Well after all the great advice you gave me I still failed. I still acted selfish and weak.

[MyBloominMarvellousYoni]

I've had enough. I feel like I'm trapped in my head with all these thoughts. I feel like I've failed everyone.

I tried to fight it, I tried to stop being so self centred but I couldn't.

I can't do it anymore, I just can't.

Waiting for the crisis team to call me.

I've cracked good and proper.

Couldn't read and run, but hold on in there. Whatever has happened, it can get better. Nothing stays the same. Virtual handholding

bloomin I understand how ur feeling I'm sat in hospital atm because I gave in today & SH. all

I'm waiting for my mum and I'm going to get her to call an ambulance.

It horrible, it's like it's not even me doing it. Its like I go into a trance and then when I'm out of it I realise what a stupid fucked up idea it is!

posted before finishing...

all I can say is just hang in there.... I'm listening to music to distract myself right now. not sure you want to do that but while your waiting for crisis team try to do something to distract yourself. if you smoke then have a cigarette that always helps me. or just talk on here... we can be your distraction.

I'm with you on feeling like a fecking idiot afterwards but when your in that moment it just can't be helped!

Sorry things are so bad, Yoni,
but glad you're getting some help tonight.

You're safe in hospital at present, sarn, really hope things improve for you, "darkest before dawn" and all that.
Best wishes to both.

was it you who posted sitting woth dh the other night and were going to call an ambulance then? If so what happened how did you get on? Sorry f not you! xx