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Original poster

Living at Uni Halls v Living at home

54 replies

cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 09:52

Hello,
Our son has just moved into Halls at UCL. It's a big contrast to where we live now. Living in London is very expensive. Has anyone been in the situation where their child has decided to move back home for the second year and commute in because if costs and finding It's not for them? I heard on a radio programme that more students are doing this. Be interested to hear anyone else's experiences. Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 12:53

SteelCityRose · 22/09/2025 12:11

Your DS will be happier being true to his self. At 18 people are eager to fit in and worry about being judged as not being enough eg fun, grown up, having the so called Uni experience etc.
I would say, based on my DS’s experiences that it depends on who they share their accommodation with.
Year1 stayed in Halls on a corridor for 10, all party people. DS more sporty than party but forced himself to join in. He stuck it out but it was tough on him and I don’t think he was happy.
Year 2 shared a house which was better but then Covid struck so came home.
Year 3 abroad which he really enjoyed. Maybe because he had a Studio within the Halls. He loved it because he had his own kitchen/bathroom, but he also enjoyed being within the student hub.
He joined many societies, socials and travelled around sightseeing by using the excellent public transport network with his flatmates.
Year 4 returned from his year abroad and stayed at home as his cohort had mostly all graduated.
Masters stayed at home.
He's now just started his Grad Scheme and is living 200 miles away. He’s obviously older & more mature but he’s enjoying his Studio flat within a complex of young professionals. Again, he enjoys having his own space within a hub of like minded peers.

I just think there’s no right or wrong way. Concentrate on what makes them happier and they’ll thrive. Friends kids who stayed home & commuted full time don’t feel they missed out on socials etc (depending on parents not being overbearing I suppose) and they don’t have as much student debt.

Hi,
I feel better for hearing your son's experience. Our son has got a medical condition and is quiet and not a party animal. I think he's still getting to know the other students on the same floor as him. I think we'll have to see how the next few weeks go and how much he comes home. I think the friendships he forms will be pivotal and if he manages to get some part time work.
I'm encouraged by your son's journey.
I think our son may decide to come home if it's not for him and travel in as he's realising the cost implications of it all. It is as you say whatever makes them happy and thrive that is Important 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 12:57

Mydadsbirthday · 22/09/2025 10:56

We are in North London - it's very normal for students to live out down the first year and move back home and commute for second year, from what I've seen from friends and relatives' children. My DH did similar and moved back into town for his final year.

Thank you for sharing that- it makes me feel a lot better! 😊👍

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Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 13:11

2chocolateoranges · 22/09/2025 11:01

We live near quite a few amazing universities and most of dds school friends and even uni friends live at home. If people are trying to keep costs down then it’s wise to live at home.

dd doesn’t feel she has missed out on anything, she has an amazing social life, her uni is a 20 minute drive from the house or 40 minutes on the bus. If they have nights out in the city centre they just book a room at a travel lodge as it’s cheaper than a taxi. She doesn’t have to cook or fend for herself and was able to keep her part time job to see her through uni.

Am pleased to hear that. Our son is still trying to get a job so that will have a big impact on how he'll manage in the next few weeks/months.
I don't think the social aspect is so important to him currently. I did listen to a radio programme which was discussing that more Uni students are living at home and I can see why now.

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Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 13:17

turkeyboots · 22/09/2025 11:03

You miss traditional student life and milestones staying at home, but that suits some. I live near Dublin where student accommodation is both expensive and extremely hard to get, so anyone who can commute does.
DD friends are closest to those they share a commute with, social life is limited in order to make the last bus and student unions report student societies are in trouble due to falling membership.

Yes, I can see both sides of the argument. I think we'll have a better idea once term starts and we'll be open to looking at all other options if it's not working out 🤔

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Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 13:25

mrssquidink · 22/09/2025 11:45

DS is also at UCL and has lived out all three years (he’s just gone into his third year), we decided this was for the best for all parties. But we are in the lucky position of being able to cover his rent. His girlfriend and at least one of his friends are living at home this year (zone 3/4). So it’s not uncommon to commute.

Thank you- I think it's good to hear your situation. I think that some of this depends on whether he can get a job and how he feels about the accommodation in the next few weeks. Early days at the mo 😊

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WombatChocolate · 24/09/2025 18:04

I thinks it’s v common for those from a commutable distance to live in Halls in first year to get the student experience and establish friendships, to then live back at home and commute in for at least the 2nd year.
By then they’ve got friends and can crash at theirs if they need to, but mostly go home. Yes, commuting is tough but many London students travel a fair distance to accommodation anyway. The cost savings are big and the support of a comfortable home can count for a lot.

What you’re thinking of is v normal.

blizymitzy · 24/09/2025 19:12

Dd is at kings and in her second year .
we were surprised how many of her course commute in ,it’s incredibly common.
dd lived out in student accommodation first year and was lucky in that she has made lovely friends from her accommodation ( only 1 from her flat ) and they are living together as a 4 this year .
our girl is an incredible home body and came home very frequently in first year ( Home Counties) but she has grown up so much living in halls and she is really happy with her new flat .
she isn’t into clubbing or much of a drinker but she’s loving second year.
hope your ds finds his feet as I know how worrying this stage is.

blizymitzy · 24/09/2025 19:14

I forgot to say that the plan was for her to live at home years 2&3 as she loves home so much but by Christmas of first year she had changed her mind as she was loving living out.
we are lucky in that we can cover her accommodation costs though .

CeciCC · 24/09/2025 19:27

Hi. My daughter is in her 3rd year at UCL. First year she stayed at Halls met lots of people and had a great time. 2nd year, she lived at home and commuted (45 minutes to 1 hour door to door)As she had lots of friends already, she had plenty of places to stay overnight if she was going out. This year, she is renting with a friend. They got their flat keys a last week. She is supper excited to be living in London. Her flat is very central, 20 minutes walk to class.expensive.. yes.. but that is the reason she stayed at home during 2nd year, so she could save money. This was her choice.

MeganM3 · 24/09/2025 19:30

The special thing about university is living away from home and finding yourself. Finding your friends. Discovering freedom and all the fun that comes with it. The academic stuff is important, but second to that.
I would encourage my DC to move into halls for first year of uni, despite the cost.

Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 24/09/2025 22:30

WombatChocolate · 24/09/2025 18:04

I thinks it’s v common for those from a commutable distance to live in Halls in first year to get the student experience and establish friendships, to then live back at home and commute in for at least the 2nd year.
By then they’ve got friends and can crash at theirs if they need to, but mostly go home. Yes, commuting is tough but many London students travel a fair distance to accommodation anyway. The cost savings are big and the support of a comfortable home can count for a lot.

What you’re thinking of is v normal.

Thank you- yes I can see that makes sense. I think we'll have to see how the first year works out and we're more than happy if he chooses to move back home.

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Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 24/09/2025 22:45

blizymitzy · 24/09/2025 19:12

Dd is at kings and in her second year .
we were surprised how many of her course commute in ,it’s incredibly common.
dd lived out in student accommodation first year and was lucky in that she has made lovely friends from her accommodation ( only 1 from her flat ) and they are living together as a 4 this year .
our girl is an incredible home body and came home very frequently in first year ( Home Counties) but she has grown up so much living in halls and she is really happy with her new flat .
she isn’t into clubbing or much of a drinker but she’s loving second year.
hope your ds finds his feet as I know how worrying this stage is.

I have heard that a few students do end up getting a flat together in the second year and it can work out well providing people are clean and the landlord is reasonable.
I have no idea what he'll want to do in the second year. It's too early to tell yet. I am not sure how much he will come home yet,but hopefully in the holidays. We can go and see him too .Thanks for sharing your experience. We are happy as long as he's safe+ happy.

OP posts:
Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 24/09/2025 22:56

CeciCC · 24/09/2025 19:27

Hi. My daughter is in her 3rd year at UCL. First year she stayed at Halls met lots of people and had a great time. 2nd year, she lived at home and commuted (45 minutes to 1 hour door to door)As she had lots of friends already, she had plenty of places to stay overnight if she was going out. This year, she is renting with a friend. They got their flat keys a last week. She is supper excited to be living in London. Her flat is very central, 20 minutes walk to class.expensive.. yes.. but that is the reason she stayed at home during 2nd year, so she could save money. This was her choice.

That's an interesting way of doing things. I really don't know how it will work out until he gets a job. We're keeping an open mind about it. I think he will do a year abroad so we're just seeing how the first year pans out and what he feels most comfortable with after that.

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MarchingFrogs · 02/10/2025 11:16

MeganM3 · 24/09/2025 19:30

The special thing about university is living away from home and finding yourself. Finding your friends. Discovering freedom and all the fun that comes with it. The academic stuff is important, but second to that.
I would encourage my DC to move into halls for first year of uni, despite the cost.

Getting on for six decades ago, my aunt and uncle took exactly the opposite view with one of my cousins and insisted that she commuted (to KCL) rather than moving out. Mercifully from somewhere not a totally horrendous journey into London, but my mum - who did not approve of her sister and BIL's stance - told me that said cousin had told her that although she would never tell her parents this, she felt that this was something for which she couldn't actually forgive them.

@cadburyflakefan if your DS is considering moving back home during the current avademic year, get him to check the Ts&Cs for his accommodation, as he may have to continue paying for the whole of the rental period, unless he can find someone to take over his room.

Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 02/10/2025 12:19

MarchingFrogs · 02/10/2025 11:16

Getting on for six decades ago, my aunt and uncle took exactly the opposite view with one of my cousins and insisted that she commuted (to KCL) rather than moving out. Mercifully from somewhere not a totally horrendous journey into London, but my mum - who did not approve of her sister and BIL's stance - told me that said cousin had told her that although she would never tell her parents this, she felt that this was something for which she couldn't actually forgive them.

@cadburyflakefan if your DS is considering moving back home during the current avademic year, get him to check the Ts&Cs for his accommodation, as he may have to continue paying for the whole of the rental period, unless he can find someone to take over his room.

Show quote history

Thank you- good point! 🤔

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lilproblem · 02/10/2025 12:24

I went to UCL and I think it’s vital as a fresher you live there tbh. So much socialising goes on on campus, you will be popping back home for lunch, out at night…what course is he doing?

Bufftailed · 05/10/2025 17:11

Watching this thread with interest. We are commutable to London unis and DC year 12 seems to be thinking more of London than elsewhere. His school zone 2/3 interestingly sends around half the cohort to London unis and I guess vast majority of those stay at home. I’m trying to be entirely neutral although I have said no point living out in London, he’d be better going elsewhere if he wants to do that..Happy for him to stay at home, but would worry about social side…if a lot are commuting maybe not so bad.

Skybluepinky · 05/10/2025 17:18

Loads of home students commute to London due to costs as prices are aimed at rich international students.

Bufftailed · 05/10/2025 17:33

Skybluepinky · 05/10/2025 17:18

Loads of home students commute to London due to costs as prices are aimed at rich international students.

Do you think a good uni social life still possible 🤔

socks1107 · 05/10/2025 19:06

Both my daughters chose London unis and commuted/commute.
one has just graduated and feels no different to anyone else, great experience and a first alongside a healthy savings balance and experience of the journey she now takes to work.
the other is in year 2 and still happy, god experience, again had building savings and has a social life and good attitude to uni and home.

it’s been a win for my girls and they have thrived. Commuting into London is done by many of their peers so it’s normal

Bufftailed · 05/10/2025 19:36

socks1107 · 05/10/2025 19:06

Both my daughters chose London unis and commuted/commute.
one has just graduated and feels no different to anyone else, great experience and a first alongside a healthy savings balance and experience of the journey she now takes to work.
the other is in year 2 and still happy, god experience, again had building savings and has a social life and good attitude to uni and home.

it’s been a win for my girls and they have thrived. Commuting into London is done by many of their peers so it’s normal

This is really reassuring - thanks

Jjjhv · 05/10/2025 21:23

cadburyflakefan · 22/09/2025 10:50

I can see why your daughter made that decision. We live in Kent so the commute would take an hour and abit. Our son hasn't got a job yet,but is applying for one. It's a big transition. I think the other students on his floor are nice but he's still settling in and it will become clearer once his lectures start. He's got a medical condition to deal with too.We will see what the next few weeks are like. You don't know until you give it ago I guess. Appreciate you sharing your experience 😊👍

Show quote history

I knew people who commuted from Kent to London for uni. It's a bit far but manageable. Saves a lot of money as well.

Original poster
cadburyflakefan · 05/10/2025 21:29

lilproblem · 02/10/2025 12:24

I went to UCL and I think it’s vital as a fresher you live there tbh. So much socialising goes on on campus, you will be popping back home for lunch, out at night…what course is he doing?

He's doing History and is getting on well so far. I can see that it's good to be closer for fresher's week etc 😊

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lilproblem · 07/10/2025 19:49

That was my course. Problem with history is you only have about 6 hours of lectures a week. Not much socialising time unless you make friends that you get to the stage where you’re messaging each other before and after to meet up. So living out is better imo. Not like medicine or law where you’re constantly in your faces all day and night and you can’t help but get close.

troobadorr · 07/10/2025 21:39

@cadburyflakefan my ds was at UCL.He lived in halls in first year, then rented with friends from his hall in second year, then lived at home for the final year. We're about 70 min commute away.

He enjoyed his year renting with friends and was lucky to get somewhere very close to uni for £900pcm, but that was unusual - a lot of his friends ended up at least 30 mins away or paying higher rents.

UCL lectures end before Easter, with only exams after Easter, so he decided it wasn't worth him paying for a whole year's rental in the final year.

Sometimes in the final year he would watch the lectures remotely rather than going in. But he still socialised - he stayed over with friends a lot after nights out.

Most UCL students seem to have jobs - a lot have bar jobs.