anyone around, could do with a virtual hug!

[memoo]

Day 2 of being on my own with my baby, struggling emotinally. Feel very and could do with a hug! very lonely and tearful

I'm here not sure how much use I'll be though!

What age is your baby?

I am sure you will get through this

Hi, she is nearly 8 months. Am being treated for PND and DH been off work ages but had to go back yesterday although just for half days!

Thanks for the hug

Memoo!

Lots of massive virtual MN hugs to you!!

Is this a newborn and you've just got home?? Or are you alone for other reasons?

If your LO is brand new, then congrats on becoming a fabulous mummy.

Its normal to feel tearful just after having a baby. Its the hormornal slush or rather the oestrogen levels fropping dramatically and making you feel argh!

From day 4 after DD was born I wept buckets for about a week - anything and I do mean anything would set me off! Even someone asking me if I wanted a cup of tea would have me weeping.

It wears off within a week or so (for a lucky few its just a couple of days) however if it doesn't wear off, get yourself checked out but hang on in there.

Its hugely emotional to have a baby - I massively underestimated that.

Don't feel sad, have a nice cup of tea (and some jaffa cakes!! My fave buscuit postnatally - refreshed the parts other confectionary couldn't) and look at your beautiful little angel. Also watch a bit of telly while LO is napping to take your mind somewhere else for a short while. And get some sleep whenever you can.

I felt lonely after having DD but actually it wasn't because I was truely alone, it was the realisation of the massive responsibility of looking after someone so small and precious.

Many hugs and much love to you
xxxx

Awh PND is awful - but it does get better (voice of bitter experience)

It is hard being stuck in the house all day with a small baby, well I found it hard!! Anyone who thinks it is an easy option to be a SAHM has never done it, in my opinion!

Oh and I agree with skandi - chocolate is the answer

Chocolate is a good idea

Couldn't agree more knockraven, Being at home 24/7 is way harder than working! My job was hard work but at least I got a lunch hour and a chance to have a laugh and a gossip in the the staff room!

Ah sorry!

Didn't see your reply just now and feel of my newborn advice!!

My DD is 9 months and I still feel overwhelmed at times and very emotional.

Am sorry to hear about PND! Its hard when our DHs are not around.

Mine is around at weekends but works long hrs during week so spend a lot of time alone with DD and yes it can be a bit lonely sometimes.

But I have spent some time recently making "friends" for DD and myself at the swings and with neighbours with DCs that I had no previously spoken to.

That has helped and I can go visit and DD gets a playdate and I get cup of tea and adult company.

I live in London so its quite lonely sometimes and not much of a community feel but it turns out that the community is there if you look for it.

Many many many hugs to you.

Is your LO on the move yet?? If so you can take her to soft play areas.
xxxx

memoo - I know totally where you're coming from, its relentless and 24/7!! NO days off once you're a mummy!

This makes me sound awful but.. I did the SAHM mum thing because it was the best thing for the kids, and because childcare for 4 kids was not an option on the salary I had.

I made it fun for the kids, I did 'stuff' with them, I cooked, cleaned etc etc, but I didn't enjoy it. And I felt really really guilty about that for a long time.

But to be positive, you're getting time with your baby, the PND will get better, and think of the lovely sunny afternoons in the park you'll be able to have (if we ever get any decent weather that is!!)

And yes choccies are good for a boost.

You could make a bit of a "thing" of it and go out for choccies (not sure where you are) but a trip to a cafe for tea and choccies or starbucks (I've lived in there for about 9 months now ).

If the PND means you're reluctant to venture out, I'd "treat" myself to appalling daytime tv and choccies when your LO naps. Its a short term boost but worth a try.

Again more hugs to you

I can't seem to organise myself enough to get out of the door. Would love to sit in the garden and feel the sun on my face but can't even bring myself to do that!

Appalling daytime tv is good ) I have hospital heros on as we speak!

Memoo, sending you a hug too. I am another one who understands where you are coming from. PND is horrid, but it will get better. When I first had to deal with my ds alone, I rmember getting through the day little by little....working on getting through say the next half hour is much less of a challenge than the whole day.

How is the weahter where you are today? We have lovely sun, bit chilly but perfect for a walk. Know it can be incredibly hard to get motivated, and it used to panic me no end, but could you get out even for a walk round the block with lo in the buggy? I used to and still do feel so much better fro a bit of fresh air..

As the others have said, chocolate. Or can you put some "happy" music on, or grab a few pages of a book/magazine when lo naps?

Hope your day goes ok and will check back later x

Hey and don't be feeling for any advice! You're here, and you have no idea how much it helps to be able to reach out and have people be there. Thats why I love MN

Knew the getting out can feel impossible, you have my huge sympathies.

Thanks ET, its a beautiful day here today. Don't think I can manage a walk round the block but might try and work on getting myself to at least sit in the garden for a bit. Eve loves it outside too, she loves watching the trees

Here's a virtual hug. I need one too Having a bad day after a run of good days. I think you're doing great though. To steal a phrase from another of your threads: KBO!

I wish MN had been around when I had mine!!

Push yourself a little bit like everyone else has said, even a wee five minute walk if you can manage it.

And do not feel guilty about the stuff that doesn't get done - if your LO goes for a nap and you sit on your bum and read a book/watch rubbish tele admits to addiction to Judge Judy then that is fine!

Remember, in your job you got a lunch hour and breaks, and you are just as entitled to them at home, you just might get them at different times IYSWIM.

oh and becky - for you too

Also I used to have career and my job require overseas travel and was a circa 70hour week.

I thought that was as hard as it could get.... Haha then I became a mummy! OMG! Nothing I have ever done compares. It truely is 24/7 as you can never ever switch off even for a second!

Am now a SAHM and I have never been busier. Every evening I feel so knackered and drained.

Also Knockraven I have found being a SAHM really really hard!! And feel such a fool for thinking for years that it was an "easy"option! I never considered things like not having a sick day.

As lovely as my DH is and as involved as he is with DD, there are just times when i'm a bit .
Last night, he's gone into DDs room at 10pm to check on her and comes up to get me and says "I think she's pooed can you come and have a look?" I mean ARGH! If you yhink she's pooed then change her even if you do wake her as she can't lie in poop all night.

But rather than deal himself, he had to get mummy out of bed to get involved. This is why it feels so 24/7. You're never "off shift".

Junior doctors complain about their hours. I say Ha, you whimps - try being a mummy.

Hugs again to you

Eve is such a lovely name...top choice

Forcing myself out of the house generally worked for me (dd is 12 months now), or phoning someone with baby of similar age to have a good moan and laugh about how mad babies are. It is totally full on being alone with baby I think, sometimes mine drove me crazy, especially when she had a melt down everytime I put her in the buggy - cue me begging an 8 month old to please stop crying... She got much better once she hit 10 months for some reason.

Good luck with it, hope your day gets better x

hey hugs to you

Hugs to everyone! sounds like a rubbsih day all round!

Panda, I use to have weird dreams when I was on mertazapine, what are you on?

You're so right Becky, KBO!!! I need to make that my Mantra

A relation of my XH had 3 under 2 and they were all singles - aarrrggghhh

It helps to talk to someone who is a bit ahead of you if that makes sense, because they can sympathise, but also tell you that it does get better.