what is the WORST dinner party/meal out thing you have ever had

[ireallyagreewithyou]

we havent been too unlucky. although one weekend sticks in my mind.
us - young workers no kids
invited to
them - urban folk moved to cuntry with small kids
we drive for HOURS to get a BOWL OF SOUP as tea.
then have to go to local village shitty beer fest in freezing tent.
then in the morning they let their kids wake us up " to get practice in"

THANKS

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Some relatives we used to go and see when I was a kid. This was pre-motorway so at least a two hour round trip, maybe twice a year. In all the time we went there, we were never offered a hot meal once, just 'paste sandwiches', a glass of squash and a biscuit.

I think "cuntry" may be one of my favorite spelling mistakes

That would be when newly engaged, invited to DH's old school friend's home and the wife grilled me over a starter of an "unloosened" half a grapefruit! I managed both rather well, with the grapefruit and the account of myself! It was time consuming, maybe that was her plan?

starter

Peanut butter and marmite patties

Main

cheese on toast
baked beans
brussel sprouts

Dessert

unripe gooseberries
evap milk

Was on the loo for weeks !

Brain fritters.

Made as a special treat in honour of my visit.

I swallowed without chewing, smiled, praised, and graciously refused seconds.

My mum would have been proud of me

PrettyCandles Yes, my mum would have been proud of me too, good point!

An "authentic" curry that was just chicken on the bone in some sort of very weak stock.

Followed by a warm out of date yoghurt

Nice

Visiting an old school colleague (not 'friend, mind!) who'd tracked me down on the other side of the world via Friend Reunited but she felt the fact we'd been at the same British school in the same year and were now living in the same continent made us perfect friendship material.

Her house was a pig sty, 3 inches of toys strewn over every floor, used, crusted plates scattered amongst it; a small girl in grubby knickers had been sitting on the kitchen bench and was shoo'ed off in order for the food to be chopped up on it, unwiped; The table was half cleared of detritus (one sweep of an arm) to be 'laid, but it was positively sticky and smeared with previous meals.

Dinner was 'stew' of only just cooked meat and watery veg- and her DDs after helping themselves first, licked off the serving spoon before placing it back in the serving dish.

Throughout, her slobby, vile DH made suggestive and sexist remarks.

Heave.

our hosts were gushing about how much work they had put in
they served up:
no starter/nibbly bits - not even a bowl o'nuts
ASDA pork joint thing in foil tray. It was to serve 4. There were 6 of us. And one of them was DH who has famously hollow legs and counts double for that purpose
"roast" potatoes that were raw in the middle.
soft carrots.
ADSA apple pie to serve 4. No cream/custard.

we got kebabs on the way home.

Anyone got a link to the Pombear thread?

I have 2 meals which stand out in my mind.

The first was a dinner party at a friend of my husband's. The friend was newly married, and his new wife decided he needed to be on a diet. So we all had a microscopic portion of fish boiled in milk till it was rubbery served without sauce on a bed of plain boiled rice. With water to drink. That was all. The husband looked very embarrassed but his wife kept telling him he needed to make amends for his years of rich food (possibly served up by me!) They're divorced now.

The second was a meal with my father's new wife's family in a very foreign country. I was not expecting to be a guest of honour, I was actually there with work and was subjected to a kind of friendly abduction by the family. They served me the most enormous pile of grisly goat curry and then all stood round smiling and nodding at me as I politely chewed and gulped it down. Not eating it was not an option, as the amount of meat on my plate was probably enough for the whole family of 10 for a week. Knowing that I was going out to a well-known all-you-can-eat restaurant in only hours with my work colleagues, I smiled with slightly distressed polite thanks as I finished the plate, only to be served up seconds..... No one else was eating.

An awful dinner at my Mum's . She'd made lasagne, with mince and green beans, layered with pasta sheets. No tomato based sauce with the mince (ie not a bolagnese type thing, just dry mince). No cheese sauce, just a thin scattering of parmesan on the top. And she cooked it in advance and reheated it when DH and I arrived in the evening. NEVER had to put as much tomato ketchup on a meal to make it remotely edible.

And a dreadful meal out on honeymoon in Canada. teak restaurant (DH's choice) but I wasn't keen on steak then, so I chose the chicken salad. This turned out to be a ball of mashed potato (done with an ice cream scoop by the look of it) and a similar ball of minced up chicken mixed with mayonnaise, to give it the same consistency as the potato, served on a bed of shredded iceberg lettuce.

Tea at my best schoolfriend's house consisted of boiled chicken that was still pink-ish with home-made chips that were black but slimy on the outside and raw in the middle, with cabbage that had been boiled for about an hour. And tapioca pudding for afters, which I utterly, utterly hate but they all loved.

Not the worst meal in the world, I grant you, but I'd never sit through it again. I had the sort of mother who drummed it into me that you eat everything on your plate when you're at a friend's house, so I had to chew my way through the lot, attempting to smile cheerfully at the same time. No mean feat for an 8 year old.

Brilliant! Live the ice cream scoop chicken

getting on this thread as it's going to continue to be hilarious, but already feeling a bit at tales of undercooked meat

Boyfriend and I got up early (SW London) to travel to Hackney via public transport. Arrived at friends, to have to wake them up.

They had an open plan kitchen/living area, so there were no secrets!

Starter - stuffed eggs. Hard boiled eggs. Yolks mashed up with Shippams fish paste.

Main - roast lamb. But lamb was put in so late that it was still virtually raw by the time we were supposed to eat it.

I have no idea what veg we had or if we had pudding. I think I was probably pissed by then.

What it left me with was the abiding question - why invite people round if you a) really can't cook
b) are not interested in cooking

I would like to say the food doesn't matter, it's the company etc etc just to prove I'm not shallow... but.... one "dinner party" sticks in my mind... this couple had a good income (before you say "maybe they were struggling to make ends meet... ) and were vegetarian (of the no meat, but happy to eat fish at everyone else's dinner party variety.... )
Starter:mushroom soup
Main:mushroom rissotto
Dessert:rice pudding
I KID YOU NOT... they'd never have passed O'level Domestic Science with that menu!!!

DH and I were eating out. Menu described item delightfully, was supposed to be Peppers stuffed with Butternut Squash, Asparagus and Goat's Cheese, served on a bed of Fettucine.

What I actually got was extremely oily lukewarm pasta, Pepper stuffed with a single piece of squash and one sad looking french bean, and greasy mozzarella cheese. I asked for a copy of the menu and politely pointed out the discrepancies to the waitress ('that's actually a bean, not asparagus, and not goat's cheese'). They were out of goat's cheese. She offered to get me the asparagus. Came back with some boiled-to-death asparagus. Tried it, called waitress back over.

'You might want to let your chef know, they're supposed to break the woody ends off first'

'Oh I think they always do it like this'

Riiiiiiiggggghhhhhhttttt.

That was the last time we went to this particular chain.

YanknCock - that's unbelievable!! BUT you have just given me inspiration for a starter for next weekend. Here's hoping I can make it like you imagined it, rather than as you experienced it!!!

It was the single bean that made it so memorable. To this day, every time we have french beans, DH says 'oh look, asparagus!' and we have a little snigger.

Many decades ago, we used to go round to friends of ours ( a couple) who used to cook the shittest dinners ever. They didn't have an oven, but 2 rings and a kitchen top grill thing. Well OK, we were students and none of us had much money then so fair enough.
ExP was a fussy eater and always struggled, but to be honest the food was just horrible and hardly any of it. This one day we were on her way, about an hour away, and ExP started crying and saying she couldn't take it any more, feeling so hungry and then a crap AND small dinner so to cheer us both up, we went for fish and chips and mushy peas, the full monty.
When we got there, they had cooked up a sumptuous feast, loads and loads of lovely stuff we both enjoyed.
Couldn't eat a thing, and had to pretend we had DV the day before