need a handhold. mental health worst its ever been

[sausagepastapot]

Hello, is anyone up. I am at the lowest ebb. I cannot see how life is ever going to get better. I have made some major mistakes. some are really not my fault at all but it's going to mean we either lose our house or I have to work until I drop dead with nothing to show for it. Why is being alive so unbearable.

I'm awake. Didn't want to read and run.

Have you spoken to shelter?

Hugs op.

is it an option to sell up and move somewhere smaller/cheaper?

thanks guys. I do think we should be able to remortgage but it'll mean paying out huge mortgage until my death. it feels like too much. its the deep self hatred, shame and total lack of sleep that is really tough tonight.

Sorry you are feeling like this OP. Why are you struggling so much?

I would sell up and move to a cheaper area, mental health is so important. I hope you can find some moments of peace today, I always try to get out and stay busy if I'm feeling down. Remember that everything is temporary

Sorry to read this op. It sounds really difficult. Struggling with feeling so low is awful I’ve been there.
You will feel better and there will be better days. It just doesn’t feel like it i know.
Once you feel slightly better you may be able to see a way through your problems. I don’t mean to sound trite- I know it’s bloody hard x

thank you all.

If you can remortgage and get stable in your current house, then do it. When you are feeling stronger, make a plan to downsize for a smaller mortgage.

When it gets light today, take a walk and look for some early spring flowers or signs of new growth. Find some small positives in the world.

Hope you managed to get back to sleep @sausagepastapot Everything looks bleak in the middle of the night so I also hope the morning brings a different perspective on your problems.

Having a huge mortgage is a huge toll on my mental health too.
But I'm trying to come to terms with it as in one way or the other we all need a place to live until we drop dead.
Consider the transaction costs for selling up the house. Imagine if you have a big mortgage your home probably has a good market value. So add real estate agent fees and stamp duty for a new place and the removal costs, and all the other minor bits when moving to a new place (there's always something that needs fixing!).
this all will probably add all into at least one year of rent!
Thinking about that helps me rationalise the mortgage payments.
Also making small additional contributions towards the mortgage helps. Even if it's £10/20 month.
Hope you stay strong!