My abusive ex fucked up my life?

[superstarheartbreaker]

How can I get over this feeling?

Superstar, can you get to counselling? Relate might be able to see you at very low cost if money is an issue. My experience is that you will start to feel better in time but you have to let yourself get angry about it first. Then you can begin to examine what it is about how you feel that led you to fall into the relationship in the first place. Then you can protect yourself in the future and find some inner peace. The main thing is you got out! Look after yourself.