OMG I've created a custard monster!

[GipsyDanger]

Decided to make custard tonight, so I grab the custard powder in the cupboard and loosely follow the instructions.... What have I done?!? It tastes foul and I'm pretty sure I could lay bricks with it. It doesn't even LOOK like custard! It's the wrong colour and everything.

there are no words

I love custard, I'd still eat it!

From the title I thought you had a child like mine who would do anythibg for that sweet custardy goodness. She would not eat that abomination.

Why the hell did you even taste that?!

The spoon stays upright when I stab it

Well, it said make a paste out of the powder milk and sugar... I have no sugar so I thought sweeteners would work, hence having to taste it

Sweetners are evil, I once made porridge and had to use sweetner - never tasted anything so disgusting!

Have you tried adding more milk to it a bit at a time? Isn't that what you're supposed to do?

That is with milk added, it looked like melted cheese when I first took it out the microwave... It was watsit orange

I once tried to sieve lumps out of custard while the in laws were sat waiting for dessert. The bastard lumps reformed on the other side of the sieve

Too much custard powder would be my guess! DH likes his custard thick and it went like that when I over did the powder!

Its just sitting there in the kitchen. Judging me.

My dh has taken the spoon and powder and put it on the top cupboard where I can't reach. For the best really

Dh says I'm barred "For the atrocities done to custard"

I'd say it's dead! I suspect cause of death was too much power, not enough milk and insufficient stirring.

Went to bin it and it came out in one go, molded to the shape of the bowl.

I always buy ready made custard, I've never managed to get the powdered version to work for me. I'm a good (but grudging and bad-tempered) cook, but some of the simplest things are beyond me. I can't soft boil an egg, it's either still almost raw or hard boiled. I can't make a sponge cake. One of my friends helped me with my sponge issues, I used her recipe, in her kitchen and she supervised me the entire time and the sponge still came out flat as a pancake in the middle. And I can't make custard from powder (although I can successfully make it from scratch, weird).

Jesus woman! How much powder/milk dis you use?

black I've always said that I'm not a bad cook, just an inventive cook

That's good, definitely stick with that response.

Was there a tsp/tbsp mix up?

I'm struggling to imagine what the instructions said that meant you made that.