I would like you're honest opinions on this, it's a bit of a mixed thread to be honest.

[AmIBeingPetty]

Not sure where to post this, so decide here would be a good start.

After 3 incidents that happened over the weekend, I am deciding whether to stay with DH or not. I HAVE changed my name as the details are so unique they would out me in a second if anyone knows me.

Other things are going on in my life which are quite major and I feel they could be clouding my judgement, so, until things on that level calm down (a month on one level, longer on the other), I am taking things with DH day to day and not making any rash decisions, he understands he was in the wrong and acknowledges why I am thinking like this. And for the time being until I know what I want to happen there will be no bedroom action.

I have decided today to cook a nice meal for us tonight, bearing in mind my dh is a very fussy eater, what do you think of the following:

Breaded garlic mushrooms for starter

Southern fried chicken with fresh salad and home made french dressing along with fresh crusty bread

Followed by syrup sponge and custard.

I have got a nice expensive rose wine that is ideal with salads and desserts etc too, that is chilling in the freezer.

I've got a comedy film to watch, going to light candles and curl up and watch this.

Is this ok? Am I making a big enough effort?

Yes, am not sure what you're asking either? The food sounds very nice and if he is a fussy bugger, he better appreciate it nonetheless!! (esp given he is just out of the bad books)

Maybe you're wondering if you are going to too much effort given that you are not going through a great patch just now and that he has done something to piss you off recently? Should it be him making the effort? Just guessing.....

Agree with cat - it's really dependent upon what you & your dh enjoy. Wouldn't esp suit dh (apart from the sponge ) but does sound to me quite like classic bloke food, iykwim.
Imo, any three course meal = effort!

Sorry for being vague.

They are all his favourite foods etc.

I am just wanting it to be a gesture that I haven't ''given up'' up on our relationship just yet

He does need to pull his socks up and make one hell of an effort, but, he is working very very long hours for the next few weeks which is a godsend, gives us time 'apart' when I can think and pootle about etc.

Do you mind me asking why he needs to make an effort? Is it to do with the "incidents" at the weekend?

Well in that case, in any case, you're making a fab effort and I hope it all goes well

Best of luck.

This post has got me laughing - you are wondering whether to stay with him or not, and now you are cooking a massive meal/romantic evening for him.

Its a lovely thought and the food sounds yummy, but its making me think that the things he did were along the lines of:

Incident 1: Your DH left the toilet seat up.

Incident 2: Your DH did not load the dishwasher properly.

Incident 3: You and your DH have had an arguement over DIY.

Sorry, I don't mean to diminish what may be a hard time, but he has upset you, nookie has been banned, yet you are cooking a massive meal with wine.

I think you are sending mixed messages tbh

I am making an effort becuase I want him to know that I've not given up on us totally.

Incidents were a HELL of alot worse purpleduck

If it was a hell of a lot worse then i would be expecting him to make the effort tbh not you

If incidents were worse then he should be making all effort imo
If you cook a special romantic meal for him and reassure him you arent giving up on him then its telling him you arent too upset over what he did..even if you say otherwise!

Ummm, he's ballsed up and you are making a supreme effort?????

Why are you doing this?

Ypou can't make him respect you this way, which I fear is what you are subconciosuly trying to do.

If you feel he deserves it and it's about drawing a line and having some special time together again: cook together.

If he has done something serious enough for you to be considering leaving him then why the hell are you making the effort to cook a romantic meal? Surely he should be the one making an effort?

Sounds good but tbh I wouldn't make southern friend chicken as it involves deep frying and that will leave an awful stink in the house that will rob you of an intimate romantic mood.

some pie with some humbles in it. simples

Agree with hobgoblin.

Not sur why you are making all the effort when he is the one who's in the wrong.

I agree with the others - it's very odd that you are going to all this effort when he is the one who has to put the effort in, due t these incidents.

Yes, he is working long hours - which gives you a perfect oportunity to demnstrate to him what life will be like if he does not put the effort in - i.e. by coming home to no dinner on the table after a long day at work.

Oh god, this is a pisstake isn't it?

Just reread OP to see if there were any inuendos in there but can't see any ?

Thats what I was wondering overmy...or is it deadbody??? It doesn't really make sense. Petty, are you showing him the works, he thinks he's "in there", you refuse the goods, giving you the upper hand?

I think it all sounds confusing.

Would love some of that chicken though

Are the breaded mushrooms from scratch, or shop bought?

Petty, which details are so unique that you had to name change for this thread? Was it the breaded mushrooms, or perhaps the crusty bread served with the Southern Fried chicken rather than chips?