How can I manage severe anxiety while away on holiday?

[Crackersknackers]

Hello, I need some advice on how to cope for the next few days.

Ii am 54. I have young onset parkinson's which was diagnosed about 2 years ago.

I have stupidly come on holiday to Italy with a friend and my anxiety is affecting me badly. The journey to the villa was a nightmare as Rome airport seemed to be in chaos. Then took ages to get to car hire place so they couldn't give me the small car I had chosen and I've ended up with a massive bloody SUV. We're out in the countryside, the roads are narrow and potholed and I'm hating driving here. The locals zoom round while im pottering about. I'm really not looking forward to the drive back to drop off the car as I have to go into Rome to do so.

We don't travel back until Monday, what can I do to manage my anxiety until then? I'm feeling like I want to go home right now, regardless of the cost. I just want to cry.

Sorry if this is garbled, I'm not in a good way.

I can't help more generally but with the driving, tell yourself it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, you are not going to see them again. In any case, you should be driving slower than the locals, you are driving an unfamiliar car on unfamiliar roads! Plus everyone hates driving in Rome, honestly! You should feel proud of yourself for getting this far. Get some rest, something nice to eat and hopefully you'll be able to enjoy yourself bit.

Oh no sounds hard, I wouldn't worry about the other drivers just pottle at your own pace, you have overstretched yourself but we live and learn, take a rest day you don't have to do everything
do you have airport assistance booked ?

Can your friend drive ?

How much will you have to use the car whilst there?

If it is truly ruining your holiday and friend can’t drive, maybe just stay in the villa and get food delivered, uber where necessary and you just have the drop off to go, which you can take really slowly

Getting taxis/ubers might be a better idea if you want to go out and about.

How do you usually manage your anxiety - do you have tried and trusted coping skills? How does your anxiety show up - it’s different for everyone, so knowing how it presents for you can help people suggesting coping skills.

My first, and most basic are breathing exercises - try 4 square breathing for a few minutes first thing in the morning and last thing at night, and when you feel anxiety creeping up. It changes your hormone levels so you feel physically less anxious. Also do something that takes your full attention/that you can get lost in. Drawing, colouring, singing along to music - anything that gets you into a flow state.

Also try to rationalise - it’s normal to feel anxious about driving somewhere unfamiliar in a new car, it would be a bit odd if you were totally comfortable with that. That might mean balancing driving with other things you’re more comfortable with eg familiar food, or going for a walk, so you have more capacity for the anxious feelings.

Hi, thanks for responding.

My friend, who is all of 5ft "can" drive but she's never driven anything bigger than a Fiat 500 and she's never driven abroad, whereas I've driven in France, Germany, Spain, USA (so I shouldn't be this worried. )

Thankfully I've calmed down a little since I posted this morning. I've discussed with friend about what I can and can't do this holiday and we've agreed to mostly stay at the villa, with maybe a short trip to the beach. I've done enough shopping this afternoon to keep us going to the end of our stay so that's helped, knowing I won't have to do that trip again.

We are too far out in the country to get taxis/ ubers unfortunately.

Hopefully it was just panic and you have a relaxing holiday, travelling with an illness/disability does come with it's own challenges I've had to find work rounds.

Can the car hire firm swap your large vehicle for a smaller one now? They might not have had one available when you turned up but it may be worth phoning them to see if one the size on your hire agreement is coming in.

To be honest, the car hire people were a bunch of shifty rob-dogs, they were probably lying about what cars were available. I'm having as little to do with them as possible. I've never had a problem with hire cars elsewhere, these ones seem to be uniquely dodgy.

Try not to consume too much caffeine whilst you're away. I know it's tempting with lovely Italian coffee, but it won't help the panicky feeling.

What does your friends height have to do with it? I’m 5’ exactly and drive a big SUV no problems (just adjust the seat as they move up/down, in/out; seatbelt holder, and steering wheel). In other news, as a person of 5’ I’m also able to go on holidays with no issues.

@Crackersknackers Oh dear OP, I'm so sorry. A villa in the middle of nowhere and having to drive in Italy really wasn't the best choice of holiday in hindsight. Especially with a companion who refuses to drive. Just stay within your limitations and spend the time relaxing as best you can. Hopefully you've got a terrace to soak up some sun and read a good book.

That's rather unhelpful. Not everyone is comfortable driving a SUV no matter what height they are. They didn't know they were going to get landed with a SUV and driving in Italy is a notorious freaking nightmare. I know, and I'm half Italian! The OP also has young onset Parkinsons which does mean she has "issues".