I'm sat in a cafe holding back the tears. Don't have anywhere to go. Can't bear to go home.
He is doesn't love me and is divorcing me. He says my actions due to my mental illness are to blame.
Despite extensive therapy to address my insecurities and anxiety, I feel I'm getting worse. I can't see things ever being ok again. I don't sleep much and when I do, I dream he still loves me; so waking to realise it was just a dream is devastating.
You may say why love him if he is leaving you like this... I have tried to stop loving him... tried hating him. I've failed. I was treated very badly some time ago and didn't address it. So I carried my hurt and insecurities along with me into my marriage.
I don't know how to move forward. I've never felt so alone. I've never felt this bad in my life (and believe me, that's saying something).