Can anyone please advise wether this behaviour while on antidepressants is normal?

[ANOTHERnewstart]

I have been fortunate enough to not need any medications for mental health..I have no real understanding of how it must feel which is why I’m asking for some help in relation to a relationship I’m in.

My partner (who I’ve been with for 3yrs) is on antidepressants & has been for years. His behaviour is erratic and I’m at the point where I need to check how other people navigate life while being on them because quite frankly it’s ruining us.

He can be the most chilled helpful loving person. Thoughtful..asks questions..listens etc. Things will be great for say 4/5 weeks then something triggers him and he changes into a different person. He especially likes to do this just before an event or something good is about to happen.
He will initially just be off with me like we’ve had an argument..except we won’t have done. Whatever’s happened I’m always oblivious to, as don’t see it coming..I will ask what’s wrong and he will proceed to sulk and literally ignore me. This gets my back up..I find it hurtful..unnecessary and frustrating. It will sometimes result in him accusing me of things and when I get upset he says ‘it was a joke’ he can also get really sarcastic which makes me see him as a totally different person. After that he will just act like I don’t exist until I force us to talk.
This has taken its toll over the last few years to the point where I asked him to leave for a few days as couldn’t bare living in the same house as someone who came across as hating me. From that he assured me he would see the doctor as admitted he didn’t know why he got like it and wanted us to work.
Queue the docs..new tablets..transitioning starts and all good…then we have this cycle again..

To those of you who are on antidepressants…Is this behaviour because his initial tablets didn’t work? Is this behaviour now because he’s transitioning across? Or is his behaviour some weird form of appearing totally in love with me for a few weeks then not being able to give me the time of day?!

Help…as he’s currently upstairs not speaking to me…

I’m on anti depressants, about half the people I know are. And no-one behaves like this. He’s just an arsehole.

The pattern of him behaving like this just before an event or something good happening is relevant. Challenge him on it. Say you have noticed this pattern and will call him out on it as it is manipulative and unpleasant. IME, as someone who has cared for a very mentlaly ill person and also been depressed myself for decades - sometimes on, sometimes off medication, behaviour gets worse if left unchallenged. Depression can make us sulky, selfish, irritable, and being reminded that this behaviour is having a negative effect on loved ones can sometimes nudge us from getting stuck in that mode.

Bipolar ?
that aside I’d ask him to leave

I’m not sure what anyone’s saying is going in is it?

It. Is. Not. The. Meds.
It is him
he’s abusive.

Two days ago you said he’s been 5 weeks on new meds and his behaviours are still the same. Yet now, you’re saying his behaviour was great on them. But he’s stopped them in the last two days. And is being abusive again.

None of this makes sense. You’re being gaslighted

Sorry for the late reply. I’m really not sure, I think I was just so worried internally about what was about to happen. Worried about what to expect, who would be there, what would be expected of me, would I make a fool of myself, all sorts of things. Silly to other people but huge to me.
I actually did this the other day, I was going to do an activity I hadn’t done before and I was very nervous and I just shut down and was snappy and grumpy. But I’m lucky Dh has been patient with me early in our marriage and we have talked about it and I now understand it, he understands how I feel and I’m mature enough to finally manage it.
I have no idea if this is the same situation for your Dh but just offering another view. I haven’t seen any of your other Posts.

I can say with almost 100% certainty that this has got nothing at all to do with his mental health or his medications. This is abusive behaviour, plain and simple. Sorry OP, but he is not a keeper and he certainly isn’t almost perfect.

Edited to add, there is nothing in his behaviour suggestive or bipolar. Bipolar doesn’t cause someone to sulk and give someone the silent treatment as a means of controlling them.

Are these events you’re going to by yourself, him going by himself or events you’re going to together?