Asmr half dressed women

[Kelly4871]

I am being unreasonable my partner watches asmr videos supposed to help with anxiety sleep etc. But can't help notice that all the people's channels that he's subscribed to are the opposite to me there all slim and beautiful flat stomach no stretchmarks etx Whereas im 16 stone and not beautiful.
Does anyone think maybe my partner doesn't find me attractive??

I looked her she's not even a big woman.
It's mostly my size that bothers me but the stretchmarks and jelly just add to it making me look even worse I'm 16 stone i need a miracle even that means starving myself I'd do it to lose the weight.

She's lovely though I'm not hence I deserve it I'd of told them to let me bleed to death the way I feel at the moment.

You absolutely need to see your GP as soon as possible.

I watch ASMR videos most nights, they definitely help me relax and drift off to sleep.

You are the beautiful woman he fancies. You are the he loves. He is with you. Pointless Comparison is a recipe for deep unhappiness.

Sometimes being a bit hormonal and/or insecure is a thing and he probably doesn't fully realise what you are feeling and importantly, why. So tell him this. Speak in general terms without going there on the ASMR stuff or having an argument. Build understanding, but be careful not to make someone you love feel like they are doing something wrong for no reason.

Not sure im beautiful he wouldn't be looking if that was the case??

He doesn't tell me im beautiful or anything he doesn't even compliment me when I do my hair and make-up he hasn't complemented me for about a year now.
Says he does find me attractive but why isn't he making me feel good???

You need to speak to your GP. Please contact them or your HV ASAP

Your partner loves you. He's with you because he loves you. He'll love your body even more because you have a beautiful baby thanks to it.

Just because he's looking at asmr pages doesn't mean he fancies them or compares them to you. You're who he's chosen to be with, to have children with

OP, it’s ok to want to be slimmer. But you need to do it slowly and steadily, especially if you are/want to continue breastfeeding.
Some things you mention will improve by themselves - stretch marks don’t vanish completely, but they do fade and become make less noticeable.
2 months postpartum is nothing. The jelly belly feeling will continue to improve over a period of months.
Is there anything you used to do pre-children that made you feel beautiful that you have stopped? Doing you nails? Colouring your hair? Doing your makeup everyday? A particular class (dance/yoga/swimming etc) that made you feel good? Start doing some of those things again.

Hello OP. I wrote on your other thread, but please call the GP. They will have heard it all before. Your feelings seem quite intense and I am wondering if you could do with a little more support?

I had my nails and eyebrows last week I've had my hair coloured it still doesn't make me attractive enough for him I give up

Please speak to your GP, call them as soon as they open today and tell them how you’re feeling.

For what it’s worth though I “watch” all kinds of ASMR, but as it’s to get to sleep I have my eyes closed so what they look like is neither here nor there.

No, OP, you’ve misunderstood my idea. I’m not suggesting doing these things so your partner finds you attractive. I’m suggesting doing them because it might make you feel more like you again and that might make you believe him when he’s doing and saying things that show he loves you.
All of us are surrounded my media showing very very attractive people (of both sexes). It’s not reasonable to ask a partner to never watch tv or films, to never look at any pictures of attractive people. We just have to trust that they are attracted to us and want to be with js and that noticing someone else is attractive - particularly when it’s just a media personality - does not mean that would (or could!) trade us for them.

Hello OP,
We're sorry you're feeling so low. We can see that you're getting some good support from other Mumsnetters here on your thread but we thought we'd post some links to the help that's available to you in real life.

We'd urge you to take a look at an organisation called PANDAS Foundation which was set up to support families through PND & AND. Their webpage is pandasfoundation.org.uk and they have a free helpline, available 7 days a week, from 11am-10pm - 0808 1961 776.

Here too is a link to the www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-natal-depression/treatment/ NHS webpages on postnatal depression. And a link to out Mental Health Resources

We really hope things start getting easier for you soon.
Best wishes
MNHQ

Is your husband slim and beautiful?

He is slim he's never gotten fat jammy sod and hes beautiful to me

Has he suggested that you're not attractive enough for him in anyway?

Is he still affectionate? You said yesterday he wanted sex but you thought he could just watch those girls instead - but there's nothing sexual about him watching those videos.

He does show affection yeah just me I dont believe him and he's more a touchy type rather than compliments which I also like he told me I was beautiful about a year ago never said it since

We're told all the time actions speak louder than words - what do his actions say? Some people aren't just natural compliment givers, but it sounds like he does find you attractive. The issue here is not him, it's your self-esteem. Call your doctor and tell them how you're feeling. There is lots of help out there.

There's no secret as to why the most successful social media channels are those which feature people who are most widely regarded as attractive. Humans enjoy looking at humans they find pleasing to look at, and the aesthetic standards in society currently mean that people with the slim/athletic body type you describe are most likely to appeal to the broadest range of people.

That isn't to say that I don't think there would be a fair few men who would enjoy ASMR videos featuring larger women - adult video sites include ample evidence to support this! But ASMR videos have a smaller overall following and social media algorithms being what they are, someone looking for ASMR videos will be directed to the channels with the most subscribers.

WRT your partner in particular, even if he does consider these women to be physically attractive, that doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive too! Many men are attracted to a wide range of body types. It certainly sounds like he is interested in you physically, and a committed relationship has emotional and mutual support aspects that supplement and intertwine with the physical side. I would hope that he understands and appreciates you much more deeply than he does these women, as even if he is attracted to them it is a passing aesthetic appreciation, a purely visual thing.

Rightly or wrongly, men for thousands of years have enjoyed looking at paintings, sculptures, drawings and more recently photographs of beautiful women while also being in happily committed relationships with other women to whom they are evidently attracted.

Its how they dress in revealing clothing i can't dress up nicely because of my size I'd love to be able to do something nice for him in that way

Of course you can dress in revealing clothing OP. There’s no size limit on that. You would be you in revealing clothes, and not someone else.
You also don’t have to reveal everything all at once or in every domain of your life.
So, if you like your boobs or your legs, you can absolutely find a dress shows off one or the other (or both) and wear it. That could be at home in the bedroom, for an at home dinner-date, or you could get someone to babysit and where your sexy dress out for a fancy dinner with your husband.

I've worn low cut tops and he hasn't said anything about it hes made no comments to say he likes how i look.
I just dont like the type of women he's looking in the back of my mind he finds them more appealing than me I've been cringe for the past 2 days over this I feel miserable I don't even want to eat I don't feel like I deserve to eat i felt guilt for eating a sandwich yesterday like I shouldn't have eaten that at my size I'm all these crazy thoughts that.

I've worn low cut tops and he hasn't said anything about it hes made no comments to say he likes how i look

But were you brushing a silicone pastry brush slowly across a metal sieve? Or folding marbled paper while whispering a shopping list? If not, you can't really compete with the videos.

Seriously, he just likes ASMR. It's weird, yes, but it's not about the ladies.

Hi OP. Hope today went OK. Did you manage to call your GP?

I can't deal with a lover/partner getting off on other people so I don't have them any more. I have come to terms that I can't be all things to all people and vice versa and compromise and sharing BOTHERS me, so I don't do it anymore. I have had all the experiences I want with that.

If you are going to be in a relationship, you do have to do that; you have to be understanding and compromising. They should be discreet and respectful at the VERY LEAST.

That is the very least...you could not have to deal with him completely...imagine 😍