Scared of being upstairs at night after Gran passed away...

[lauraloola]

My Gran died quite suddenly on Sunday night and I was there when she went.

Dp is away until Friday and wasnt here when Gran died. Dd is 7mo and has been part of everything going on this week.

I am scared to go upstairs at night time. My own shadow made me jump last night. When I go to bed I get dd and take her to bed with me so that I dont have to get out of bed again.

Do you think I will snap out of it?? I have never seen a dead person before so I wonder if it has something to do with that?

((Hugs))

It is upsetting the first time we see a dead body, especially if it is a loved one. The final moments are so...final. I think our society is too far removed from death to be honest - previous generations saw it all.

Your Grandma loved you right? She would never ever harm you in life right? Why should she do so in death? Even if that is only to scare you.

It's not the dead we should be afraid of.

Hope this helps a little. Sleep with the light on. These feeling will pass. I expect to see my Gran on my nightly trips to the loo - although i never have - she's prob too busy watching Emmerdale up there .

Laura I am so sorry to hear about your loss and subsequent anxiety. I can only imagine this is a very natural reaction to such a traumatic experience.

However, and I am not being harsh here, but, could you be getting your 7mo into bad habits of sleeping with you? When DP returns and you are happy to have company are you going to be upset that your DD might suddenly not want to sleep in her own room/cot? Just a thought.

Is there anyone else who can come stay with you till your DP returns?

I must admit I am useless in the dark on my own, I have to turn on every light in the house just to get up to DD when DH is away so I do totally sympathise.

I am sure you will get back to normal, are you able to speak to a berevement councillor? (sorry, spelling is dreadful tonight, I am chilly and tired)

Good luck, try to take one night at a time, little steps and little successes.

My Gran loved us all x

Dd comes to bed with me when she wakes at 1am every night so its to stop me getting up then.

Im ok downstairs but upstairs I am very jumpy. Its weird Im not usually like this.

I think I will leave lights on tonight. Thank you xxx

I have this thing where I hate to go upstairs at night when dh away but once I am up and in bed I cannot bare to go back down again. I keep all the lights on and never leave anything hanging up like a dress etc as they scare the living bejesus out of me in the dark. I have been known to sleep with a side light on, the landing light, the bathroom light and most def the stairs light to our loft extension. Hey, I have even called my mum on the phone whilst I search the whole house including flippin wardrobes!!!

I think it is totally normal what you ate feeling. Keep a phone close and keep the house lights on till dh returns. Good luck xx

I think you are just really upset and shaken up and that is making you anxious.I am so sorry you lost your gran.I am sure this feeling will pass as you process your grief. you just need a bit of tlc,I'm sure as soon as dh is back you will feel a bit better,you just need other loved ones around to look after you a bit at the moment.Sending you a hug.

Gosh, I do all of that and it never occured to me that I wasn't normal! My dh works shifts and works away for months at a time. Like you lauraloola, when he's away I bring ds into our bed (he comes in at some point anyway) so that I don't have to get out of bed again. I hate having his monitor on when I'm in our bedroom because every noise I hear on it freaks me out (I'm ok whin I've got it with me downstairs).

I leave the bathroom light on, and a night light on the landing. i always have a charged phone next to me.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

lauraloola, my Dad died very suddenly at my parents' house. I went back to look after my Mum for a bit. I was terrified at night. It was totally irrational, but there you go. My sister said she felt exactly the same.

I am fine now (well, it is 7 years ago) and was fine pretty soon afterwards really. You have had a shock.

I am sorry that your Gran died x

I was a bit better last night but I have the stair and hall lights on and still bring dd to bed with me.

Dp is back tomorrow for the weekend so hopefully I will be better again. Thanks x