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Original poster

Can I get a handhold please?

36 replies

Tiredandafraid · 08/06/2018 20:11

I'm a little afraid and probably should step away from the internet. Im exhausted. I have heavy feeling and pain low in my stomach, 7lb weight gain in last 4-6 weeks, seemingly all on my stomach and I now look six months pregnant, hell I FEEL six months pregnant, like everything has been pushed up to under my ribs. Except a million negative home pregnancy tests say Im not. I get up to pee three times a night and get random shooting pains in my cervix. So i went to GP who was very nice, didnt actually say much of anything except confirmed there was no urine infection, asked about childbirth injuries (last birth was almost 8 years ago) sent me for a raft of blood tests on Monday and referred me for an urgent ultrasound. I went mostly because of all the threads I've read on here ( I've namechanged and been here a good ten years) and knew it probably should be checked out and I think I expected to hear, I was over reacting, its probably menopause or maybe irritable bowel or something benine; come back in six months if you're still feeling shite sort of thing but doctor nodded at my distention, asked loads of questions had a feel of my tummy and determined an urgent ultrasound was required. I keep telling myself if it was serious, he would have sent me somewhere straight away - I'm hoping he's just being cautious. Really really hoping. Anyone else had similar and it wasn't serious? I could really use a handhold and some possible alternatives

OP posts:

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 08/06/2018 21:04

Sorry I have no useful experience but I'll hold your hand while you wait

Do you have an appointment for your ultrasound yet?

Well done for going to the GP and getting it checked out.

MadisonAvenue · 08/06/2018 21:09

I can offer a hand to hold too

Really glad that you went to your GP, and that you won't wait long for the ultrasound.

SparkleHorse82 · 08/06/2018 21:25

You should get seen within a week. When I had a breast lump even though the GP thought it was benign they fitted me in within a few days. Try not to think about it until then - you've done the right thing in going and you'll know more soon enough. Hugs xxx

Original poster

Tiredandafraid · 08/06/2018 21:35

Thank you all. Appreciate it very much. No appointment yet but was told it should be within a week.

OP posts:

TwitterQueen1 · 08/06/2018 21:40

Handhold. I don't have a good story but I'm keeping everything crossed for you.

Original poster

Tiredandafraid · 08/06/2018 21:52

Thank you @TwitterQueen1, you were a big part of my decision for making that appointment. You are quite inspirational in other ways too I still dont have the right/good words to say to you, so will just send my very best wishes and thank you for the fingers and toes :)

OP posts:

TwitterQueen1 · 08/06/2018 21:57

thank you tired . I didn't want to be too specific in case you didn't know, but obviously you do! I'm very glad if I played a small part in getting you to the doc.

You can ask me anything - no matter how trivial it may seem. There's not much you can do until you get the ultrasound - they should give you an indication then and there if there is anything that requires further action. And if the bloods do show anything your GP should be ringing you on Tuesday.

Original poster

Tiredandafraid · 08/06/2018 22:27

Thank you TQ, you actually answered one question that was circling in my head already, will they just do the scan and send the results to my GP or can they/will they say anything there and then? I think, despite wanting to ask the "before you knew, did it feel like x y or z", Im probably quite scared of hearing the answers. Im not at all brave about anything medical - despite having three babies with no pain relief at all. I was stuttering talking to the doctor (a childhood issue that returns in times of stress). Please know your generous offer is incredibly appreciated tho. Truly.

OP posts:

Canwejustrelaxnow · 08/06/2018 22:36

I had very similar last year and everything was all clear. Still don't know what it was. I was very anxious, as in had anxiety, which I think contributed to a lot of symptoms. My bloating would come and go though, it was not there permanently. I followed advice on here and took a few oral thrush tablets which seemed to stop the pains and the frequent urination. It's hard to think back and remember. I think it was just linked to my cycle. Sorry, not much help. At the ultrasound they did feedback to me there and then. Good luck.

Lougle · 08/06/2018 22:41

They will have you in ASAP to narrow down the causes of your symptoms. As the obvious concern is ruled in/out, then they can decide how to proceed with investigating and treating your condition. No matter what the cause is, the first thing they'll want to do is make you feel more comfortable, which is something they can achieve quite quickly.

TwitterQueen1 · 08/06/2018 22:45

They will not be able to diagnose you via the ultrasound but they should tell you whether or not there is anything like a lump or a mass. They won't say tumour because they won't know. It could be a cyst for example.

They also told me I had a huge amount of fluid so they will be able to see that too if it's there.

We all hate medical procedures but the reality is never is bad or as painful as you think it might be.

Slightlyjaded · 11/06/2018 18:20

Hi Tired. Hope you gave some answers now and the news is good.

Alfiemoon1 · 12/06/2018 14:57

Have been following this thread have u had your ultrasound yet? Hope it was good news

Original poster

Tiredandafraid · 12/06/2018 18:26

Had bloods but no ultrasound yet, still waiting on the appointment which is quite frustrating. I promise to come back and update once I actually know something. God I hate not knowing. I can talk myself in and out of it being something, and then in and out of it being nothing at least a hundred times a day. I've only really been waiting two days; it just feels like a lifetime. Thanks all for being here

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Slightlyjaded · 12/06/2018 19:46

Tired the waiting is the worst. You swing from feeling optimistic to terrified 100 times a day, and it's all meaningless without a diagnoses.

Will be thinking of you off and on and crossing my fingers for you.

YearOfYouRemember · 12/06/2018 19:51

Tired - I hope you get your appointment soon and everything is okay.

I am awaiting a scan too to rule out anything scary. The waiting bit not helped by the rude and unhelpful receptionist when I rang to see if there was an appointment for me yet.

Original poster

Tiredandafraid · 16/06/2018 20:03

Scans (I wasnt expecting more than one!) are still eight days away although I do have an appointment to look forward to... I felt (and was) especially unwell at work this week and whilst colleagues were wonderful, I couldn't say anything/explain because I simply dont know anything - except it's certainly something. Thank you to everyone for thinking of me.

@YearOfYouRemember have you heard anything yet? Fingers crosed for you.

OP posts:

TwitterQueen1 · 16/06/2018 22:31

Watching and waiting with you OP. Hang on in there. What were the results of the blood test? If you had a raised CA125 your GP should have told you.

Original poster

Tiredandafraid · 17/06/2018 09:23

GP wouldnt discuss the blood results as "whilst they're a useful tool they are not really indicative in and of themselves" I was basically told some people dont have elevated results and have early stage cacer and others have sky high levels, but none. I have already been referred and got a date for my scans so he wouldnt give me a number as he didn't think it would be helpful at this point. "It tells us nothing, yet"

In other news my liver appears to be fine and calcium looks a little low but not worryingly so. I didn't dare ask a number for that.

I used to have a brilliant GP who saw me through a high risk pregnancy, a very debilitating infection and the death of a very close relative. We used to take bets on what my BP reading was and he understood where I was coming from when I said "this isnt right", listened and actually discussed MY health, with ME. He's since retired, sadly.

I think the most infuriating thing was being patronised. I didn't expect it either.

I'm a confident, capable, usually unflappable professional woman in my forties. It's been at least a decade since someone successfully attempted condescending in my direction. I was very matter of fact when we spoke as my default crisis mode is "collected" , (except when I'm alone at 3am and have no information at all to properly process. Eh, I guess I'll just have to wait and see). There's not really any other choice is there?

Thanks for being here TQ, how you doing?

OP posts:

TwitterQueen1 · 17/06/2018 09:37

That's crap tired - patronising and condescending. I think we're all old enough to make our own minds up about our own health. He's correct in saying the readings are not necessarily indicative but he should still have told you what they were. This just adds to the worry - it doesn't alleviate it at all .

I'm OK thanks. Mouth ulcers (from chemo) have reappeared but they'll be gone in a few days. I have the results of my latest scan on the 25th, which I'm petrified about. No energy for gardening unfortunately. I have a lovely week coming up though, DD2 is 21 on Thursday, plus she is graduating. DD1 is coming home for a few days and DD3 is home from uni.

Original poster

Tiredandafraid · 17/06/2018 10:59

It's just such a.... I don't even have the words for how irksome that kind of attitude is. My father who has stage 4 cancer currently hasn't ever been treated like that! It feels so misogynistic and patriarchal . I'm sure it's unintentionally done but even so. sigh I haven't even the energy to rant well.

Mouth ulcers? Ouch. Congratulations to your DD2, on both the 21st and the graduation - hope you have a marvellous time with all your girls and hope 25th is good news. I shall be thinking of you, as you wait. I know how that waiting shit goes
coz sometimes flowers just dont cut it :)

OP posts:

YearOfYouRemember · 17/06/2018 12:06

My scan is Wednesday afternoon.

intuition · 17/06/2018 20:47

I'm in virtually the same position! Had a scan 2 weeks ago and the lady doing the scan said it was probs scar tissue or a fibroid but atypical

Saw gynaecologist this week as an urgent referral due to massive bleeding and he is really concerned and wants to scan me himself this week.

He plans to operate on 28/6 but needs a scan first to decide what op to do.

Absolutely terrified!! He said it could be a tumour but atypical as I'm 49 and not post menopausal.

Original poster

Tiredandafraid · 17/06/2018 21:27

@YearOfYouRemember At last! Im pleased for you. So glad you haven't got too much longer to wait. I'll keep everything crossed for you.

@intuition oh gosh that must be so scary. Glad it's been dealt with so quickly tho and the consultant's working on a plan. I don't have any bleeding as such, no idea if thats a good or a bad thing. I've had some early menopause symtoms and really thought this was just another one, until it became a bit more obvious it wasnt. I'll keep everything crossed for you too, for a positive outcome.

I think I must look like a bloated pretzel - seems there's a few of us around here just waiting... happy to provide beanbags and snacks for all, oh and more wine of course!

OP posts:

Ickyockycocky · 17/06/2018 21:32

A handhold from me 🖐. My story started in a similar way, I’m nearly five years on now and completely well. It’s the waiting that gets you. 💐

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