Came face to face with my abusive ex partner can't stop shaking.

[Crawling]

When I was a teenager I was in a very abusive relationship including physical and emotional abuse and rape.

Yesterday I had to talk to him. I had nightmares all night and I can't stop shaking and crying. What has upset me most is even after everything and all this time I still love him.

I had to sit and watch him all over his girlfriend. Wondering if he treats her the same or if my mental illness really was the reason he abused me.

Oh you poor thing were you on your own? I imagine it was quite a shock to see him. Here for hand holding if you need it.

Why did you have to see him?

Crawling, you do know that your mental illness wasn't the reason he abused you, don't you? and yes he probably is still the same, or just a more sophisticated version.

Congratulations - you got rid of him, you got through yesterday and you had the strength to post on here this morning. Well done on being the one who got away from him.

BTW, you're allowed to love the nice bits of him still, but allow hindsight to balance them against the bad bits.

Hugs for you today.

It was at a friends special occasion and I had to talk to him or explain why I wouldn't and I didn't want to explain on my friends special day.

It was hard but I'm stronger now than I was then.

How are you today?

I'm feeling much better today thank you I even got out of the house for a bit.

Good opxx