I feel life is pointless and the see no reason to continue.

[nethunsreject]

That's it really. It seems rational to me. The pain I am in from long term mh problem is so great that if it were a physical illness, no one would condemn me for wanting to die. I am staying for my kids but it is intolerable and not sustainable.
Mh service are doing their best but haven't the resources.
I know I have much to be grateful for but it is meaningless when I am in such pain.

Im sorry :(

Thank you spb. It is all I think about .

((HUGS)) You posted here. That means you still have a flicker of hope in there somewhere. Don't give up. Take life hour by hour, minute by minute if you have to.

Thanks LL, yes I guess I do, but it is just so exhausting living like this. Like a permanent crisis.

Try to hold on. This might be a particularly bad day. Maybe you need to try a new medication. If you feel suicidal please go to A&E and tell them.

I'm so sorry.

Thanks, I appreciate your replies.
I feel like this always, it is getting worse. I am struggling to tell dh.

(((hugs))) So sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. It can be very hard to find the energy to keep going when things have been bad for a while.

It's really good you posted. You say things are getting worse - is it time for a review with your GP/CPN/Psych?

Thanks ciq, I will. Want to tell dh but hard to find the words .
Outwardly I am coping, inside I'm dying.

Do you want to tell us more? Can you write DH a letter?

Thinking of you today nethuns (((hugs)))

Yes sorry I have no advice. Still thibking about you.
Is the mh problem exacerbating or causing other mh problems eg anxiety that could be treated separately?
When was the last time your medication was reviewed?
You must be exhauated :(
I love your name btw!

Hi, yeah I'm still here! Thanks for the messages, I appreciate it.
Don't feel as bad for some reason today, still crap though and going to gp Monday x

Hang in there, going to see the doc is the best thing you can do.

Net

I feel like this a lot. I'm glad you are having a better day today. What kind of help are you actually getting?

I feel like this a lot. I hide it from everyone except my therapist, psychiatrist and GP. My DH knows but probably doesn't get the extent of the suicidal thoughts.

Talk here when you feel bad. I find that telling someone even the internet helps when I want to do something to myself.

Thanks. Yeah, not getting any real help, just one waiting list after another [sad. I'm on ads, big dose. They are useless. They make me function without feeling any different. When I was visibly ill with depression it was better, at least I felt real. Now I just feel dead, and I mean that in the literal sense. I honestly think I am dead. It is scary.

How long have you been on the meds and what are you on? Have you been on any other ad's?

Net I know how you feel, I say that, sat at the laptop crying my eyes out because my life is shit. Most of the time I feel like I'm wrong to feel the way I do, because I'm expected to suck it up and get on with it, I'm not allowed to cry in front of my family, so I have to wait til I'm alone before I can. My own mother accused my of neglected my DD, my house is a mess, I cant get a job, I have no money, I cant seem to lose weight. Top it all off, in 7 days its my 31st birthday and I feel like I havent lived a day of it, I've just existed for the world to shit on.

Sorry for ranting on your thread, once it opens up, it pours out.

LL, I've been on sertraline, 200mg, for about 4 months, I was on 100 for a few years up till then. I think I need a review, but it is taking so long for psychiatric appt

Sertraline worked for me for 6 years and then stopped. It happens. Do you have a date for your appointment?

No date yet . It's ridiculous.

Can your gp or mental health team influence how quickly you can see the psychiatrist? If you're feeling suicidal then surely you must be prioritised. Sorry I'm not in the UK, don't understand how your system works.

Hello

I had 200mg of sertraline and it really didn't do anything. Been moved to escitalopram at top dose of 20 mg and I'm beginning to function again though I still feel awful like jumping off a bridge more often than not. It's v odd

I'm lucky to have insurance through work so am getting lots if help though nothing is instant.

Keep asking about the waiting list

Thinking of you nethuns

Hi, thank you guys.
I had a dreadful day yesterday, not as bad today.

I've the GP again on Friday first thing and he's arranging psych for next week, so that it good.

Hiya nethuns, sorry to hear about yesterday, but glad today was a bit better. Sounds like your GP is on the case which is good. Are you getting help with your dc at the moment? I find mine demanding and I'm well at the mo...