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Original poster

Worried that I may have depression and this may mean I will always fail

25 replies

FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 19:34

I've got a lot going on. A lovely partner, but I'm scared to talk to him about how I am feeling, an abusive ex. Been signed off for stress but work pressurising me to go back early.
Have been reading the samaritans website :-(

OP posts:
desertgirl · 23/06/2013 19:41

even if you are depressed, why would it mean you will always fail? it would just mean that you need a bit of extra help for a while.

is there someone else you can talk to about how you are feeling? would it help to type it?

Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 19:45

It may do, I have to pop out for a bit first. Thanks for responding

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Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 20:31

My boss wants me to go back on Tuesday and I'm not sure i will be able to

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Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 20:38

really struggling

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Triumphoveradversity · 23/06/2013 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 20:41

My boss wants me to cut my time short and tell my GP that I have spoken to him and am fit for work

OP posts:
Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 20:41

Signed off for another week

OP posts:
desertgirl · 23/06/2013 20:46

There is no way your boss should be doing that; if you have been signed off, particularly for stress (work related? does your boss know that is what it is?) he should not be adding to that stress.

I think you do need some help from a union or ACAS or whatever, in terms of standing up to the boss. Are you getting enough support with the stress (depression?) that is the reason you are signed off in the first place - has the GP been good?

Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 20:48

Gp good. Yes, he knows it's stress. He said the things that are casuing it are all "solvable" and I should send him a list and he'll "solve it"

OP posts:
desertgirl · 23/06/2013 20:50

Is he part of the reason for the stress?

Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 20:53

No. It's the people under him

OP posts:
LostInWales · 23/06/2013 20:53

Your boss is majorly in the wrong here. Take as much time as you need and get better properly.

As for 'always going to fail', not at ALL, it just means that right now you feel this way, not that it is true. It is a symptom of your depression and as soon as you can see it for that, you can tell yourself it is just a symptom and you ARE going to start to feel better very soon. People who tend to get depression are in fact creative and intelligent and some of the worlds best people IMHO Wink

Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 21:01

Thanks Lost

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desertgirl · 23/06/2013 21:04

If you had appendicitis, he wouldn't be calling you like this, would he?

You need to get better. Then he can fix things so you don't get to this position again. If you had broken your leg falling down stairs, fixing the stairs wouldn't mean you could take the plaster off....

You need to look after yourself, and he needs to back off and let you do that. Do you have a union or anyone you can call tomorrow to explain that to him?

Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 21:12

No I don't.

OP posts:
desertgirl · 23/06/2013 21:13

would your partner call? I think you need someone else to do it for you, so he can't lean on you and make you feel bad.

Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 21:35

The gp might. I had one call an employer years ago (for a different reason, the gp was being a bitch), but if I see the same one I saw last time he might.

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Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 21:38

He told me my reasons for being stressed were "trivial" and "solvable"

OP posts:
desertgirl · 23/06/2013 21:53

It doesn't matter whether they are or not, you are where you are. Could be worth talking to the GP about calling if you can.

Hang on in there... You will get through this....

lemonmuffin · 23/06/2013 22:06

How dare he say your reasons are 'trivial' Fedup.

Ignore him and go back to work when you are ready. He won't think an employment tribunal is 'trivial' when he gets taken to one for the way he is treating you.

LostInWales · 23/06/2013 22:26

Just going to bed but I wanted to add; a much cleverer friend than I said, in these instances always make sure you document everything. So where he phones and says things are 'solve able' and you should come back sooner or you should phone your GP and say you have discussed it with him and are fine to come back sooner, ALWAYS send an email back straight away detailing the conversation and saying 'just to clarify our chat' or some such, so in future you have a paper trail if needed. It might not seem important now but could be useful in the future.

Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 23/06/2013 23:37

Yes. I recorded our conversation.

OP posts:
Elquota · 24/06/2013 21:23

OP, in your thread title you say you're worried you may have depression, but you don't say what your symptoms are, although you're clearly under a lot of stress. What has your GP advised?

jessjessjess · 24/06/2013 23:32

You won't always fail. That is the depression talking. It's not the truth.

Original poster
FedUpCantKickoff · 01/07/2013 20:54

Mainly feelings of failure. GP said stay off work. Have been back and now feeling worse. Really not in a good place have not been able to post for a while. Finding it hard to express exactly how I feel. I was quite confident and enjoying my work. Now I'm not at all and this has branched out to other areas - home, hobbies. I'm really struggling :(

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