Can't see a future. Everything is ruined.

[Louise990]

This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life and I should be organising things and getting stuff ready for the arrival of my baby in a few weeks but instead I'm bawling my eyes out and I can't see a future.

I love my unborn baby more than anything and I love my partner just as much but I hate myself and I don't want to be here anymore. I can't cope.

Why do you think everything is ruined? Have you told your midwife how you're feeling? She'll be able to refer you so you can get extra help, as well as giving you emotional support (((hug))).

It sounds as if you are experiencing antenatal depression. Please see your gp or other health professional as soon as possible and tell them how you feel. You can, and deserve to be helped.

Please talk to your mw and gp, I wish I had taken something when I was pg instead of wasting the last 4 years

Louise, I hope you're feeling a little better. I wonder whether you should call ocd action for some advice about what support is available to you as a mum to be. There is also maternal ocd who may know about specific resources for pregnant/new mums, but their contact line is not available till September - they suggest calling ocd action for now.

www.ocdaction.org.uk/getting-support/help-and-information-line

www.maternalocd.org/aboutus.php

You could also ask your midwife/therapist what options there might be for intensive support in the run up to the birth. I don't know whether it is possible to go to a mother and baby unit before the birth and get intensive support. I am not saying you need to do that, but if you feel you might need to ask them what might be possible.