Is it normal to find life a relentless struggle or am I weird?

[malificent7]

I had v bad mental health as a young adult...think bipolar, eating disorder, hospitalisation.
I am now more stable but I still get anxious. Mostly money is a problem. I feel rising panic everytime I get a bill. I work as a teacher which I'm leaving as I find it too much and I struggle hugely with workplace politics.
Dp and did are my saving grace...

Dd even...but I find providing for her harder and harder.

Also doing supply today I told two students to stop taking the piss out of my watch..as they were..they then told SLT that I said 'piss.'.I got told off for saying piss whilst they got off Scott free for basically bullying me.

You’re not weird. But maybe you have unresolved stuff lurking that fuels you thinking like this?

Why do you get a rising panic when you get a bill? If you let yourself think about it is there something that emotion might be linked to in your past? Sometimes it’s just about putting things back where they belong in the past so they don’t interfere with your present.

If you get this anxiety again try thinking to yourself ‘I’m having a flashback’ - it might be an emotional flashback to a past event even if you don’t have a picture memory with it. Sometimes labelling it a flashback can help you get your rational brain back in charge.

I think the daily grind can wear anyone down and make life feel relentless and a struggle.

The school issue is separate, the children were trying to get a reaction and, in my opinion, you were unprofessional to swear at/to them. They may have been trying to get under your skin but it's your job not to lose control and react in the way you did.

IMO saying 'piss' isn't swearing but then I have a mouth like a sewer so I must be immune!

maybe teachng isn't for you at this point. i know kids can be terrors. some of the things we did to teachers WAS bullying, we didn't know it, or didnt care, and back then didnt know how it could have affected them.

i think with your issues, you probably do't need a high stress environment which teaching can be for numerous reasons. i'm not defending the pupils, but you could have joked? or ignored them? or not wear a watch?

Not wear a watch???!!!! I'm retraining in September to get out of teaching...cannot wait! In the meantime I'm exam marking..
I do need to find a source of income in the meantime that dosnt involve kids!

i didnt mena anything.

i just wouldn't give them any ammunition, that's all. its not your fault but then it's about takig the high road sometimes.

just that if teaching is hard, then it woud not help your anxiety.

I know...it just popped out without me thinking...I had no idea the kids would be offended! They swear like troopers!

I meant it at in a casual way but they jumped on the opportunity to tell on me.

I think life is a relentless struggle for a lot of people but we are made to feel that we can't let it show. We have to present a happy successful image to the world and social media reinforces that.

Why don’t you try online teaching? English is always needed. I think maths teachers also find it easy to fine online teaching work. Children online are much better mannered as it’s usally one one one but you can teach adults too.