Peri or ADD?

[Ffsbrainscrambled]

I have always been disorganised and prone to losing things. Struggled with weight and prone to tantrums at home. At the same
time, I had academic success at school and uni with exams. I could always pull it out of the bag at the 11th hour at work too and am known for ‘great ideas’. I hate paperwork and admin and tidying up. I find these harder than I should. Since having children, the brain fog has got worse though I’ve managed to organise parties/tutors/admissions etc without any disasters to date. Since hitting mid-40s, I am finally wondering if I have ADD (no hyperactive element) or whether it’s peri-menopause (though periods are unchanged and still regular). I have always embarrassingly had the odd thick chin hair which I try to deal with. Before going to my useless GP, I want to be armed with what sorts of tests to ask for. My childhood was tricky but I have never had severe depression and don’t want drugs for this. I wonder if ADD drugs will help with focus and weight loss and some outbursts or if it is HRT I need. I do not need any meds which pile on the pounds as I’m dangerously heavy now. I will seek medical
help but wanted a bit of signposting first: Thank you!

I guess no one can relate or this topic has been done to death! Shocker of a day, losing things, having major meltdown at home at poor DC before being forced into the office due to my own lack of organisation and losing a vital piece of kit! Then one thing after another went wrong (house we wanted has gone under offer, favourite bit of jewellery broke, got blame for something I was for once not guilty of! Anyway, is it possible to feel like a child and an old woman at the same time?!

You sound very similar to me. i am 43. I have started hrt and was diagnosed with Adhd over the past year. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.

Menopause (can) makes adhd worse.

It's hormone-related. Even if you coped before, you might not now.

I could have written this. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Looking back on my early bookworm behaviour, I can see that a lot of it was self protection. My tantrums and depressive episodes were both most likely overwhelm from living in chaos and noise. My hormonal chaos has been an extra challenge, which distracted from any other possible causes. I've had some serious and lengthy episodes of depression and since having my 1stborn I've been proactive in seeking help, drugs, counselling, blood tests, whatever might save me from ruining my children basically.

It's been a long slow process, and honestly and very sadly, there have been no breakthroughs that haven't come from non-NHS sources. Since an early horror on medication that was just wrong for me, I've done my research - but we know how GPs don't like that, so I think the one thing that has helped me get taken seriously is keeping careful track of symptoms over several months. Not the easiest task, but that gave me very clear patterns I could refer to.

Also, lose all your pride. You can't do that female thing of saying it's a bit tricky but you are coping if you are really not sure how you are getting through the minutes. You have to be brutally honest. After a year on the waiting list for a specialist appt, I started calling around to get the right number for the clinic I'd been referred to and letting each person who might help know that I was on my last thread of survival skills and desperate for my life to end. I'm on HRT now and it's made a huge difference - not quite there yet, but hopeful. When I'm settled, I'll start thinking more about the ADD.

That was a tad overdramatic. I'm on my first cycle trying utrogestan and while it's not as much doom as the combined patches, I'm definitely not a bundle of joy.

Oh god I thought the HRT would be the magic pill?! Is there any point in going on it if periods are unchanged? Thank you to all of you for sharing. It’s super helpful. Aren’t we as women just driven around the bend as too much is expected of us? Are we really needing to be medicalised because of what should be a normal process or is it society that is fucked and gas lighting us? OK so maybe that rant means I need help :-) . I do have access to private medical insurance. Should I ask for a referral to an endocrinologist or a psychiatrist who is expert on attention deficits?

@Gentleness That’s interesting re bookworm behaviour. I too feel furious at chaos but I only need to walk into a room for it to resemble a tip within five minutes. I have an older neighbour who insists I mustn’t be bothered by mess otherwise I would do something about it but I am!! I just find I can spend an hour tidying a room and it looks barely any tidier than before. Yet I am lucky enough to have a cleaner - till I get fired for a major error I will no doubt make - and she can transform the house in four hours.

I have just read this and it’s a revelation! Anyone know a good ADHD coach?! Also, are there any types of HRT that don’t add to weight gain or even better, help you lose it?

Ffs forgot the link: www.additudemag.com/add-and-menopause-how-hormones-affect-adhd-symptoms/

Good question and one ive. been thinking about too. Which one to go to doctor with first.

This is me! I can't complete a task, want to be organised but spend most of my time faffing, at work I've noticed after 15-20 minutes I need to do something else, start loads of tasks at once then just give up and end up more disorganised.

I hear you @ellieboolou! In my case I completely forget that I’m doing a task and get sidetracked by another. I always have a million windows open and only ever close them in one go. Windows seems such a stupid, manual system.

I have about 50 pages open on my phone!

50 pages is nothing @Rummikub . Wait till you see my inbox!

Other symptoms: sudden onset of tingly dry tongue two months ago. Not Covid. Feels like thrush but not. Dry mouth. And have had eustacian tube disorder for decades. Also fluttering heart on occasion. Coincided with Covid vaccine but am very pro vaccine so don’t want to start health scare over this.

🤣🤣 exactly what I do! Also I just don't get instructions anymore (not sure I was ever good at them to begin with). Someone will tell me several times what to do and I still can't do it!

I'm almost 45 but feel like a dinosaur

46 here! In many ways it got very bad for a while about ten years ago and I blamed it on Diet Coke as I really did seem to get forgetful drinking it

I've only just seen this and it could describe me. I have an autism diagnosis but I think ADHD might fit better/ as well. I'm really struggling at the moment and hoping it's not menopause but wondering.

@IdisagreeMrHochhauser How old are you? I too wonder about autism but am able to read people usually pretty well - and have sixth sense when they’re in trouble/up to no good! Am slightly tone deaf in social interactions though my day job involves being paid to communicate. I can’t seem to help myself and sound like a total pest in small social settings.

45 but I'm also trying to conceive so I absolutely don't want to be in perimenopause although realistically I know it's likely.

Been having a very stressful few years and am way beyond my capacity for life events. I've just started taking CBD oil and it seems to be helping to calm things down. V early days - it only arrived on Saturday!

Ooh any recommended brand? Best of luck with conceiving too x

my unread emails number. ..
676

Which doesn’t seem too bad compared to my other email address with around 10 000. It’s overwhelming so every so often I’ll delete 10 emails

The article posted earlier was interesting and I completed the quiz in it.i scored really highly

I have the max 500 tabs open on my phone and tens of thousands of unread emails. I have about 6 email accounts for various different things.

Just read that article. I always have phone phobia which I put down to autism post diagnosis but things are definitely much worse with processing lately. I am under huge amounts of stress though so this won't be helping.

I saw an advert with Claudia Winkelman in it so I went for that brand. I don't usually go for celebrity endorsements but in this field where I think it's important to find a legitimate company, I'm hoping that she and her agent have done the research into this one before associating with it.

Right definitely going nuts. Near my period, I can have a 48 hour dip but am weeks away yet am wiping away tears that William’s 40th birthday snaps include no pictures of his mother. I’m not a royalist. WTF is wrong with me? I get annoyed with my own DC when they’re in the house but sentimental about being an empty nester as soon as they’ve left. They’re eight and ten FFS!