Pychotic.

[selfdestructivelady]

I've been seeing things my dad my ex who raped me and ghosts. I'm also scared dh is a secret rapist and will rape me. I'm scared to sleep I can't call crisis because my psychiatrist said if I'm constantly up there social services will be informed. I clamp my eyes shut to block out the images but I still hear them. I have my ear phones in but they are not stopping me from hearing things.

It's possible I could do that when I am well but at the moment I'm too weak to do that.

I understand x

I called crisis they said call the on duty officer and see if I can have my meds increased.

How long has it been going on?

It's a good sign that you're fully aware you're hallucinating, tho I fully understand that it can get exhausting after a while.

I'm glad to hear that you called them. I hope the increase in meds will help.

Psychiatrist won't do nothing he's blaming my borderline.

I think you should probably make a formal complaint to the Medical Director of your Trust (should be on their website)

I phoned crisis back up and they said they only have junior doctors there so won't go against what a consultant says. I'm too weak to go about making a formal complaint. I feel like my psychiatrist is bullying me.

The voices are now saying I'm worthless and only cause problems to everyone and that I should kill myself.

If you feel like your Psychiatrist is bullying you then you should make a complaint. If you dont feel that you can complain directly to teh Trust then you should complain via PALS and they will look into your complaint. PALS hold a lot of clout and no Trust likes receiving complaints through them.
PM me your local trust and ill find the details for PALS if you like.

OP it sounds like you really need some RL support. Is there someone you trust who can advocate for you? You deserve respectful treatment. Your life has worth x

I've phoned my mum who is sat with me.

Could you get your mum to help contact PALs? Maybe could see GP and they could help get you someone else, or do you have a CPN?

If it helps any, I saw my psychiatrist last week for a meds review. I'm taking an antidepressant combined with an antipsychotic, I complained to him that it was making me fat so I wanted to change. He suggested Quitiepine and that is might also be good for anxiety. They should listen to you and try things with you. It is a shame but yours sounds awful. there seem to be a few at our mental health trust- if you didn't want to feel you were 'complaining' as such PALs are there to sort out things too, they are meant to be really helpful.

I'm sorry you're seeing such an obstructive psych. Do you have a crisis team? They usually have a psych attached to the team who is not one of the community psychs.

You have my sympathy.

When you're feeling better, ask for a proper full assessment for borderline and refute the diagnosis without it.

I know that its too much for you at the moment and I'm really sorry that you're struggling like this.