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Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

Original poster

Living at Uni Halls v Living at home

54 replies

cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 09:52

Hello,
Our son has just moved into Halls at UCL. It's a big contrast to where we live now. Living in London is very expensive. Has anyone been in the situation where their child has decided to move back home for the second year and commute in because if costs and finding It's not for them? I heard on a radio programme that more students are doing this. Be interested to hear anyone else's experiences. Thanks.

OP posts:
RoosterPotato · 22/09/2025 09:55

A counterpoint is that the people I knew who lived at home in the first year were desperate to move in with friends from second year as they felt they missed out on so much of the social aspect. But obviously if it’s unaffordable that should be the priority.

DiscoBob · 22/09/2025 09:58

I mean he chose to go to a university in the very centre of London. So it is hardly surprising it's expensive.
How long would it take each day for him to commute from home, and how much would it cost?

Is he not enjoying living with his peers? Once he settles in he might be able to get a flatshare with some mates, a bit further out but still nearer than home?

PersistentRain · 22/09/2025 10:09

DH grew up in Glasgow and the vast majority of them stayed at home, some of his friends got a flat for one year and then just moved back home.
I actually don’t think it sounded that fun, especially for him, but he spent so little as he had no fees at the time.

Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 10:14

DiscoBob · 22/09/2025 09:58

I mean he chose to go to a university in the very centre of London. So it is hardly surprising it's expensive.
How long would it take each day for him to commute from home, and how much would it cost?

Is he not enjoying living with his peers? Once he settles in he might be able to get a flatshare with some mates, a bit further out but still nearer than home?

Yes, I take your point- it's early days. He might want to look at different accommodation in the future. He thinks it might save around £6000 if he travels from home. It also depends on where he finds some part time work- early days .....

OP posts:
Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 10:21

RoosterPotato · 22/09/2025 09:55

A counterpoint is that the people I knew who lived at home in the first year were desperate to move in with friends from second year as they felt they missed out on so much of the social aspect. But obviously if it’s unaffordable that should be the priority.

Good point- I can see that as a reason to live in. It's very early days. We will have to how the next few weeks/ months go. I'm sure there are lots of other students feeling the same and they are much further away from home 🤞

OP posts:
DiscoBob · 22/09/2025 10:30

cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 10:14

Yes, I take your point- it's early days. He might want to look at different accommodation in the future. He thinks it might save around £6000 if he travels from home. It also depends on where he finds some part time work- early days .....

Show quote history

He is probably thinking about what he could do with the rent money! London is expensive and there's no way round that really.

But if he moved somewhere near a tube station in like zone 3/4 then he could still get into uni in about half an hour?

How long would it take and what would it cost to commute?

Radiatorvalves · 22/09/2025 10:32

Sort of. DS is st UCL and was in halls first year (loved it) and in a flat second year (loved it but found it very expensive and dealing with the landlord was painful). We covered accomm costs up to the level of halls, but said he’d need to pay the rest (approx 3 months rent as it was a year contract).

Hes abroad 3rd year but has already said he wants to live at home fourth year. We are zone 3 on the northern line so will take him about 45 mins to commute. Similar if he cycles.

Hes had an amazing time socially and friendship groups are established. He knows he’s going to have to work hard in fourth year to turn his high 2-1 into a first. I think he’s making the right decision. I would have been surprised if he’d done it second year. Other thing to mention is that he had a good hospitality job that was a lot easier for him being in central London.

DramaLlamacchiato · 22/09/2025 10:33

Mine has gone the other way. Started uni last year, commuting. Struggled a lot and I think being home and not able to engage in the full uni experience was part of it. He’s starting again this year, and is in halls, despite uni being fairly local. Hoping it’ll be a different experience and worth it. I stayed at home when I went to uni but I was a home bird and only 17 with no desire to move away.

museumum · 22/09/2025 10:38

I HATED commuting in London, if you live in a commutable distance, it's likely he will do that as a young graduate and in fact maybe for the rest of his life (!!) so I would do anything to avoid it as a student if he can. Unless of course you live within say zone 4 or so.... Especially as a student without a personal desk/office, you feel like a packhorse carrying your bag, laptop, lunch, etc around all day and evening and having to find corners of the library to work and cafes to eat if you want to stay in town for an evening thing. Not to mention sports kit if you want to do any exercise. Honestly I hated it.

Londonmummy66 · 22/09/2025 10:41

DD lived in halls in her first year and it wasn't a great experience as she was in a flat with a load of international post grads (she was 18). They were also absolutely filthy. She rented a flat with 2 friends in second year which she enjoyed but chose to come home after that but we are in zone 2 and so she was no further out than she would have been renting. Fourth year several of her friends rented near us so our home become the local student base....

mugglewump · 22/09/2025 10:47

Sorry your son is not liking being in halls, he is probably just a bit homesick and overwhelmed. In a month's time, he may well be loving it and think living so centrally in the capital is great.

As for being a live at home student, you don't say where you live which makes a big difference in terms of his commute. My son was in UCL halls for his first year tho' we are in London (zone 2), and he chose to live with friends for his second year. He did live at home for his final year, but for him it was just a longer bus journey home, and if there was a big night out he could use the night buses. If you are rural home counties, his last train home might be 10pm which could really curtail his social life. Give him time to settle before considering being a live at home student.

Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 10:50

Londonmummy66 · 22/09/2025 10:41

DD lived in halls in her first year and it wasn't a great experience as she was in a flat with a load of international post grads (she was 18). They were also absolutely filthy. She rented a flat with 2 friends in second year which she enjoyed but chose to come home after that but we are in zone 2 and so she was no further out than she would have been renting. Fourth year several of her friends rented near us so our home become the local student base....

I can see why your daughter made that decision. We live in Kent so the commute would take an hour and abit. Our son hasn't got a job yet,but is applying for one. It's a big transition. I think the other students on his floor are nice but he's still settling in and it will become clearer once his lectures start. He's got a medical condition to deal with too.We will see what the next few weeks are like. You don't know until you give it ago I guess. Appreciate you sharing your experience 😊👍

OP posts:
socks1107 · 22/09/2025 10:53

Both mine stay home and commute into London universities.
eldest just graduated with a first and has an excellent job
youngest back to year two and commuting:
it’s worked well for us and both daughters have enjoyed the experience as much as those who’ve moved out

socks1107 · 22/09/2025 10:54

cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 10:50

I can see why your daughter made that decision. We live in Kent so the commute would take an hour and abit. Our son hasn't got a job yet,but is applying for one. It's a big transition. I think the other students on his floor are nice but he's still settling in and it will become clearer once his lectures start. He's got a medical condition to deal with too.We will see what the next few weeks are like. You don't know until you give it ago I guess. Appreciate you sharing your experience 😊👍

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I’m also in Kent and they do the commute. One to Greenwich the other to central London nowhere have had any issues

Mydadsbirthday · 22/09/2025 10:56

We are in North London - it's very normal for students to live out down the first year and move back home and commute for second year, from what I've seen from friends and relatives' children. My DH did similar and moved back into town for his final year.

Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 10:57

mugglewump · 22/09/2025 10:47

Sorry your son is not liking being in halls, he is probably just a bit homesick and overwhelmed. In a month's time, he may well be loving it and think living so centrally in the capital is great.

As for being a live at home student, you don't say where you live which makes a big difference in terms of his commute. My son was in UCL halls for his first year tho' we are in London (zone 2), and he chose to live with friends for his second year. He did live at home for his final year, but for him it was just a longer bus journey home, and if there was a big night out he could use the night buses. If you are rural home counties, his last train home might be 10pm which could really curtail his social life. Give him time to settle before considering being a live at home student.

Edited

Hi,
We live in Kent so it would be more of a commute. Yes I think he's homesick and we're missing him alot too.
I think we'll just have to see how the first year goes and how he adjusts to life in Central London. He might feel different in a years time. It is all a steep learning curve for us but we'll find a way through. Have wondered if he might want to live somewhere slightly quieter for the second year. Good to hear your experience 😊

OP posts:
2chocolateoranges · 22/09/2025 11:01

We live near quite a few amazing universities and most of dds school friends and even uni friends live at home. If people are trying to keep costs down then it’s wise to live at home.

dd doesn’t feel she has missed out on anything, she has an amazing social life, her uni is a 20 minute drive from the house or 40 minutes on the bus. If they have nights out in the city centre they just book a room at a travel lodge as it’s cheaper than a taxi. She doesn’t have to cook or fend for herself and was able to keep her part time job to see her through uni.

turkeyboots · 22/09/2025 11:03

You miss traditional student life and milestones staying at home, but that suits some. I live near Dublin where student accommodation is both expensive and extremely hard to get, so anyone who can commute does.
DD friends are closest to those they share a commute with, social life is limited in order to make the last bus and student unions report student societies are in trouble due to falling membership.

Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 11:04

Radiatorvalves · 22/09/2025 10:32

Sort of. DS is st UCL and was in halls first year (loved it) and in a flat second year (loved it but found it very expensive and dealing with the landlord was painful). We covered accomm costs up to the level of halls, but said he’d need to pay the rest (approx 3 months rent as it was a year contract).

Hes abroad 3rd year but has already said he wants to live at home fourth year. We are zone 3 on the northern line so will take him about 45 mins to commute. Similar if he cycles.

Hes had an amazing time socially and friendship groups are established. He knows he’s going to have to work hard in fourth year to turn his high 2-1 into a first. I think he’s making the right decision. I would have been surprised if he’d done it second year. Other thing to mention is that he had a good hospitality job that was a lot easier for him being in central London.

Hi,good to hear your experience with your son. It just goes to show from these replies,that there's not any specific clear cut way of approaching it. Our son is looking for some part time work and the reality of the costs of living in London is dawning on him. He's doing a course where he hopes to spend a year abroad.
Did you meet up with your son much in the first year to help him find his feet?

OP posts:
Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 11:10

DramaLlamacchiato · 22/09/2025 10:33

Mine has gone the other way. Started uni last year, commuting. Struggled a lot and I think being home and not able to engage in the full uni experience was part of it. He’s starting again this year, and is in halls, despite uni being fairly local. Hoping it’ll be a different experience and worth it. I stayed at home when I went to uni but I was a home bird and only 17 with no desire to move away.

Yes it does depend on the personality of the student. It's a good point about students missing out on the social life aspects if they commute. Our son is a home bird. He's quiet,but there will be other students like that who are much further away from home than he is. We will just have to see how the next few weeks go and trying to support him in the best way we can. I went to college so didn't go through the experience of living in London or halls as I had to find my own accommodation.

OP posts:
Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 11:15

museumum · 22/09/2025 10:38

I HATED commuting in London, if you live in a commutable distance, it's likely he will do that as a young graduate and in fact maybe for the rest of his life (!!) so I would do anything to avoid it as a student if he can. Unless of course you live within say zone 4 or so.... Especially as a student without a personal desk/office, you feel like a packhorse carrying your bag, laptop, lunch, etc around all day and evening and having to find corners of the library to work and cafes to eat if you want to stay in town for an evening thing. Not to mention sports kit if you want to do any exercise. Honestly I hated it.

Yes I take your point about the challenges of commuting. Our son is quiet so I don't think the social life is the top priority at the moment,but it could change I time. A tricky dilemma! 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 11:19

socks1107 · 22/09/2025 10:53

Both mine stay home and commute into London universities.
eldest just graduated with a first and has an excellent job
youngest back to year two and commuting:
it’s worked well for us and both daughters have enjoyed the experience as much as those who’ve moved out

Thank you- am encouraged to hear it can work out. It might be something we will be doing in the near future. I think you know what is going to work for your son/ daughter. As a parent you also want to know your teenager is happy 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 11:21

socks1107 · 22/09/2025 10:54

I’m also in Kent and they do the commute. One to Greenwich the other to central London nowhere have had any issues

Show quote history

Thank you- I feel happier knowing there are people doing this! 😊👍

OP posts:
mrssquidink · 22/09/2025 11:45

DS is also at UCL and has lived out all three years (he’s just gone into his third year), we decided this was for the best for all parties. But we are in the lucky position of being able to cover his rent. His girlfriend and at least one of his friends are living at home this year (zone 3/4). So it’s not uncommon to commute.

SteelCityRose · 22/09/2025 12:11

Your DS will be happier being true to his self. At 18 people are eager to fit in and worry about being judged as not being enough eg fun, grown up, having the so called Uni experience etc.
I would say, based on my DS’s experiences that it depends on who they share their accommodation with.
Year1 stayed in Halls on a corridor for 10, all party people. DS more sporty than party but forced himself to join in. He stuck it out but it was tough on him and I don’t think he was happy.
Year 2 shared a house which was better but then Covid struck so came home.
Year 3 abroad which he really enjoyed. Maybe because he had a Studio within the Halls. He loved it because he had his own kitchen/bathroom, but he also enjoyed being within the student hub.
He joined many societies, socials and travelled around sightseeing by using the excellent public transport network with his flatmates.
Year 4 returned from his year abroad and stayed at home as his cohort had mostly all graduated.
Masters stayed at home.
He's now just started his Grad Scheme and is living 200 miles away. He’s obviously older & more mature but he’s enjoying his Studio flat within a complex of young professionals. Again, he enjoys having his own space within a hub of like minded peers.

I just think there’s no right or wrong way. Concentrate on what makes them happier and they’ll thrive. Friends kids who stayed home & commuted full time don’t feel they missed out on socials etc (depending on parents not being overbearing I suppose) and they don’t have as much student debt.