I've been doing brilliantly over the past couple of months, to the extent that I was going to ask to be discharged from CCTT to Recovery. Work has been stressful, but I've managed just fine and have even been enjoying work again, just like I used to before I got really ill.
The past weeks have been great. No symptoms, no dark thoughts, enough energy to play with the children and really enjoy their company and get back into enjoying work and enjoying my life.
I had a few wobbles last week, but took PRN and it all settled down. I struggled to go into work yesterday, but went and did OK. I had a lousy night's sleep last night. Couldn't get to sleep and when I did, had lots of mad dreams and kept waking up. This morning I had to really force myself to go into work.
So sat at my desk, not concentrating very well and started seeing stuff out of the corner of my eye. Movements and smoke and shit like that. I've taken some PRN and have come home, but I just hope to god that I'm not going to go downhill again as this is how my last relapse started.
I am frankly hacked off. I don't want to relapse. I don't want to hallucinate. I just want to effing be well and stay well. GRRRR.