COUNSELLOR WANTS ME TO GO BACK ONTO AD'S

[lissie]

been off them since i found out i was pg in jan and have so far managed to fight going back on them. saw him today and he thinks i could use the "extra help". feel like such a failure!

Well what do you think about going back on them? Ultimately its up to you and you should try not to think of it as failure. Depression is an illness like any other. Would you think of someone who has to take insulin for diabetes a failure??

Think of them as a helping hand and a short term measure. If they work for you then try and think of them in a more positive light.

i know, im just disappointed in myself.

saw him again today (still not back on them) and he's worried about me. looks like thats it then. i'll never get off the effing things!

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE WOMAN!!!! Yes, I am shouting at you

I'm on them too and also feel like a failure but am coming to realise that I'm not.

thank you. im just frustrated, i was doing so well.

I know, but you've had another tough time lately. You'll get there - you're doing great!

thank you. got to see gp tomorrow re dosage

well, back on sertraline but only 50mg (lowest dosage ever) im so cross tho! she asked if we were still ttc "yes" i say. so she launched into a speech about how irresponsible it is to take ads while ttc, implied that my ep was caused by taking them. i told her that my counsellor, regular gp and consultant have all said that there was no evidence to suggest that sertraline had any ill effects in pg and was an AD that would be prescribed to bf mothers. she said that i'd had 5 mcs now, there must be something behind it.
i reminded her that my ante-natal and post-natal care with ds was appalling (bladder misplaced/raging uterine infection/huge blood loss etc) she said, well its easy to place blame!

By this point i was tired of banging my head against the wall so said that if dh and i decide not to ttc for a bit we will use condoms, so she told me that the MAP worked for 72hrs and i should consider taking it! .

i very calmly reminded her that the MAP increases the risk of EP and im already high risk, she glanced at my notes and said oh, so you are. walked out in the end. arrrrrrgggghhhh why do i get the crap doctors?!

Don't hesitate to take ads, if you need them, you need them. Taking positive control of your health by opting for ads instead of driving yourself mad through stress and anxiety makes you strong and clever, not a failure.