Surrogacy thread on Reddit has boiled my blood

[User6gh]

I just can’t believe what I’m reading. The idea that it’s the birthday party invitation up for debate here and not the act of surrogacy shows how fecking wonky the world has gotten about these things. A few people in the comments arguing that surrogacy is wrong but it’s generally met with “SIL went into it willingly”. Most people actually just answering the question at hand.

@Helleofabore just in case you’re interested, it’s this image; page 22 of this: www.completefertility.co.uk/sites/complete/files/2022-11/Complete%20Fertility%20Price%20List%20Full%2011%20-%20FINAL.pdf

I think I am reading that right?

The discount is huge. Payment for egg donation in the uk is limited to £750 but discount for egg sharing will be several thousand pounds.

Another concern is how much women who are egg sharing are stimulated to produce multiple eggs. NICE guidelines for IVF are that drug dosages for ovarian stimulation should be kept as low as possible to produce the necessary number of eggs and to reduce the risk of ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome. Sometimes I take a look over on the infertility board and have seen several times that women are concerned they only produced a low number of eggs and others reassure them saying their consultant said "you only need one good egg" and luckily for them their one egg produced a baby. Because no one wants 20 babies so there is no need to produce 20 eggs. Unless a fertility clinic wants half of them.

My other concern is that, again, looking at the infertility board, women talk about the good quality eggs and egg grading. I have no idea about the science behind the grading of eggs, but how would anyone know (or trust) that the fertility clinic didn't cream off the best eggs and leave the egg sharing customer with the lower grade eggs?

I very much doubt it is tbh

Aita is notorious for fake stories and rage bait.

Hope it isn’t. It’s as flippant as talking about a missed parcel from Amazon. Disgusting entitled people.

Rage bait… do these people have jobs, lives or hobbies etc or not?

I am in the UK and I egg shared twice. I know that a male child was born to a woman from my donation.

I was not coerced into anything regards to my egg sharing. I had to attend counselling sessions before I was even considered for it and it was not a decision I was pushed into.

However, I can't believe that the Reddit post is real, surely no one can be that much of a c*nt.

There are numerous signs that this is not real and very logical explanations for which Reddit as a platform and fake content such as this bonds together.

Rockingcloggs

When you say you ‘egg shared’, do you mean your eggs were harvested for your own use and your donated to someone else?

If so, did you get a discount on your own treatment?

So, egg share is where you are anonymously 'matched' with a recipient ie a woman who for whatever reason cannot use her own eggs. You agree that the eggs that are collected after will be shared evenly between the recipient and yourself. Should no eggs be collected you have the option of another 'free' cycle, if a low number of eggs are collected you have options of either giving them all to your recipient or keeping them for yourself. At any point during the cycle you can change your mind.

Yes, egg sharing does reduce the costs for the woman 'sharing' her eggs, it is a benefit when you know that it is unlikely you will have a positive cycle on the first go.

My first cycle resulted in 14 eggs - so 7 each and a BFN for me, the second cycle resulted in 19, so 10 for me and 9 for my recipient. Again BFN for me but BFP for her!

It didn't actually reduce the cost that much for us because I have a lot of immune issues so the treatment for those were added onto the cost of a reduced IVF fees. I had 6 cycles altogether but only the first two were egg share cycles.

I am happy with my decision and I am also very proud that I helped a woman become a mother when otherwise she may not have been able to do so. There was absolutely no coercion.

I’d assume it’s fictional ragebait like 99% of AITA.

Thank you for answering.

Were you given treatment to maximise the number of eggs you produced?

@Helleofabore Absolutely not! The HFEA are incredibly strict in this country with regards to fertility treatment and my clinic would certainly not have increased the risk of OHSS. Indeed, a number of the women who I have met (both online and in real life through fertility forums) had their treatment stopped when over stimulating became even a small risk.

That is good to know. Thanks Rockingcloggs.