Grazing tables - my anxiety is rising even to type these words!

[thankyouforthedayz]

Does anyone else feel anxious at the prospect of a grazing table? All that food; all rammed together and TOUCHING. What on earth do the remains look like after being stripped by the vultures? Ive never been to one, but my friend from work specialises in them and is threatening to invite us all round to imbibe. I'm already running for the hills.

Allergies and cross contamination?

It's OK I realize that. I would only do a grazing board for us where there are no allergies, or if DD is with us I would just do a vegetarian one. I think it is a minefield doing one for the general public.

A pub near us does grazing boards to share between 2, 4 or 6 people, but you know beforehand what it entails, so if it isn't suitable you just wouldn't order one.

The use of the word "grazing" to refer to a meal sets my teeth on edge even before I think about what's on the table.

You would if you had allergies.

It's really not. All that food spread about, on an unhygienic surface, with people reaching in with their hands. Disgusting.

And I'm not generally a germphobe!

In my experience, a normal buffet would still have tongs or some sort of serving utensil, so they are generally more hygienic on that count.

Being vegetarian, this sort of thing doesn't appeal to me anyway.

It looks tacky and I somehow can't see this trend continuing for much longer.

Slices of cheap chorizo rolled up to look like fannies next to hacked about kiwi fruits and hard brie.

Sweet Holy Jeez🤣🤣🤣

To misquote Joey, "ham GOOD, brownies GOOD".

🤣🤣

I also hate these. They are so unappetising, unless you're sharing with your dp / kids maybe. But anyone else...no thanks.

It isn't necessarily rational to feel this way I realise! It's definitely a psychological barrier. They do not make me want to eat at all

There are whole facebook groups dedicated to these. One is called Charcuterie Boards or something, and a post popped up on my feed the other day with the poster saying 'Very proud of this charcuterie board I made with my son.' I thought 'Charcuterie? Where is the charcuterie? Surely not mixed up with all those sweet things?' And upon closer inspection I realised that the entire board was made up of fruit, chocolates and cakes. No meat or anything savoury.

Several people obviously wondered the same thing, because when I read the comments it turned out that the woman thought the phrase charcuterie board meant just arranging stuff attractively on a board. She had no idea what charcuterie actually was.

Veggie here, wouldn't be something I'd touch. And I'm fairly relaxed about meat (cook it for DH and the kids), handle it etc.

What always worries me is how long it's all been sat there whilst being arranged....

I think even the Stone Age people had their own stone bowl to eat from.

(Although I'll admit I'm not a historian nor an archaeologist, this statement is purely based on an episodes of The Flintstones')

I think they are horrible germ factories with everybody touching all the food to take whatever they want.
Also would not want to eat food which has been next to meat as I am vegetarian.
To be honest I never eat buffet food either as people might have touched or coughed over things. Ditto bakery stuff in shops where people help themselves.
I have emetophobia and OCD so I am more cautious than most.

All that overlapping😬 It's the thought of people's fingers peeling away at the corner of the ham or the smoked salmon or whatever, trying to access something underneath. Then nudging other stuff out of the way with their slimy fingers🤢

I love them. I don't care about food touching, or other people touching the food.

I think you could be right. Style over substance. They must take hours and hours to prepare, by which time the ham has gone dry and warm, and the crackers have gone soggy, having been piled up next to some oily olives or wet grapes. I appreciate that they are arranged for optimum aesthetics, but they are not arranged practically for eating. All that mingling of wet and dry, sweet and savoury is not ideal.

I took a whole pineapple off one once. It was rotten :(

Gross

I have seen something much worse online, where people cover their tables with foil or plastic and chuck dinner on it. So a big pile of pasta and sauce or nachos in a pile for everyone to tuck in to.

Yes I've seen that. It'll be Americans, I suppose. I'm guessing their weird love affair with paper plates and plastic disposable cutlery has become too much like hard work, so they'd rather just roll up a giant piece of clingfilm at the end of each meal and dump it in the bin instead.

Watching Americans dishing up family meals onto disposable plates always irritates the fuck out of me.

It wouldn't bother me tbh, but it's a bit odd. I can certainly understand why begans, vegetarians and people with allergies and intolerances wouldn't be keen!

I think they look revolting, even before anyone has had a go at it. Mind you, I'm not a huge fan of regular buffets either. People dashing to get to the front of the queue, piling their plates up as high as they can with no concern for others, touching things and putting them back. Yuk. Guaranteed to make me lose my appetite.

Not anxious. Excited 😛

Speak for yourself 😀

I've just used a mirror......

I'm a millennial and would be excited by this!