Keep bursting into tears since yesterday, realised how disabled I am, very very low

[MrsjREwing]

I have long term health problems. I met a very good childhood friend I lost touch with yesterday and keep crying since. I was young full of hope and life, now I am a shaddow.

I want to be that person with hope and a future, I have neither, I exist so my children have a parent. I don't want my future or theirs. I don't want the guilt anymore that it is my fault they have this and to see them suffer. Our family rejected us mine and theirs one way or another. I know they are not worth a tear, I just would like for us to be loved.

We are listening, you sound heartbroken

I am.

there is a circle of love, between you and your DC's. it might only be those people in the circle, but its enough.

Please be strong
x

I try to be strong always. I told my friend about the nightmare that is my life past six years. She was open mouthed. I knew her from 12 to about 24, she knows me and the people.

These dodgy genes caused so much trouble, I hate my body. If I was normal my dc would be. I wouldn't have been disbelieved over so many things, harmed etc.

Do you want to say more?

I am upset I was misdiagnosed, I wasn't believed about my symptoms by EVERYONE before diagnosis, I am upset when I was physically ill with sleep apnoea and telling a psychologist my symptoms and main diagnosis she let me down too, I am upset with diagnosis for me and my dc, I am still not believed by some people and twice I had to prove I told the truth and no aplolgy. Even the dentist ignored my diagnosis and warning about anesthetics not working he didn't believe me and I was fine with dentists before now i can't go.

I need a checkup with the dentist and am too scared, i felt so much pain him doing all that work with no pain relief, crying putting up my hand and being pinned down unable to move.

I am a bit confused.
You are saying your GP either misidagnosed you or late diagnosed you.
Your family didnt believe you.
Your psychologist didnt believe you.
And your dentist doesnt believe you.

Have I got that right?

At the dentist, if you have a check up, you may not need a filling.
That would be all right wouldnt it?

Could you try a different dentist, and ask him if he has any different anestetics that should work?

I was misdiagnosed and late diagnosed.

My family don't believe me, my kids do they have it too.

The dentist didn't believe me or the Professor, he only believed tha anxiety bit not the bit about locals not working.

The psychologist let me down I was diagnosed with the genetic condition when seeing them, then after with sleep apnoea, I told the psychologist my symptoms, I feel let down by the psychologist as my symptoms needed respiratory medicine not a psychologist.

I don't have much faith on the medical profession or authority figures the past few years, I was physically ill and they made me iller, I needed oxygen and sleep. They made mistakes. I only trust the professor who diagnosed me and his team.

Ehlers Dahnlos?

I may be wrong but I think there may be several issues here.

I normally say in these circumstances to find the root cause.
But you may have several root causes.
And they may need to be talked about 1 at a time.

1. GP missed diagnosed and late diagnosed you. That is ad. Unfortunately that can happen sometimes. Do you now see a different GP. Did you complain about the first GP, though sometimes these things do happen, even with GPs that are very good at their job.

2.Your family dont believe you.And you say also rejected you. Doubly sad.

1. Not sure who the Professor is. Dentist, I wrote about that just now.

1. psychologist. Maybe he/she was given the wrong information.

1. Your conversations with your friend. Yes, that is sad. Has your friend got children too? Sometimes there can be quite a difference between the lives of a friend with children, and those without.

Which of these points do you want to talk about first. Which one is the most urgent?

OP I too was misdiagnosed before finally getting diagnosed with a genetic disorder, and the hardest part of that was that people didn't believe me either. 2 years on and it breaks my heart to think people could think I would be capable of doing such a thing- but now I know that this says more about them than it does me. The same goes for you OP I'm sorry that people have not supported you the way you deserve and I'm sorry how much this is affecting you- please be strong OP x

Yes Bilbobaggins, do you know me?

The friend has very young children.

She described me at various points of the cinversation as "you were always sensible" "you were a hard worker, when I was studying".

When I knew her I cared about myself, I had a life of hope then.

Not as far as I know! Have a friend with it and the thing about dental anaesthetic not working struck me. Her dental notes warn that she bites!

I know it is unpleasant but you cannot help it, and the physical symptoms are enough trouble, so I wish I could think of something that would help you feel happier.

If I was sensible why is my life awfull? I did the right things and it all went wrong.

I wasted what little health on friends and family who didn't deserve it.

I am also upset about being so thick now due to symptoms. I was once cleaver, I was once nice to look at, a nice person, fitish etc, now I am a thick useless slug.

Wishfull, sorry that happened to you.

I am not annoyed at any GP, I saw a few at my surgery and loads as a child it was no one person in particular.

I am sorry things have gone wrong.
Do you have time to yourself to do somethings you want to do?

No advice, but I am dealing with the same thing. Understand how you feel. x

With regards to the dentist he had a letter from the Professor who diagnosed me with comments about anesthetic, he ignored that and only took in the anxiety bit.

The psychologist did discuss my sleep in detail with me, she had no interest ever in discussing my new diagnosis when I was seeing her, it was ignored, as was my concerns about my sight as if it wasn't real. It made me feel I was inventing it, I wasn't

SirBob.

I have time, not much else. Waiting for God.