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Original poster

Health Anxiety/Hypochondria - has anyone found effective way to cope?

45 replies

LightShinesInTheDarkness · 26/01/2009 10:54

Health Anxiety is ruining my life. It comes and goes but every time DH feels a little unwell, I go into a complete panic and am terrified he has a disease which will kill him.

I am sure it is only a matter of time before he is diagnosed with cancer or some other long-term debilitating disease.

I look up stuff on the Internet, trying to work out the cause of his symptoms. He has to see the GP today as he has pains in his chest and I have literally been sick with worry, I am shaking and cried for ages this morning.

He is very anxious about his health as well, but so far has never been diagnosed with anything serious. He does not take much time off work and does a physical job, but is always complaining about symptoms.

Please - has anyone else suffered this and found an effective way of handling these fears?

Thanks.

OP posts:
blissa · 26/01/2009 13:01

Hi, I don't really have any advice for you but didn't want you to go unanswered.

How did his GP appointment go?

notnowbernard · 26/01/2009 13:03

It sounds like you would benefit from some support from a CBT therapist... Cognitive Behavioural Therapy has been found to be a really effective way of dealing with health anxiety

Could you book an appt with your GP? They might be able to refer you

Original poster
LightShinesInTheDarkness · 26/01/2009 13:47

notnowB - thanks, have asked GP but he says only available privately and I have no spare dosh at present. What is the basis principle of CBT?

blissa - Appt is 2.30pm.

OP posts:
notnowbernard · 26/01/2009 13:58

Really? Am suprised at that... most local mental health teams have CBT-trained staff attached to them

CBT is about looking at how our behaviours, or thoughts, affect the way we feel. By becoming aware of these links we can then attempt to change them in order to change the way we are feeling (sorry, bit of a pants explanation, but it's the general gist)

CBT works particularly well for anxiety disorders

sylvev · 26/01/2009 20:29

Lightshines.... Try to gradually relearn how to approach illness. Firstly, keep away from the internet and medical books. Secondly, only think about the here-and-now re symptoms, try not to think about "what ifs..."

Draw up a plan for the next time someone is ill i.e: I'll give capol etc, arrange to see gp after 48 hours if it worsens or lingers. Distract self away from worrying thoughts.

Remind yourself of all the times you have worried and it has come to nothing.

There are some good books that may help. There is one called "An introduction to coping with health anxiety", (sorry can't at this moment remember authors), which is good, your local library should be able to order it in.

I know this can be an overwhelming struggle, if it continues, do seek help, via your gp.

I hope this is helpful, just a few ideas really.

Original poster
LightShinesInTheDarkness · 27/01/2009 10:20

Sylvev - thanks for answering, and for the book suggestion. I did look up 'Health Anxiety' on Amazon, and found there are quite a few, plus a 'Dummies Guide' to CBT - anyone read it?

DH had GP appt yesterday. Has lung capacity of an Olympic athlete (doc said) but still complaining of cough, pain in ribs and breathlessness. Has prescription for anti-bs and to go back in a week if no better, for blood tests and X-rays. I am not at all reassured that its nothing serious, and nor is he.

OP posts:
seb1 · 27/01/2009 22:21

Free online CBT course

JollyPirate · 27/01/2009 22:28

LightShines - if you don't already know about it then the No More Panic website is very good and is [[http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk here]. They have a whole message board devoted to Health Anxiety.

The problem with any type of anxiety is that you get a stress response which gives you a whole host of physical symptoms to worry about.

I have suffered with Health Anxiety on and off for the last 20 years - I am told CBT is very good and am about to ask my GP for a referral.

As you are probably aware Health Anxiety it's usually about other stuff going on in your life/from the past/present. Deal with this and you deal with the anxiety - allegedly.

Oh and by the way - from bitter experience can I advise you to NEVER google symptoms - you will always find some hideous and rare disease that you (or DH) are highly unlikely to have. (Been there, done that and have the T-Shirt )

JollyPirate · 27/01/2009 22:31

Link didn't work - it's here

Original poster
LightShinesInTheDarkness · 28/01/2009 10:36

Thanks, jolly. Trouble is, I think DH and I both suffer. He has a chest infection at the moment (taking antib's) and he was in such a state this morning he was almost in tears, worrying about lung cancer.

It is unbearable, as that sets me off panicking.

Thanks for the No More Panic link. Will go there as we really need some help.

OP posts:
candyfluff · 28/01/2009 10:44

lightshines hope your dh is ok

loopylou6 · 28/01/2009 17:05

lightshines i can completely sympathise i have severe HA, but im lucky in the way that my DH doesnt so your HA is made 10 times worse because you havent got anyone to try and reassure you IYSWIM. nothing i can say to you now will reassure you that your dh just has a chest infection, FWIW, i would be behaving exactly the same as you if it where my dh, but because its not my dh and i dont have any emotional ties with him i am realistic and know that its just a chest infection (do you understand my weird ramblings lol) as for CBT i dont rate it tbh, ive spent many an hour with it and it doesnt work, what does work wonders however are tablets, i take 40mg a day of citalopram, i can honestly swear it has made things more bearable for me, now if i have a headache, its coz of stress and not caused by a brain tumour

JollyPirate · 28/01/2009 18:51

Lightshines - try and reassure your DH that his cough being long term will cause the rib pain he is experiencing. Likewise the breathlessness could be because of the cough but also as a result of anxiety - when we are anxious our breathing is more shallow which makes us feel panicky.

It is highly unlikely that he has lung cancer. The GP would not prescribe antibiotics if it were.

CBT has a good track record when dealing with anxiety disorders but doesn't work for everyone as loopylou says above.

My Mum had long term HA but Seroxat has been a miracle worker for her - did nothing for me though.

Original poster
LightShinesInTheDarkness · 28/01/2009 23:07

Jolly - thank you.

I have spent quite a long time on the No More Panic site tonight, trying to make sense of my/our fear.

DH spent quite a long time describing his symptoms tonight, including pain when he had a drink. I am so worried about lymphoma - just thinking about his symptoms and what I have read about on the Internet literally turns my bowels to water with fear.

I already take citalopram 20/40mg, but I can't cope with this fear about health. I even find myself saying that even if he were to die, I would rebuild my life somehow eventually.

OP posts:
JollyPirate · 29/01/2009 07:40

Am so glad you've found the website useful Lightshines - I have posted there alot in the past as I have terrible HA.

Can I just reinforce - NEVER Google symptoms - because it honestly won't give you anything positive.

A few years ago I had a blood test which showed my sodium levels were a little bit low. My GP just commented on it and was not worried. I googled it and found that sodium levels could be a side effect of cancer and drove myself nuts for weeks - that was 8 years ago - as far as I know my lowish sodium levels are still around but more to the point so am I so am guessing it wasn't caused by cancer

Another point worth considering. 1 in 3 people will get some form of cancer which means 2 in 3 will not - the odds are already in your favour (and in your DHs favour). Of the 1 in 3 who do - the majority will be elderly. Add to that the numbers of people who get a cure now or who simply live with their cancer because it's controlled. All that makes me feel a bit better and a bit more reassured.

jalopy · 29/01/2009 09:25

This is another forum that might help you.

Original poster
LightShinesInTheDarkness · 29/01/2009 09:48

Hi everyone. I am now so terrified I am literally shaking. Last night DH had a symptom which is uncommon but another indicator of lymphoma.

What on earth am I going to do? He now has several of the symptoms and anti-biotics are not working.

Should I discuss these fears with anyone - him? his GP? my mum?

I read on a thread about etiquette on MN that you should not say you are sitting crying, but I can't help it.

OP posts:
JollyPirate · 29/01/2009 17:19

LightShines - I am not totally sure what the symptoms of lymphoma are but - has his GP even considered this as a possibility - if he hasn't then it's because he does not suspect it.

Look at the symptoms of a viral infection though because I bet there are some similarities - and antibiotics don't work for a viral infection which would explain why your DH is not improving despite them.

Ring his GP for reassurance - am sure he will explain why he is not considering lymphoma.

adelicatequestion · 29/01/2009 20:17

Thought I'd put my experience in.

I had a cough and chest pains and when I swallowed, I had a horrible pain that was right in the centre of my back.

I was convinced it was my heart and went to the doctor. Turns out it was reflux/gerd/hiatus hernia and the symptoms for this can be extreme and sometimes get confused with asthma and all sorts.

I don;t know what your DH has but there are hundreds of causes not as serious as you are imagining.

Take care. I know what it's like beacuse I am the same.

Momino · 30/01/2009 14:03

Lightshines, I really hope you can relax and hope your DH can get a diagnosis that will put both your minds at ease.

I'm the same as the others on this thread and have suffered from HA and am so grateful for the links posted here as I always look for support.

I had a sore throat last year that wouldn't go away and was convinced I had some kind of throat cancer. anti biotics didn't help but time and counselling have helped me and now believe it was anxiety/depression. Also have had all sorts of bowel things (no need to specify which worried me about bowel cancer. Again, i'm still here and haven't had any symptoms since.

Jollypirate is right about googling - very dangerous and can be misleading.

hopeyou take care and relax.

JollyPirate · 30/01/2009 18:38

Seb1 - the online CBT course you have linked to is fantastic. Have started it.

Lightshines are you okay?

Original poster
LightShinesInTheDarkness · 31/01/2009 13:38

Hi - I have read your messages time and time again, they are a bit of a lifeline at the moment. DH has had a very sleepless night, saying he is breathless.

I am still in a real state, trying to keep a lid on it,and you are all so sensible and reassuring. But when I am in this situation its like a nightmare - I keep cuddling the kids as if I am going to have to tell them some terrible news, which is very bad. I must not let my fears affect them.

Just wish I could get a grip. Am definitely keeping away from the Google.

OP posts:
Concepta · 31/01/2009 13:59

Just read your link and wanted to let you know that you are much in my thoughts and prayers. I can't offer you any advice but I do hope you and your husband will feel much better soon.

Original poster
LightShinesInTheDarkness · 31/01/2009 14:18

Thanks, Concepta. DH has gone out for a while which does at least mean I stop timing how often he is coughing.

Going to take DCs out in a while, need to get a change of scenery.

Planning to watch a movie all togther this evening.

OP posts:
LucyEllensmummy · 31/01/2009 14:30

you know you have to stop this don't you? You also have the right to go and stamp your feet at the doctors until you get access to the right sort of counselling. I had to do this - diagnosed with health anxiety and clinical depression, chucked onto citalopram and pretty much forgotten about after a six week session of counselling. Was almost suicidal before, despite being told that nothing else avail on NHS - miraculously, i was reffered onto the mental health team and given immediate counselling - was offered CBT too, but actually my counsellor is very good and we do some CBT techniques too.

To put your mind at rest a little, everyone in this house, and my mum have been coughing since october, pretty much constantly, lots of people i know have been the same, i think there is a really horrid bug going around that is just hanging on and hanging on in people. We are JUST about getting over it now - it really gets you down. I still coughing of a night - very often a cough perpetuates itself, as it irritates the lining of the trachea when you keep coughing and irritation of the trachea makes you cough!

Maybe your DH needs some med and counselling too, but you sound like you are feeding off each others fears. For some reason, when it comes ot memeber of my family i am really objective on the face of it, but of course terrified inside.

You sound like such a lovely family and i hate to see what this is doing to you all, your children will pick up on the anxiety and wonder whats going on. It is highly unlikely that in someone as fit as your DH that it would be anything serious, and one of the symptoms of anxiety can be pains in the chest and breathlessness. Maybe you could look online for some breathing techniques.

Enjoy your movie tonight and enjoy each other - something tells me you are gong to have MANY years happy together