Loneliness

[PurpleLovecats]

How do you cope with loneliness? I feel so lonely it sometimes actually hurts.
I’ve no real friends as I suffer with poor MH so rarely leave the house. My husband works difficult hours so is often out in the evening.
2 of my 4 adult children live at home but they have their own lives obviously.
I wonder if there are online groups I can engage with or something?

They say they don’t want me to become dependent on them.

The GP is a bit stuck as Talking Therapies reject referrals too as they say I’m too complex for them. So nobody will “take me on”.

That’s not true though is it? I’ve remembered you disagreed with their diagnosis of you and that they wanted to change your meds.

Yes it is true, I can show the discharge summary if you like?

We did disagree on diagnosis as they took me off my meds and I went psychotic again. Fortunately the private psych put me back on them. I’m now stable.

But this thread is about loneliness, not about my diagnosis really.

But the loneliness is a direct result of the MH issues not being under control. Which you did say in a prior thread was because you disagreed with their diagnosis so they refused to see you. You need to sort your MH so you can get out.

They didn’t refuse to see me. They discharged me as they didn’t want me to be dependent on them. I did disagree with the latest psychs diagnosis (previous psychs diagnosed me as psychotic). I was sectioned several times and always treated as psychotic so the change of psych and his random diagnosis was a shock. Fortunately my current psych put me back on the medication and I’m very stable again.

But not well enough to leave the house. That’s not sustainable. And you said they reject the referral so they do refuse to see you.

Could you join a local community choir? Great for making friends

If it was online I might manage it. I don’t leave the house so couldn’t go to one.

Yes true. I just didn’t really want this thread to be about the CMHT as that’s a non starter and I have to accept that. There’s no help for my anxiety hence accepting I’m house-bound.

There must be. Put your energy into that. GP needs to confer with CMHT and they need to agree a way forward. Good luck.

Thank you. I’m so relieved to be on the antipsychotics and not to be hearing and seeing things anymore so that’s been the big win this year.

You could be a part of any community groups so that could suggest you some activities. Other than that you could also go for lunch or tea party with your neighbors or any friend so you could socialise and stay fresh altogether.

I can’t do that though as I don’t leave the house? I’m a member of community forums but they are just online posting. I like the sound of online choir as it seems like more of a connection?

Do you never go out with your DC?

They’re all adults now and no I don’t.

I thought you went to one of their graduation ceremonies in the last couple of years and you had a caravan holiday fairly recently too?

Yes I did last year manage to do things when I was on the olanzapine but this time it’s not to working in that way although it has treated my psychosis which is fab.

So just to clarify as I feel people are trying to catch me out or something, I attended a graduation a year ago. I went for three days to a caravan in May when my meds were working really well. I couldn’t do much when away, walked on beaches, but couldn’t eat out for example.

💐 OP.

I did some fantastic courses online at Harvard (swank) via Edx. They were free, you don’t need any qualifications and you get to chat with other people on the course either on FaceTime or chatroom.

also… window box. When I was horribly ill I sent off for a plant on Amazon and taught myself indoor gardening. Started small. Go cheap at first so if it dies you aren’t skint and heartbroken - seeds and herbs are easy and useful. I found myself bawling GOOD MORNING at my herb garden the other day.

On Mumsnet you do come across people who try and niggle at posts - we all get it. It’s a drag, meh, ignore.

Cut yourself some slack - you’ve done bloody well so far.

@Supersimkin7 thank you for your kind message. I do garden a bit and grow done veg and herbs and have houseplants.
I like the idea of the courses, it would mean some communication with people which I think I really crave.
DH has just told me I need to go with him to the vet tomorrow with our kittens so that’s sent me into a complete tailspin. So I’ll look into those things tomorrow as tonight will probably be a write-off due to my panic.

But you have kittenz!

Let them
distract you xx

Oh they do, they bring such joy to be fair. But they’re not great conversationalists!