What is the point of carrying on with my life?

[HadEnoughOfThisLife]

I reckon if I dropped dead on a Wednesday night, it would be maybe 4 days before anyone noticed. Apart from the cat. And he’d only care because he wasn’t getting fed and is too fussy to eat my eyeballs and fingertips.
I live alone, no partner, no close friends, two grown up children; one I text a few times a week and speak to on the phone about once a week, the other….he’ll ignore my messages and get in touch when he wants something off me; no other relatives. I work 3 days a week, (Tues/ Weds in the office, Thurs wfh) go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week and go to a couple of other weekly activities. I’m perfectly friendly and chatty at work and these activities but don’t have any contact with those people other than when we are face to face. I meet up for a walk and a coffee with one friend once a week, and another friend once every few weeks, but we rarely engage other than to arrange meet ups. They have families, friends and busy lives. Other than that I have no day to day interactions with anyone except if I buy something in a shop. (“Would you like a bag/your receipt?’ etc) or the occasional “Hi how are you?’ chats with neighbours.

From a philosophical point of view, my life is meaningless. I am not content on my own but can’t seem to make meaningful friendships. I’ve been single for 15+ years, and know I am a bit odd and shy so please don’t say ‘all you need to do is join groups, friendships take time, put yourself out there, ask people for a coffee’ etc etc. I am just not that kind of person, so you could say it is all my own fault.

I feel like Woolworths or the local pub on the corner that closes down. Everyone is sad because it has always been there in the background, but nobody actually went and spent time or money there.

I’m not depressed in the clinical sense, but what is the point of carrying on with my life?

But if you don't want suggestions what is the point in starting a thread?

I think that your definition of ‘a lot’ of regular meaningful contact is different to mine.
Seriously, from Wednesday afternoon when I leave the office to the following Tuesday morning when I go back to the office I have meaningful human interaction for maybe 4 hours maximum out of about 135.

And, another, did you not read the bit where I said ‘please don’t say ‘all you need to do is join groups, friendships take time, put yourself out there, ask people for a coffee’ etc etc.'

Maybe to vent, to share, to shout into the void. She literally said, don't make suggestions.

So what was your reasoning in posting this thread @HadEnoughOfThisLife. I think you’ve mocked/snubbed absolutely everything that’s been suggested. Even MN signposting for support. But you aren’t depressed apparently (you clearly are)
So why bother to post. Unless you thought we’d agree?

Do you find it easier to communicate in writing (you have done here). If so, would you be comfortable writing something to one or both children?

I am so sorry you feel this way OP, it must be very hard. I am also an oddball (hope you don’t mind me calling you that). But what I find helps is having a purpose or goal. Can you write a book, paint, do a project of some sort? Not necessarily talk to people but try to do something outside of work and gym.

I explicitly said I don’t want suggestions to volunteer/join groups/ smell the flowers/find god/start taking anti depressants.

I’m just wondering what is the point of carrying on living.

She said don't suggest social things, not all suggestions given involve mingling with other people. Anyway, good night, hopefully tomorrow the sun will shine and we'll all feel better!

No. This is just not good enough.
No one is obliged to stay alive for the benefit of others.
My body my choice.
I am not suggesting suicide OP. But of course any meaning you find in life has to be on your terms not because it suits others. I hope you can find something, but I get that it's extremely annoying to be told how to live. Absurdism might be a philosophy you could explore?

The point of staying alive is to see what the future may bring.

Your son texts you several times a week, you work, go to the gym, meet up with a friend, have a house and pet. I'm sorry that that isn't enough for you, that my humble opinion of 'a lot' is inadequate for you and that I'm another one of the people who haven't studied your post enough and have instead seen someone apparently in need and taken the time to try to offer a thoughtful reply.
You've got a lot more going for you than many, maybe you should be grateful for what you have or brave enough to make the changes you need to improve it.
If you just want to moan about not having enough attention and being unwilling to do anything about it, to actually reply to suggestions in an unpleasant way, then you should change the title of your post so people don't worry about you uneccessarily. Good luck to you.

I really don't think there is a point. Unless you've got a good family or close and meaningful friendships or something you cherish or a job you love or a hobby that brings you joy then I think it can be really hard to keep going at times. Suicide is pretty grisly though and not an easy way out necessarily.

Thank you!

I am not actively suicidal, or even depressed enough to warrant a visit to the gp btw, more like, I know that when I wake up tomorrow I’ll be thinking, ‘Oh. Here we go again'

I will investigate absurdism...

The response you got was friendly and helpful IMO. Your level of sarcasm is a bit extreme.

Radical acceptance? That everything is indeed the shit sandwich, and we eat it anyway. There's nice fillings in there sometimes too. That we are a little mass of electrical impulses in a watery meaty thing inside a skull controlling some random body whilst floating on a rock in space, as we perform tasks and movements. And feel feelings. And interpret them with our biases and blunt tools.

With brutality, I don't care about you. You are one more sad sack in the midst of all this insanity. I am one too. Yet on the other hand, I care about nothing else but you, in this moment, because somehow your electrical impulses in that pink bubble brain thing have caused you to reach out on here. And I reached right back to you. And we've all taken time to reach you. We don't get this time back, all we really have is now, right now, just this second. And so we've given it to you. And you dare to say that you don't matter? You matter to everyone who give you that second, that singular second containing all we are, that second which could end in the blink of a dying star. It looks like nothing but is in fact everything.

Everything before and after this second technically doesn't exist, and yet here we are together, wondering if it's a simulation or if some chemical in our brain would have led to any one of an infinite number of different outcomes. When you realise that you own the whole of that second, that nothing matters and nothing is "real" unless you say so, then you can live.

I’m thinking about your post about 4 hours meaningful human interaction in your free time.

just to give context, I think mine is much less than that! I have responsibilities which mean I spend more time than that thinking about others and acting for their benefit - shopping, cleaning, cooking, admin, warding off evil etc. but my actual interactions with them probably amount to less than 2 hours face to face per week. Maybe less than one!

Again, this is an aside to my point above about the consolations of philosophy, in that it’s slightly more practical (but not entirely so). But getting an accidental dog absolutely changed my life. My relationship with her turned out to be the thing which was not meaningless to me. It shifted my perspective on what meaning really is, what relationships really are, what it means to be human, what love is, what duty means and can give us.

I also think you might be interested in stoicism. You sound like you might me neurodivergent like me.

The response I got completely ignored what I wrote in my initial post. Why should I be grateful for it?
Do people seriously think that I’ve got to my age without realising that there are walking groups and singles holidays and the like out there, or that I haven’t already tried lots of these things already? If it makes people feel better suggesting that I try those things then good for them!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@LamonicBibber1
Yes, but all those individual seconds of meaningless existence add up to hours of fucking tedium. But thank you for your perspective.

genuine lol. 😂

I think you are bored as well as adrift op, and smart, so I repeat my thing about giving real attention to the question through reading what others have thought on this matter.

@thestudio
A dog would be nice but the cat wouldn’t agree, and however much he ignores me, he is one of the reasons I keep going.

I thought that too. I was so wrong.
a relationship with a dog is ‘relationship’ reduces to its essence.
A relationship with a cat is sort of abusive 🐱😬😂

Before I met DP my body would have been in an advanced stage of decomposition before I’d have been found.
You actually have a lot of face to face interaction.
Millions don’t have a job or one with irl contact.
Does anyone have friends they see face to face weekly anymore?
Happiness is what you do. Do stuff you enjoy. Write down a 5 year plan. Have goals. Connect with some form of spirituality.
You sound like you need a total life upheaval. Move to a new area. Go back to education. Get a new job/volunteer role. Get politically active.
There’s a whole world out there.

The older I get, the more I just think 'life's shit!' I watch movies and read books to distract myself.

I probably am neurodivergent according to modern classifications, but have been like this for long enough to just get on with life (or not!) and accept that I’m always going to be on the fringes of society.

I do feel drawn towards exploring philosophy.