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Mental health

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Original poster

Feeling so down - the only answer is activity isn't it?

27 replies

Dumbledoresgirl · 07/07/2009 16:53

I keep feeling down. Right now, I am sat as if nailed to the chair, totally lacking any energy to get up and do all that has to be done. I can't change what is making me sad, so the only thing to do is to immerse myself in activity, right?

OP posts:

LaTrucha · 07/07/2009 16:55

It's what I do. Don't wear yourself out though. I find doing something constructive in the house i better than going for a run. You might differ of course. I hope you're feeling better soon.

mumblecrumble · 07/07/2009 16:56

Hmmmm.

Sorry you're down. I get like this and find the guilt of not moving often as crippling as the depression.

You can do the damn heck you feel like. What do you NEED to do today?

Original poster

Dumbledoresgirl · 07/07/2009 17:01

Thanks for your kindness. I have resisted posting for so long as I used to post all the time and once read back my sad threads and was horrified I had committed such maudlin stuff to the web. But today I feel too sad to do anything else.

Yes, I must be active. I agree the inactivity is almost as depressing as the thoughts that got me here in the first place.

OP posts:

LaTrucha · 07/07/2009 17:16

Clean your kitchen cupboards? I LIKE doing this!

LaTrucha · 07/07/2009 17:19

Or you could just sit and stare at the wall. Sometimes this is good too! Or extra sleep?

foreverchanges · 07/07/2009 17:20

yeah ive been feeling down too shocked as it seems to have come from nowhere(hormonal?)
its good to post ddg there are always others feeling the same way
think some activity is good ,i have a going back to bed habit when im down ,im like sod walking the dog sod doin housework ,tho i usually manage to get something together by t time
if you dont do anything dont feel guilty somedays are just like that....like this...
hope youre feeling better soon x

Original poster

Dumbledoresgirl · 07/07/2009 17:35

Well, I sat down to have breakfast after the kids went to school and I was still in my chair at the kitchen table when it was time to go and pick them up. I have done a few things - made beds, ironing, hoovered a bit - but most of the time I have sat here and got more and more tearful.

Sorry you feel the same way foreverchanges. I have no idea why I am feeling like this either, but it has been hitting me on and off for a few weeks now. Damn, I haven't been depressed without a reason for decades...

OP posts:

mumblecrumble · 07/07/2009 19:01

Go to your GP Dumbledoresgirl. You don't deserve to be feeling so crap.

LaTrucha · 07/07/2009 19:17

I agree.

bakerslovecakes · 07/07/2009 19:31

I go through phases where im quite happy and can deal with things and then i feel really down and can hardly do anything, somedays once ive walked my dd to the bus stop i go home sit on the settee with the tv on and thats it, i cant be bothered to do anything, and it'll be like that for days doing the important stuff like getting my daughter to school, cooking for her, but everything else i cant be bothered with until i snap out of it. Im glad to know that im not the only one because most other mums i meet seem really happy.

moondog · 07/07/2009 19:33

You need a job mate.

You've got to start doing something for you and not just your kids and dh.

XXX

bakerslovecakes · 07/07/2009 19:38

I've been looking but i havent worked in nearly 14 years bringing up my dd on my own, so im finding it really difficult. I've just finished a short computer course, 2 hours a week, i suppose its a start.

Original poster

Dumbledoresgirl · 07/07/2009 19:58

Well done bakerslovecakes, that is one step further than I have ever gone. I have been at home with my children for a similar length of time - 13.5 years - and I can't believe how badly my self-esteem re getting a job has become. I don't even feel I would be accepted to stack shelves in Tesco, despite the fact that I know in my heart I could run the bloody shop if I wanted to. I don't know how to transfer that inner knowledge into confidence, mad as that might sound.

I wish I was a 1950s housewife in more than just my mindset and I could stay at home without feeling I am wasting my life.

(Moondog - Where in the world are you now?)

OP posts:

moondog · 07/07/2009 20:10

If you are happy being home then that is fine.
Do what makes you happy, not others all the time.

I'm in Wales,but gettting ready to go to Bangladesh (and Malaysia) for the summer, where my dh is working.

bakerslovecakes · 07/07/2009 20:14

Thanks Dumbledoresgirl, i know what you mean, sometimes when im in shops or on the phone to people i sometimes think i could do a better job than you, i certainly wouldnt have that attitude towards customers, but i dont have the confidence to even apply for an application form. Now my dd is 13 yo, i've been told i have to go back to work or college or my benefit will be stopped, but wheres the help if you have really low self-esteem and want to go back to work but cant.

Original poster

Dumbledoresgirl · 07/07/2009 20:37

That's hard bakerslovecakes, although you have a really good incentive pushing you to find work knowing your benefits will stop if you don't. What sort of work are you actually hoping to do? Sounds like office work - if so, that's what I was thinking about though, and this is to Moondog who has been badgering me to go back to work for at least 4 years now I can't look for anything until I have the summer holidays out of the way.

I am happy at home and my sadness now has nothing to do with being a SAHM, but modern life won't leave me alone.

OP posts:

moondog · 07/07/2009 20:38

but modern life won't leave me alone.

What do you mean??

(Lol, my stock advice to anyone is exercise and paid or voluntary work!)

Original poster

Dumbledoresgirl · 07/07/2009 20:41

I think I am a soul who was born into the wrong century Moondog. No I am not mad!

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moondog · 07/07/2009 20:50

Oh I'm a bit like thT.jUST WANT TO COOK AND SEW AND READ AND WALK and think really.

Is this what you mena?

bakerslovecakes · 07/07/2009 21:09

once the summer hols are here, thats it im not spending it looking for a job and college is shut. And no, Dumbledoresgirl, you dont sound mad.

Original poster

Dumbledoresgirl · 07/07/2009 21:23

I think I would prefer to be a man if I was born in an earlier century. It isn't just about the simpler lifestyle, but also about the values of an earlier age. Still, I don't suppose they saw it that way, do you? They would have yearned for our freedoms and opportunities had they known about them, not to mention healthcare and welfare state!

OP posts:

foreverchanges · 10/07/2009 10:00

hello dumbledoresgirl are you feelng any better ? im still down tho trying to ignore it ,had a tummy virus and just getting over it .
im goin to take on 'activity is the only answer' today and tidy my house up (its a real mess) think i shoul do it out of respect for my kids alone ! hopefully i will feel better when ive put some effort in ....

Original poster

Dumbledoresgirl · 10/07/2009 10:09

Hi fc, well, I was a bit better but now I am feeling down again. Mind you, I have reason to: yesterday my son had a final rehearsal with the accompanist for his grade 3 flute exam which he is taking tomorrow and he made so many mistakes. I get really nervous for him but had convinced myself he was playing well enough to pass until I heard him yesterday....

Then dh came home and told me he is away for a couple of nights next week. I have a phobia of sickness which makes it very hard for me to be alone at night with my children. Dh hasn't been away for about 6 months (he used to be away as often as once a fortnight) so it is quite a blow to have him away again now. Also, his absence coincides with a barbecue we were invited to. I won't be able to go without him. Actually, I am not that bothered about the barbecue, but it is a pita as we rarely get invited to social events.

Good luck with keeping busy today. I haven't got the heart to stay at home doing housework, so I was going to go out today, but I am putting it off at the moment as I haven't got any money to spend either! Life, eh?

OP posts:

foreverchanges · 10/07/2009 11:24

yeah life ! done my kitchen not tidy but cleaner ...now my living room....
sorry your dh is going away ...at least you have partner i have no partner and feel really lonely when i wake up and dc s are at my xp s all my friends have partners /married feel like the odd girl out sometimes ..life ,eh !

bakerslovecakes · 10/07/2009 13:25

i'm so glad i've found mn, I really used to think I was the only one who felt like this and the only lone parent, like forever, all the other mums i know have partners

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