well thank you!! I actually feel really good - so good that I was gardening and planting and heaving my hydrangea pots around!
So will I have to "graduate" from this thread when I'm fully healed or can I still hang around and see how everyone else is getting on?

Jacksmama · 27/04/2009 15:51

And at consultant being unsympathetic to your DH Sawyer... after everything we've been through, I can't find much sympathy within me for him being bothered by a suture thread, FGS!! At least he's getting "a little something-something"...

ThingOne · 27/04/2009 17:46

I like that consultant!

Sawyer64 · 27/04/2009 18:31

DH says he'll be brave! These men don't know they are born!!!

ThingOne · 27/04/2009 20:54

He'll be brave. Snort.

Cyee · 29/04/2009 13:10

Ha!!! Loving the consultant's take on things More importantly I'm delighted you're doing better Sawyer64.

Jacksmama - as for graduating off this thread - don't be mad! For a start you definitely can't go until you lose your virginity (again) I think we need you here for your wise words.

Speaking of action - we need an update kentmumj. We pervs eagerly await your news and hope it's good news

Take care all, and I hope the sun is shining where you are.

OP posts:
Sawyer64 · 29/04/2009 14:51

Thanks Cyee.

kentmumtj · 29/04/2009 19:36

hi all

sorry but am still a vigin.........

didnt even attempt a 'warm up' .......

i am ill......

fever of 104 for days, sweating and i mean proper water running off my body, sore throat like yukky and pussy not pussy as in cat but puss...y as in nastiness........how do you spell that? anyways achy bones, ulcers, even cold sores (i never get these), eventually saw am emergency doc as couldnt take pain in my ear and he gave me antibiotics, i continued getting worse and had trouble breathing
went back to my doc who told me i have 3 things (cos im greedy dh says) i have flu and not swine flu, i have throat and ear and chest infections, and have a virus. She gave me much stronger antibiotics and today is my first day out of bed.

As dh says 'i was hot stuff in bed' even if it was a temperature

kentmumtj · 29/04/2009 19:46

sorry am not a vigin meant virgin

oh and another thing my dh is laughing bout and so am i ........he said.......the excuses you make to get out of doing 'it' he said getting myself ill was a new one

jacksmama you be careful lugging around any havey plants in pots

sawyer does dh feel that deep stitch?
im very curious as im going for it this weekend definatly. Actually im looking forward to it as its been ages even though i am apprehensive. Just wonder what it will feel like for him as well as me i guess.

cyee lol 'pervs'

anyways i hope your all well and healing as you should.

Sawyer64 · 29/04/2009 22:44

Yes DH says he can.The first time he said he was a bit sore

The 2nd time he said it felt like something was pricking him LOL!!!

Wish you better soon kentmumtj

ThingOne · 30/04/2009 17:14

Oh kentmum, poor you. That sounds rotten. Hugs and good luck for the weekend. Pervwatch will be here, rooting for you through the ether.

ThingOne · 30/04/2009 17:15

Oh kentmum, poor you. That sounds rotten. Hugs and good luck for the weekend. Pervwatch will be here, rooting for you through the ether.

Jacksmama · 30/04/2009 20:27

LOL at Pervwatch. You're all funny.

Poor you kentmum. We all had the flu (people kind) end of January right before I had my op, and I had the night sweats like you wouldn't believe. The kind where you have to have a new dry duvet, not just new dry sheets.
Hope all goes well with doing the deed when you feel better. Apparently we can attempt things in another few weeks Chez Jack. I have had the occasional frisky thought, I will admit. Not often (man, does BFing ever do bad things to my libido) but even some is an improvement.
I was careful lugging plant pots BTW - thank you!!

Gillyan · 01/05/2009 15:01

Hi guys.

I have posted on here before I think, not got time to look now.

I had a 3rd degree tear 3 yrs ago. MW has said it was half a cm away from me needing a colostomy bag.

I'm 30 wks PG now and still don't know wether to have a elect section or just go for it again......

ANY ADVICE VERY WELCOME please.....

DD was 7.5lbs, she was the right way, she was panted out etc so nothing I can do differently next time apart from may
be try birthing in water.

Had to see the aneasthetist as when then were doing my spinal for th erepair job it took 9 attempts to get in.

I am booked in for section but don't know if I want it. Aneasthetist has said they would recommend giving me a General rather than a spinal but there is no way I am being knocked out.

Please help! What happened to any of you that have had another baby since your injuries??

Sawyer64 · 01/05/2009 17:43

I haven't had the damage some have had on here,but judging by their posts,the misery and pain just isn't worth risking IMO.

You will want to enjoy your new baby,without all of that discomfort.If you tore badly once it seems likely it will happen again.

I had a planned CS,and IMO it was great,I didn't have much discomfort after,on advice I got moving asap,instead of laying and getting stiff and sore.I was walking out and getting in a bath 5 hours after.

The experts in these matters,the Specialist Surgeons,don't use give you a choice,as they feel it wouldn't be in your best interests to risk the damage again.

Sawyer64 · 01/05/2009 18:27

Sorry not use but usually

Jacksmama · 02/05/2009 01:09

Have the section Gillyan. Seriously. Why risk all you've been through again? As for the general, I wouldn't go for it either, not for a C/S. You want to be there when your new babe comes!! Just tell them to get someone really good to do your spinal.

kentmumtj · 02/05/2009 15:06

Hi Gillian just to wish you luck in what ever you choose think if it were me i would go for c sec whilst awake.

Pervwatch update
To all you pervs out there........I have got rid of my 2 older children for the night and planning on putting younger childrn to bed nice and early ...... have started getting myself ready for my big nite ahead. Need to do some pruning etc as that area has been so neglected .........update very soon

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