Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

What is the point of carrying on with my life?

197 replies

HadEnoughOfThisLife · 27/09/2025 22:18

I reckon if I dropped dead on a Wednesday night, it would be maybe 4 days before anyone noticed. Apart from the cat. And he’d only care because he wasn’t getting fed and is too fussy to eat my eyeballs and fingertips.
I live alone, no partner, no close friends, two grown up children; one I text a few times a week and speak to on the phone about once a week, the other….he’ll ignore my messages and get in touch when he wants something off me; no other relatives. I work 3 days a week, (Tues/ Weds in the office, Thurs wfh) go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week and go to a couple of other weekly activities. I’m perfectly friendly and chatty at work and these activities but don’t have any contact with those people other than when we are face to face. I meet up for a walk and a coffee with one friend once a week, and another friend once every few weeks, but we rarely engage other than to arrange meet ups. They have families, friends and busy lives. Other than that I have no day to day interactions with anyone except if I buy something in a shop. (“Would you like a bag/your receipt?’ etc) or the occasional “Hi how are you?’ chats with neighbours.

From a philosophical point of view, my life is meaningless. I am not content on my own but can’t seem to make meaningful friendships. I’ve been single for 15+ years, and know I am a bit odd and shy so please don’t say ‘all you need to do is join groups, friendships take time, put yourself out there, ask people for a coffee’ etc etc. I am just not that kind of person, so you could say it is all my own fault.

I feel like Woolworths or the local pub on the corner that closes down. Everyone is sad because it has always been there in the background, but nobody actually went and spent time or money there.

I’m not depressed in the clinical sense, but what is the point of carrying on with my life?

OP posts:
Ennuicanne · 28/09/2025 09:16

Hi. We are very lucky to be here. Our existing is a miracle in itself. Use your time on earth to discover the wonders around us, do not take for granted. You'll be gone soon enough. So much to learn about and discover. Yes you could throw it all now but what a shame you haven't realised the wonder of life.

I was feeling like you, I still do sometimes, but then I read an amazing book, go out for a walk and immerse myself in the glory of nature, learned a new skill that gives me joy and ignited that spark within me, and I realise there is still beauty and joy, if fleeting, to be experienced alongside the pain and drudgery of living. Maybe you need to plug into your creativity, to express your feelings. Learn an instrument or to write, or to create visual art to give meaning to your/our suffering. I hope you can find that spark of joy within yourself, I hope you realise that there are patches of joy that are worth living for. Bw

UnimatrixZeroOne · 28/09/2025 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

user0345437398 · 28/09/2025 09:26

You have regular communication with one of your children. Possibly slightly more than I have with my mum, who I see 1-2 times a year.

If anything happened to my mum I'd be absolutely devastated. I love her, hence speaking to her so much.

You're loved by one of the most important people in the (your) entire world! That's all you need for your life to be meaningful.

Hurumphh · 28/09/2025 09:33

Lifeissodifficult · 27/09/2025 23:22

The point in carrying on your life is that the family of the deceased NEVER recover from the suicide of a family member.

They just don’t. Suicide ruins lives .

Im a professional working in this area , so know only to well the devastation it causes.

Disagree with this. From experience, which I’ll tell you more about, as maybe you can help your clients to move through the grief…

OP, the point in life is fun - the only reason for living is to please yourself and you make your own point.

I’ve been to the depths of suicidal thoughts and feelings of pointlessness after my DH died by suicide. This was after my mum being an aggressive, abusive, religiously obsessed, authoritarian parent (she used to hit me with a stick and I was a real parentified child, a pseudo-spouse to her all my childhood). My dad left when I was little - he’s never shown any interest in me other than dutiful 5 min phone calls from my teenage years to present day which make me feel like shit - like he’s dangling a carrot of attention that I can never get a bite of. My only sibling doesn’t speak to me because he believes that with me being 3yrs older than him I should have rescued us from our mum - he doesn’t get that I was a child too.

My point is that I got to a position in life where everyone left me and nobody had ever really cared about me in the first place. No one shone any little light of attention on me and what I was feeling, and it made me feel like life was pointless and that I was worthless. Until I met a counsellor who started doing that for me, and I started to feel better in myself, and realised that what I’d been missing all along was attention - space to let myself speak, attention, care, someone to listen to me and how I was doing, my needs, wants, desires. We all need that. Being with people in family or activity groups or whatever unfortunately doesn’t necessarily give you attention (your needs, wants, desires), unless you brave sharing a little bit of yourself and you meet a particularly kind and attentive soul.

It sounds like you (same as I did) might have fallen into giving that to everyone around you but not getting it in return from anyone? I think lots of people experience a lack of attention stemming from childhood, because we’re not very good as humans at giving each other true attention and presence. A lot of us go through life experiences that put us in a position of suddenly being alone. Sometimes it’s extreme experiences, sometimes it’s small movements in life that just happen. And it doesn’t help that as a society we vilify and shame people for needing attention! Maybe in a perfect world we’d all get enough during childhood to help us learn to value ourselves by the time we get to adulthood, but that often isn’t the case.

There are times in life when everyone leaves or no one cares, and that’s sad, lonely, annoying to the depths of you, and it would fill anyone with despair. You should absolutely feel all of these things. It makes total sense why you would. We’re a pack species and thrive in connection, so of course you feel terrible if you don’t have it.

The difficult thing is when you’re in that place, you have to be the first one to listen to yourself and make space for how you’re feeling. Because like a PP said, connection comes from vulnerability -

Are you opening up to them. Admitting you feel awful. It's the only way to get to real friendship.

You have to share the real you with people to get real connection. When you get real connection (from within yourself or from another person), it’s like an electrical circuit in your body is connected again and the lights turn back on.

So I’d begin with connecting to yourself. Write in a journal or go out on a walk and have a rant to yourself. Get acquainted with what you need, want, desire. Let yourself feel the grief you’re feeling and allow it to be okay. It is okay to feel it all. Let yourself acknowledge how you’d prefer to feel. And then see what one little tiny thing you can do to listen to yourself and share something of yourself with someone else or find something you can do to feel a little bit of how you’d prefer to feel. It’s hard to claw things back into a connected place, but you can do it. Your alternative is getting stuck in the grief of it all. Maybe right now you need to be in the grief for a while, because that’s how feelings work - you’ve got to feel it to heal it. When you feel it all without questioning, denying, disowning your feelings, the feelings do naturally pass.

When you connect with people and brave sharing the real you, some people are terrible at responding - ranging from the mildly dismissive, to those who are afraid of feelings themselves, to those who don’t know how to work through grief, and those who are downright abusive or shaming. (Including yourself - it’s easy to be all of those things towards our own feelings too and for them to come out at tangents). Don’t be put off. Learn what makes you feel good and what doesn’t, both within yourself and with others. There are people out there who are capable of connecting with the real you, and you have the capacity inside yourself too. Sometimes people will get it wrong, but look for the people who get it right most of the time. Keep trying and weeding until you find some good ones.

Emma6cat · 28/09/2025 09:34

You could get a dog. The cat wouldn't be happy at first but would get used to it (i have had cats and dogs together most of my life). You could rescue a dog that is also feeling hopeless and sad, you could heal together. Plus dog walking will get you outside with nature and chatting to other dog owners.

Hurumphh · 28/09/2025 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

This is an example of lack of connection btw. You’re clearly feeling angry and frustrated at not being listened to, which you’ve rightly expressed, and someone has shamed you for it. Ignore these ones! Keep weeding.

Bedheadbeachbum · 28/09/2025 09:41

OP you need an adventure. An adventure within or outside of yourself.

A new passion that you can dedicate time to exploring / mastering / making a social circle from.

A new job / voluntary role in something completely outside your comfort zone.

Working on a cruise ship or abroad, there are many roles you can apply for, retail, spa, casino etc.

I think you have to step outside of your comfort zone and then things will change up. Sorry you feel like this.

Bonden · 28/09/2025 09:43

OP many or most of the replies show that humans are very very afraid of exploring what it is to be human. The overwhelming urge to minimise your perspective -“join a club!” - and then to punish you for saying those things change nothing. The clutching at straws”if I had what you had I’d be happy” to protect themselves from the reality of a person who has those things and is still … empty.
and of course most people’s messianical determination that they can Make You Happy if only you weren’t so angry/miserable/defensive blah blah.

if you are adhd then short version is you’ve used up all the sources of dopamine historically available and that’s why hoping a running club eg feels absolutely without attraction. And your life now lacks any kind of hyper focus. And you’re energy levels will be rock bottom so you eat badly/don’t go out/withdraw etc. do look into adhd.

second, you were asking for and need new insights that take you to a different understanding, not platitudes. Platitudes and an insistence on them being the cure just make me despair about people. So try reading
Ernest Becker the denial of death, and The Worm at the Core by Sheldon solomon.
it’s bloody hard being a human. I hear you. Good luck.

GiddyStork · 28/09/2025 09:45

OP, it sounds like you've had a busy life, felt important and special, and don't like your current mundane existence, not being the centre stage. Not a single person on here has said anything negative to you, yet your responses have been ungrateful and sarcastic. Volunteering is very different to joining a club, and I imagine when you've done it before it's been for yourself, not genuinely for others. Maybe you should give it another try with a more humble and giving mindset. You might get something out of it. Or do something entirely for yourself, that's fine too...but you can't just say no to everything and be offended by the suggestions offered on the thread you started, asking for help. I think the point to life is to leave the world better than you found it, no matter how big or small. If not that then what? We have all these emotions and we're supposed to feel them all...sometimes life is completely shit, but we can ride it out and try to improve it. You've worked hard for everything you've got and you've got plenty of time left to do whatever you want. I hope you find a new passion and start feeling excitement again, accepting that at times it will be boring and frustrating. You don't have to stay alive because you owe it to others, but you can't take your life (or attempt to) because you're bored. It would destroy them, do they deserve that? You would be missed and you are loved...have you told them you need more? Maybe you should be really open and honest with yourself and your loved ones, they might think this is how you want it to be and be very willing to change.

Bonden · 28/09/2025 09:52

GiddyStork · 28/09/2025 09:45

OP, it sounds like you've had a busy life, felt important and special, and don't like your current mundane existence, not being the centre stage. Not a single person on here has said anything negative to you, yet your responses have been ungrateful and sarcastic. Volunteering is very different to joining a club, and I imagine when you've done it before it's been for yourself, not genuinely for others. Maybe you should give it another try with a more humble and giving mindset. You might get something out of it. Or do something entirely for yourself, that's fine too...but you can't just say no to everything and be offended by the suggestions offered on the thread you started, asking for help. I think the point to life is to leave the world better than you found it, no matter how big or small. If not that then what? We have all these emotions and we're supposed to feel them all...sometimes life is completely shit, but we can ride it out and try to improve it. You've worked hard for everything you've got and you've got plenty of time left to do whatever you want. I hope you find a new passion and start feeling excitement again, accepting that at times it will be boring and frustrating. You don't have to stay alive because you owe it to others, but you can't take your life (or attempt to) because you're bored. It would destroy them, do they deserve that? You would be missed and you are loved...have you told them you need more? Maybe you should be really open and honest with yourself and your loved ones, they might think this is how you want it to be and be very willing to change.

Mate, she asked for no suggestions. She has had that clear request overridden repeatedly. That is disrespectful of the posters, it’s selfish of them to meet their need to feel “nice” and “helpful” at the cost of her need to feel heard and respected. As few people have respect d that, of course she’s going to restate it more loudly more firmly.

She has more awareness of her needs than the posters do so please pay attention to what she’s saying.

BlakeCarrington · 28/09/2025 09:53

Emma6cat · 28/09/2025 09:34

You could get a dog. The cat wouldn't be happy at first but would get used to it (i have had cats and dogs together most of my life). You could rescue a dog that is also feeling hopeless and sad, you could heal together. Plus dog walking will get you outside with nature and chatting to other dog owners.

This is what I did and it has helped so much. I really recommend you looking into it OP, find a breed that will rub along with your cat. My lab just makes me laugh and feel loved, lifts you up a bit.

childofthe607080s · 28/09/2025 09:54

The point is you only get one chance at life but multiple opportunities to change it to something you like and enjoy

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 28/09/2025 10:04

I don’t think life has any meaning or any point. It just is. Most of us just get on with it in a day to day way and, hopefully, learn to recognise the moments of contentment and joy when we’re in them. Some people find meaning through what they do, who they love, a faith they have. Some people don’t. Does it really matter so much, meaning?

I always liked the quote from the TV programme Angel. “If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.”

LadyLolaRuben · 28/09/2025 10:11

LamonicBibber1 · 28/09/2025 00:06

Radical acceptance? That everything is indeed the shit sandwich, and we eat it anyway. There's nice fillings in there sometimes too. That we are a little mass of electrical impulses in a watery meaty thing inside a skull controlling some random body whilst floating on a rock in space, as we perform tasks and movements. And feel feelings. And interpret them with our biases and blunt tools.

With brutality, I don't care about you. You are one more sad sack in the midst of all this insanity. I am one too. Yet on the other hand, I care about nothing else but you, in this moment, because somehow your electrical impulses in that pink bubble brain thing have caused you to reach out on here. And I reached right back to you. And we've all taken time to reach you. We don't get this time back, all we really have is now, right now, just this second. And so we've given it to you. And you dare to say that you don't matter? You matter to everyone who give you that second, that singular second containing all we are, that second which could end in the blink of a dying star. It looks like nothing but is in fact everything.

Everything before and after this second technically doesn't exist, and yet here we are together, wondering if it's a simulation or if some chemical in our brain would have led to any one of an infinite number of different outcomes. When you realise that you own the whole of that second, that nothing matters and nothing is "real" unless you say so, then you can live.

This is brilliant. Thank you x

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 28/09/2025 10:13

Where do you live op, I quite like your directness and I can see glimpses of humour in here. I do think you are depressed though.
💐

zaramysaviour · 28/09/2025 10:22

Hey OP - I'm delurking to say yep, I get what you're saying. I'm leaving the country in two weeks... am currently in Essex though if you're nearby for a coffee. I've found the most frustrating thing is people not GETTING it, which of course leads to backlash when we inevitably pull the drawbridge up...

Squirrelsnut · 28/09/2025 10:32

Do you have any spiritual leanings, OP? I've been watching lots of stuff about NDEs, Jung, Taoism, etc.
I don't know what I believe but learning about spiritual matters has given me a peace and emotional stability I've never had before.

Greenwitchart · 28/09/2025 10:32

You have not mentioned any hobbies OP.

What do you like doing? I would look at a new exercise class, a walking group, learning a new language, joining a drawing and painting group, volunteering locally...

I live on my own again with my cat :). I find joy in things like gardening, fixing up my old house, going to a pilates class each week and running (I did the couch to 5k to start) when I can. I also do little 10 minute guided meditation sessions (just stuff on YouTube) every day. I moved to live by the sea in a small town and that has also helped my mental health because everything is more peaceful and everyone much friendlier than in London where I used to live.

But mainly I have a passion for art and painting that keeps me going.

It sounds like you might have hit a place where you are depressed and would benefit from a chat with your GP.

I have been there and anti-depressants have been really helpful because it is hard to motivate yourself to do anything new when you are feeling that low.

I think it does not hep if we compare ourselves to others and think 'that's what my life should be like''. Instead I think it is better to accept that everyone has their own unique path and take joy in small things and take one small step at a time.

FaceBothered · 28/09/2025 10:41

Emma6cat · 28/09/2025 09:34

You could get a dog. The cat wouldn't be happy at first but would get used to it (i have had cats and dogs together most of my life). You could rescue a dog that is also feeling hopeless and sad, you could heal together. Plus dog walking will get you outside with nature and chatting to other dog owners.

The cat wouldn't be happy at first but would get used to it

You absolutely cannot guarantee that, hence the reason so many cats run off when a dog is introduced to their home, and end up being taken in by neigbours or sent to a re-homing centre.

I know people are trying to help here, but no-one should be trying to persuade the OP to dedicate approximately the next 16 years to a dog she's not keen to have, which could also see her lose her beloved cat.

Lifeissodifficult · 28/09/2025 10:46

Hurumphh · 28/09/2025 09:33

Disagree with this. From experience, which I’ll tell you more about, as maybe you can help your clients to move through the grief…

OP, the point in life is fun - the only reason for living is to please yourself and you make your own point.

I’ve been to the depths of suicidal thoughts and feelings of pointlessness after my DH died by suicide. This was after my mum being an aggressive, abusive, religiously obsessed, authoritarian parent (she used to hit me with a stick and I was a real parentified child, a pseudo-spouse to her all my childhood). My dad left when I was little - he’s never shown any interest in me other than dutiful 5 min phone calls from my teenage years to present day which make me feel like shit - like he’s dangling a carrot of attention that I can never get a bite of. My only sibling doesn’t speak to me because he believes that with me being 3yrs older than him I should have rescued us from our mum - he doesn’t get that I was a child too.

My point is that I got to a position in life where everyone left me and nobody had ever really cared about me in the first place. No one shone any little light of attention on me and what I was feeling, and it made me feel like life was pointless and that I was worthless. Until I met a counsellor who started doing that for me, and I started to feel better in myself, and realised that what I’d been missing all along was attention - space to let myself speak, attention, care, someone to listen to me and how I was doing, my needs, wants, desires. We all need that. Being with people in family or activity groups or whatever unfortunately doesn’t necessarily give you attention (your needs, wants, desires), unless you brave sharing a little bit of yourself and you meet a particularly kind and attentive soul.

It sounds like you (same as I did) might have fallen into giving that to everyone around you but not getting it in return from anyone? I think lots of people experience a lack of attention stemming from childhood, because we’re not very good as humans at giving each other true attention and presence. A lot of us go through life experiences that put us in a position of suddenly being alone. Sometimes it’s extreme experiences, sometimes it’s small movements in life that just happen. And it doesn’t help that as a society we vilify and shame people for needing attention! Maybe in a perfect world we’d all get enough during childhood to help us learn to value ourselves by the time we get to adulthood, but that often isn’t the case.

There are times in life when everyone leaves or no one cares, and that’s sad, lonely, annoying to the depths of you, and it would fill anyone with despair. You should absolutely feel all of these things. It makes total sense why you would. We’re a pack species and thrive in connection, so of course you feel terrible if you don’t have it.

The difficult thing is when you’re in that place, you have to be the first one to listen to yourself and make space for how you’re feeling. Because like a PP said, connection comes from vulnerability -

Are you opening up to them. Admitting you feel awful. It's the only way to get to real friendship.

You have to share the real you with people to get real connection. When you get real connection (from within yourself or from another person), it’s like an electrical circuit in your body is connected again and the lights turn back on.

So I’d begin with connecting to yourself. Write in a journal or go out on a walk and have a rant to yourself. Get acquainted with what you need, want, desire. Let yourself feel the grief you’re feeling and allow it to be okay. It is okay to feel it all. Let yourself acknowledge how you’d prefer to feel. And then see what one little tiny thing you can do to listen to yourself and share something of yourself with someone else or find something you can do to feel a little bit of how you’d prefer to feel. It’s hard to claw things back into a connected place, but you can do it. Your alternative is getting stuck in the grief of it all. Maybe right now you need to be in the grief for a while, because that’s how feelings work - you’ve got to feel it to heal it. When you feel it all without questioning, denying, disowning your feelings, the feelings do naturally pass.

When you connect with people and brave sharing the real you, some people are terrible at responding - ranging from the mildly dismissive, to those who are afraid of feelings themselves, to those who don’t know how to work through grief, and those who are downright abusive or shaming. (Including yourself - it’s easy to be all of those things towards our own feelings too and for them to come out at tangents). Don’t be put off. Learn what makes you feel good and what doesn’t, both within yourself and with others. There are people out there who are capable of connecting with the real you, and you have the capacity inside yourself too. Sometimes people will get it wrong, but look for the people who get it right most of the time. Keep trying and weeding until you find some good ones.

@Hurumphh its amazing that you did.

But actually many many many people don’t. Its about so much more than grief. Thats why the risk of suicide increases for other family members where they have experienced a suicide themselves. Its not my opinion there is a wealth of evidence.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 28/09/2025 11:23

I suggest you get a dog. Cats are great pets in one way but a dog will give you unending loyalty plus they have the added benefit of getting you out of the house every day and you meet people on dog walks.

It sounds like you’re existing at the moment, not thriving I wonder if you are depressed a bit as well. Maybe some antidepressants would help to lift this mood for you?

From what you’ve written, you sound like you are missing a purpose in life.

Hurumphh · 28/09/2025 11:31

But actually many many many people don’t. Its about so much more than grief. Thats why the risk of suicide increases for other family members where they have experienced a suicide themselves. Its not my opinion there is a wealth of evidence.

@Lifeissodifficult yes I understand that many people don’t, and believe me, I very, very much understand how and why the family of suicide, particularly spouses left behind, can end up in that very risky place. I certainly did, and the Samaritans and charities were no help. It wasn’t until I paid for a great therapist that I was able to experience something different, and I’m well aware not everyone is in the position to afford that, which is why I want to pass on bits here. When you talk in absolutes like you did in your post:

“the family of the deceased NEVER recover”

“Suicide ruins lives .”

… you become part of the problem. I shared my story because I want you to know that actually:

  • the family of the deceased find it very difficult to recover, but they can, and do recover and rebuild meaningful and happy lives.

And

  • suicide can ruin lives, but it doesn’t have* *to and it’s not fate.

Don’t you see how by perpetuating black and white thinking, you’re perpetuating the crux of the problem people get to when they’re in that dark place? I.e. everything is shit, nothing is worth living for. When actually, some things are shit, some things we’d be better off without, in some periods of our lives the pendulum has swung too far in one way. AND, other things are great and we can find the spark of connection again.

This will come through in how you are with your clients, however conscious or unconscious you are about it. So I urge you to listen out for other stories. Open yourself to the awareness that life doesn’t work in black and whites, it’s full of greys which include stories of hope and recovery. The people you work deserve to be met with openness, and for that openness to include openness to hope and recovery.

thestudio · 28/09/2025 11:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

QED

Solo · 28/09/2025 11:36

Friendlygingercat · 27/09/2025 23:03

Im single and childfree by choice and quite happy to be on my own. I have some hobbies and run a side hustle. But I have mobility and other issues that are getting worse and am often in a lot of pain Motivating myself to carry on gets harder. It seems that as soon as I reconcile myself to one level of pain and discomfort something happens to make it worse. Then the process begins again. I have set myself a time to end my life and am I am looking at New Year 2026.

This post ^ is very sad to read. I haven't read through the entire thread, and I don't really want to get involved in it as I have enough on my own plate, but Friendlygingercat's post is concerning and I couldn't see a reply to their post.
I wish you'd reconsider Friendlygingercat in fact I hope you do reconsider.

XelaM · 28/09/2025 11:38

HadEnoughOfThisLife · 28/09/2025 01:02

But I don’t want people to be heartbroken by my situation!

Most people are saying ‘you have to find something that gives meaning to your life’ and I am saying ‘why?’ To make others feel better? If I killed myself (calm down, I’m not going to!!) they might be a bit sad, so I should carry on living a shit life so that they don'tz feel bad?

I don’t know…I think a lot of it is that I am not anybody’s No. 1.

Maybe take some responsibility for your own life and the way you're living it? You are the No.1 person in your own life - just like everyone is in theirs. It's no one's responsibility to make your life better if you don't want to do it yourself for you.