since my kids dont eat, i have decided not to make meals for them

[badmom]

title says it all really. after throwing away hundreds of pounds worth of food, not to mention the effort involved in making it, and the stress of the negative interaction, i have decided to let them go hungry if that is what they prefer.

after school today, asked them if they wanted pasta, or cheese sandwichs. the sandwichs they said. dc1 ate 3/4 of it. dc2 ate only the cheese, and dc3 refused to have it, and had a bottle of milk instead. thats all they have eater, other than the haribo sweets their dad brought back from work for them.
at breakfast i had to literally hold the cup up to their mouthss to get them to have some milk, as i thought that two bites of toast werent enough.
so shoot me down in flames. i have myself just had a gorgeous poached salmon with steamed veg, and homemade bread meal. give me a reason to continue spending time, effort and money on trying to feed my kids nutritious meals when they reject it all.........

Good Idea if you ask me. Never been brave enough (cant stand the whinging)I Continue to serve 3x uneaten meals a day.

god, i thought all of you were going to kill me. thats why ive changed my name as too embarassed.

Because - you just will continue trying because you, despite your name, are obviously not a badmom

Don't worry about it. I do it with my ds. If he doesn't want to eat then I am not going to force him.
Console yourself with the fact that they will be able to judge when they are hungry or not and will not end up overeating.
All I would suggest is to vary the food you offer so they don't get stuck in the routine of eating the same things all the time.

thank you carmen. thats a very nice thing to say, as i feel like a shiite one right now.

i do it too. some days i know they wont eat, they come hoe all well, 'bleugh' and dont want to eat or drink. so they get sandwiches and i eat after they are in bed.

Dont let daddy bring them home sweets unless they have had something your happy with though BM

I do that but it's boiled eggs instead of sandwiches.

I know exactly how you feel about wasting so much time, money and energy on cooking nice meals. DH is always on that they need to eat more veg...HA! you bloody cook it all then becauise they won't eat it.

I don't cook for my two either, and haven't done for many months. I like really nice food, and think I am a fairly decent cook. But dh is a bodybuilder and eats different food at different times to everyone else, and dd is very fussy. So they get a lot of "salady" meals. These are healthy, they enjoy them, and they are easy. They get cheese or a meat like ham, with a piece of bread, and salad (usually pepper, cucumber, tomatoes and carrots). I don't feel stressed because it's not very much effort, and they eat a healthy meal. I usually specify a minimum for dd to eat before she gets pudding, or to do anything nice, and sometimes she sits at the table for a looong time. Now they are both at school I am hoping to get dd to eat school dinners, so she has one hot meal a day. Oh, and if they stay with my mother they eat virtually everything she puts down in front of them...

my god, im not alone.......

no, you're not.....so will you be changing your name back now?

yes, i will, dd woke up so got a bit sidetracked their.

is me, and as you all know, i have no control over what dh brings the kids. and he does like to discuss my shortcomings as a person.
hence guilty and needign reassurance

no you not alone, my dd has tea in the true sense of the word some days. Dd has a cooked lunch at school and im told she eats well, maybe! If shes not hungry i give her boiled eggs,sandwiches,toast or cereal, sometimes i cook chicken and rice or cauliflower cheese. Ive decided to follow her lead and stop stressing.

Good idea badmom. I wish more people would follow your example. They'll come round when they're hungry enough. Kids won't starve themselves.

stitch i think it's a great strategy and i'm sure they will eat better (when the are hungry as a result). nothing to beat yourself up over whatsoever imo.

thats what i think but then i hear about some of the awful stuff in the news, and i think it sounds like me.#
for example in the fizzy drinks in school thread someone mentioned about school dinners being important because 'not all kids go home to a nutritious cooked meal'
and from when i was teaching, i remember that even on halfdays, school still offered lunch, for precisely this reason.
also, stupid family, well in laws and dh are always going on about how skinny kids are and should go get the doctor to put them on pills to make them eat. hence all the guilt.

They eat lunch at school presumably (or at least have the opportunity to) so sandwiches, milk and fruit is fine (I mean to offer) and if they don't eat it, then Ok. Just, as others say, vary what you offer, but keep it simple so if they refuse it, it's not so frustrating and upsetting. I don't much care about chucking a cheese and tomato sandwich in the bin.

thank you all, im going to listen to you guys now, not blooody in laws, or dh.

Blimey, you should see my kids if you want skinny.

I'm being deadly serious here but DS3 has the exact shape as those starving kiddies we all see in the news in many 3rd world countries.

He's all ribs, then a huge bloated belly with gangly arms and legs.

DS1 has a sixpack because there isn't a ounce of fat on him.

stitch - today mine had sandwiches for lunch (ds1 at school on packed lunch). Except they barely ate the sandwiches but ate the grapes, raisins, cereal bar and mini jaffa cakes. When ds1 got in from school he was starving so he asked for an apple which both he and ds2 had, then they both had a banana, then they both had jam sandwiches, then they both had a muffin. That's it - that's all they've eaten.

Sometimes it's just easier not to bother. Every night this week I've cooked stuff - most nights I've coaxed and bribed to get food down them but last night I threw nearly all of it away.

I wouldn't feel bad if I were you. As long as they are eating a range of healthy foods (and the odd treat!) it doesn't matter if it's not hot dinners imo. Introduce a hot meal when you feel up to coping with it. By Friday night I cannot be arsed with the hassle so I don't bother!

So shoot me.

stich, my dd who is fussy and eats little is a strapping tall five year old - she looks about two years older than she is. ds who eats a ton is very skinny (also tall). I think that it's mostly genetics. One thing you can do to reassure yourself, although it's something I haven't done since ds was little and a poor eater, is to do a week's food diary. They may eat more than you think.

badmom - you sound pretty much at the end of your tether. get your dp to support you a bit and hold off on bringing home the haribo.

I would be wild if I was working myself to the bone to provide unnappreciated proper food, and dp took all the glory for stuffing them with haribo!

ladytophat, are you me? coz your kids sound like mine.
i like the food diary, it might help reassure me. will probly have to draw a blank with the school dinners though....

how come we all hear about the organic veg boxs on mn, but not this?