What do you think of friends, family or collegues who suffer from depression?

[notsofarnow]

Just interested really.

Do you think they should pull themselves together?

Do you think it is thier own fault?

Do you look at these people when you know that their not well and think here we go again? and then keep a safe distance.

Dh suffers from depression, i find it hard to understand how he is feeling as he doesn't tell me. I know its not his fault, i don't blame him and i try to be suportive. I know he can't pull himself together as its not that easy (if only it was).

It's a bit difficult to answer this without knowing why you're asking. It would be horrible to say the wrong thing if you're the one suffering from depression.

Would say generally sympathetic but nothing is ever as simple as that when it comes to emotions, is it?

What do you think notsofarnow?

I have to confess to an attitude of .. you have a nice house, a job, you have a loving family around you .. will you just give yourself a kick up the bum and get on with life

and then it happened to me and realised how wrong I had been.

I learned the hard way never judge a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes

It depends how much it affects my life. Quite a few friends have suffered from it at various intervals, and I found there were times I got a bit ground down by the ones who wouldn't seek help but just kept on freaking out and getting upset and generally being hard to live with.
Depression is an illness, it needs treatment, but it's bloody hard to live with other people's: you end up having to censor your own thoughts half the time cos even if you're having a shit day, it's Not As Bad As What They Are Going Through, and it wears you out if you're the only one there to do the mopping up, dress the self-harm wounds, go to work after yet another 2 hour 3am phonecall etc...

am asking ass a depression sufferer. Have got it into my head that people are fed up of me and just look at me and think oh here we go again. Went to speak to my manager today as she is generally very supportive. She said all that people see is someone who juggles 4 dc on her own and doesnt sit at home on her backside. And they think thank goodness i've not got 4 dc on my own.

she banned me from using the phrase I hate myself and said that I don't I just hate the frustration of the situation.

I think I would be amazed to see someone at work if I knew they had 4dc - alone - and were suffering from depression.

I think there are not many people left about who think 'pull yourself together' about depression. Any is too many of course, but it's getting rarer. There can't be many people whose lives haven't been touched by it one way or another.

notsofarnow

The fact you think people are fed up with you is all part of your depression

Hsving been there the best advice I can give you is to try not to beat yourself up. I know all to well that its easier said than done. But honestly beating yourself up pushes you further down the spiral.

Remember the reason you are depressed are the receptors in your brain are not working (yes it is a physical illness) and like any illness you need rest,medicaton and tlc

your manager seems very sensible. I think you are fab for holding down a job and looking after 4 kids.. well done you . You will come through this

stay strong

Thats the trouble I keep getting through it then am back where I started. aghhhh.

Even the counsellor said on Thurs I don't think i'm doing you any good and this seems too traumatic for you.

did something trigger it notsofar?

I dont want to pry so if you dont want to say thats ok

its just what you said re your counsellor made me wonder

no nothing triggered it the only thing I have done this week is have two counselling sessions. One with the original woman i saw connected to GP back in Jan who referred me onto CBT counsellor. I just feel that this woman hits the nail on the head so to speak and although I feel awful i think she is the woman who could really help. The CBT counsellor just doesn't change anything.

I am soooo tired, slept about 3 hours last night, then went to work. I can't be bothered to do anything this eve and just keep ordering dd's round to load dish washer etc. I am an awful person.

oh notsofar you are far from a terrible person I wish I could put my arms around you and make you feel better

With 4 kids plus a job you deserve sometime to sit down

I know you dont think you are coping right now ..but you are getting to work and coping with your large family. This means you are stronger than you think

I know I am not being much use Maybe someone out there in mn has betteradvice .til then you are stuck with me.. am off to bed soon but will be around over the weekend

stay strong.. remember whatever else you have/dont have you have 4 people who think you are the best person in the whole world [smile}

Good manager. You are very lucky.

To answer your question - until I suffered depression I thought 'oh pull yourself together' and some people will always think this but they are so not worth worrying about.

I know this is my perception of what people think. The thing I don't like is my face gives me away. If i'm not well then in work i'm flushed. Its hot anyway as its a hospital and they don't seem to know the meaning of heating control on a ward. But if i'm not well then I always seem to be flushed there.

I've met no one who is unsympathetic but I just think its what thier thinking and tbh thier nurses so they probably don't think like that at all.

Ah - it's always my vioce that gives it away. That's partly why I hate using the phone.

Yes it need treatment - but for very many people there is no really effective treatment i.e one that doesn't just alter the illness you have into another form. The perception from others that it is totally 100% treatable totally irritates me.

I wonder what percentage of single working mums of 4 are NOT depressed?? I also think paranoia is a regular bedfellow to depression. A really cheery combination