Really worried but don't want to offend others again

[Doorly]

I posted a message the other day (under a different name - I am paranoid) and one of the replies very nicely told me that my post was unacceptable because of the suicidal thoughts/methods I had mentioned may be distressing for other people. MNHQ deleted that post for me.
So, I will try not to upset/offend others but I am desperately worried about my mental health atm.
I have just changed meds and have never ever, after suffering from depression for many years felt this desperate.
My GP has given me some diazapam to try and get over the next few days but 6 days later I still feel hopeless.
I currently cannot leave the house this relates to suicidal thoughts so wont go into detail. Being at home is somewhat safer although not completely.
I am really worried about how I can keep myself safe atm, I have no immediate plans to do anything silly but there is a voice in my head telling me otherwise, if that doesn't sound to bizzare.
I know I am going to have to go back to the gp but hate hate hate this attention, the feelings of failiure, the worries about what the future holds.
I cannot talk to my family, my dh and dc know to a superfical level how poo things are atm
Can I just talk on here please.

Well done for talking to your GP. This is a huge step. Keep taking little steps & you will get there. You're stronger than you think.

I read your post yesterday, I am so glad that you have been honest with your GP today.

You are lucid and coherent - that is good! You have insight that things are not going very well and that you need more support, that is really positive.

Mind has information about the crisis team here:
Crisis Service

IME they are generally pretty good, it is a more intensive level of support and they are very proactive at helping you to come through the crisis.

Do you think the voice is your brain trying to make sense of your thinking?

Doorly its great that you went to the gp today and were pen about how you're feeling. Really hope you managed to get some rest today and get some sleep tonight. Take care x

Thanks fluffy and colouring. The link to the crisis team was really useful and certainly dispelled a few myths I had. Perhaps it will be a good thing.
Feeling shitty still with a horrible feeling of anxiety and dread but certainly not as low as the levels I reached earlier in the week, which is positive. Just need to get through tonight and tomorrow and see what the gp says.

Hope you're ok Doorly. I hope you've had a better day