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Jurassic flop: Rebirth (spoilers)

29 replies

dimsiaradcymraeg · 02/07/2025 23:01

Huge JP fan and I’ve been waiting excitedly for this new update which promised to revisit and keep true to the Michael Crichton novel. How utterly disappointing.

The characters, the acting, the music, the plot. Don’t get me started on the mutant dinos. I can’t even begin to describe the level of awfulness. I’m not sure why it’s received the praise it has - very much as case of the emperors new clothes.

The only plus is that it makes Dominion seem so much better!

Rant over.

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thetorturedpoetsdepartmentssecretary · 02/07/2025 23:31

I've seen it this afternoon. It was awful! Not thought through, terrible acting, no suspense really. Usually the music builds the suspense, but it didn't. I was really looking forward to it too.

okydokethen · 02/07/2025 23:37

I loved it! Mostly because my DS was so excited, his enthusiasm was very endearing, but I thought the dinosaurs especially the water scenes were great. Teen DD (who is not a dino fan) also loved it.

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dimsiaradcymraeg · 02/07/2025 23:41

I honesty feel bad for people who have planned to watch it! It’s rushed and given no thought. I can’t believe Spielberg put his name to it.

It’s not clever or funny enough to be a B-Movie. Edward’s should have stuck to Godzilla and left the dinosaurs alone.

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dimsiaradcymraeg · 02/07/2025 23:43

That’s good to hear. We took our DC. They felt the same as me although they did like the ending with the alien dinosaur. I think they felt that part was a little like a horror without actually being a horror.

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fresh99 · 04/07/2025 10:05

It was awful! I thought it was going to be like the other JP films I wish I’d done my research a bit more and just sent dh and dc. An evening alone having a mammoth shaving session would have been more enjoyable.
I still don’t understand the beginning, was it Scarlett Johansen that watched the guy die behind the glass? What was the point of that scene? Why was it important it was 17 or so years ago? Why did the dad of the other family allow his daughter’s boyfriend to sail on a tiny boat with them? Surely it’s the last place you would want stuck with someone you didn’t like? Why at the start did SJ suddenly appear sat in the back of the guys car (this drives me mad in films!)
overall 2/10 and that’s only because I had some nice wine with me.

Sodthesystem · 04/07/2025 10:18

Can't say I'm surprised. None of the new ones have been good. But I decided I wouldn't see another after they turned Alan from a child-free person who knew his own mind and refused to bow to his girlfriend's manipulations and peer pressure into Mr 'oh I regret my choices I should have done what I didn't want to do just to get the girl'. Ick.

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dimsiaradcymraeg · 04/07/2025 18:57

Oh nice, a red or white? I wish I’d had something chilled - it might of helped!

I mean, that scene with the mars bar wrapper should have been a warning. I think it was meant to explain why the Island was unmanned (due to said mars wrapper) and why the mutant dinosaurs were running amok.

ScalJo just appeared in the car! Does she have super powers? How was she following him? If she’s that good, did she need a team to help get the blood samples. It makes no sense as a meet-cute.

Why did the Dad even decide that Ocean was safe to take his family? The waters around that island were no-gos so seems like a safe option to me!

In my opinion the JP movies don’t need a romantic twist. The subtle undertones in the first were pitch perfect. OG Alan absolutely would have known and stuck to his character. But, I actually love the other six movies. The only six movies. This latest one will never been counted.

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LetsGoFlyAKiteee · 05/07/2025 00:19

Haven't seen this yet..for those who have is it as bad as the last one?! Cause that was just dire

SpacedOutOut · 05/07/2025 06:20

We saw it last night and loved it! 🤷‍♀️

TFMinx · 05/07/2025 07:27

Oh no! I was planning on taking my 7yo dino obsessed son. He’s seen the others and really enjoyed them, I prefer the originals. Will I regret taking him? Sounds like he’ll be annoyed at the ‘fake dinosaurs’ 😬

guerdyguatd · 05/07/2025 07:29

I enjoyed it particularly the boat scenes & the raft/t rex. It was too long as most films are and dialogue was weak but I liked it.

guerdyguatd · 05/07/2025 07:32

It reminded me far more of the first film than the last few.

guerdyguatd · 05/07/2025 07:35

I can’t believe Spielberg put his name to it.

I thought it was very Spielberg. Scenes reminiscent of Jaws & Jonathan Bailey is Indiana Jones.

TaupeMember · 05/07/2025 07:38

Went with a few and we all loved it!

Was a proper monster genre movie. If the first one was all about the awe of seeing the dinosaurs, this was about how humans are prey around them!

Ii was almost constant action and the deaths were done so well!

Liked the characters too. Great effects.

TaupeMember · 05/07/2025 07:39

And yes too pp. It did have elements of jaws and Indiana Jones, a couple of us said the same

JustWhatWeDontNeed · 05/07/2025 07:44

It was atrocious.

When the girl was dragging that raft around in front of Oblivious Rex and it took ten sweet years to notice...

LetsGoFlyAKiteee · 05/07/2025 09:21

Mean from sounds least its about dinosaurs rather then bugs!

HEC2746 · 05/07/2025 17:37

I didn’t think it was that bad. DH complained there were no surprises but really, what do you expect from a JP movie? The plot was vaguely coherent, the acting wasn’t bad, and 8yo was hiding behind his hands in a good way at some points. It’s no classic but then nothing will be after the original film, there are certainly worse ways to spend 2 hours at the cinema.

youngestisapsycho · 05/07/2025 22:27

Just been to see… loved it!

SecondSeatontheleft · 06/07/2025 18:53

I enjoyed as it didn’t hark back a lot to the original films and the fact that it basically leaped straight into gear. It’s a shame there the dinosaurs were not as scary as I wanted in terms of jump scares but overall enjoyable.

Figgygal · 12/07/2025 16:08

I think what surprised me was how bad the CGI was - the titanosaurs looked like they'd come out of original bbc walking with dinosaurs

Was obvious all supporting characters were star trek red shirts and dino fodder.

The batteries in the torches found on island were working after 17 years?

What is wrong with actual dinosaurs? The best sequence was with the t-rex no fucking about with giving it wings or extra arms.

At least the last one had jeff goldblum.

I was bored by end. Total rubbish.

Yellowbirdcage · 12/07/2025 16:14

I thought it was fun. A bit like a video game with perils to pass. Levers to press. Gates to open.
Those kids were a bit annoying. Not as annoying as the whiny young one taking a ‘cute’ dinosaur as a pet and her dad saying nothing. Is that so they can sell cute baby dino merch?
Baffling scene for me was when that bloke fell off the massive cliff and landed in the water then crawled out and the others had already made it down the cliff!

Helpingabit · 12/07/2025 16:17

We went last night….

i am glad I saw at the cinema (even though it cost a stupid amount)

as I don’t think some of the noisy jumps would have been as scary at home from the telly .

to me it felt like a mash up of different clips from the previous films 🤷‍♀️

glad we went , it was enjoyable, but probably wouldn’t bother watching a second time

LadyWestStar · 12/07/2025 18:22

We’ve just been to see it and really enjoyed it. There was loads of action and perilous moments. The plot was a bit thin and the dad taking his kids in a small boat across the ocean was contrived, however overall it was better than expected. We did have low expectations though

ButtonMoonBlanketSky · 13/07/2025 00:39

Overall I enjoyed it. Stupid but fun. 2 things particularly irked - why was everyone all happy to be back in a boat at the end given the dinos in the sea? How much fuel would have been in the boat??? Also, we're told the dinosaurs can only survive in this little area so taking the cute baby dinosaur means it's surely doomed! The rest was of course entirely plausible 😂