Anxious about starting Amitriptyline

[PackItInNow]

Saw GP this morning about my low mood that I've had for over 3 months now. I asked him if there was any natural/herbal stuff I could take to help it. He told me that I could take St John's Wort but would have to come off the pill, but other than that I would have to be prescribed an AD.

I buggered off to the chemist to have the script processed, but I'm feeling that I should have ripped the prescription up and binned it instead of getting it processed. I now have an 8wk course of 25mg of Amitrityline and TBH I am very anxious about taking any at all.

In fact, I am actually petrified of takeing them. How did other posters get round/over this feeling and take their AD's. Could someone advise me on this.

[SminkoPinko]

Perhaps you should go to the library/bookshop/amazon and get some "bilbliotherapy" then. See here for a couple of cbt based suggestions. Or you could try Mood Gym.

Has anyone expressed concern about your mental health? Dh? Other family members? Is it affecting your parenting (if you are a parent)?

[PackItInNow]

They haven't said anything as I've put on my usual front and been quite cheery, but it hasn't affected my marriage or parenting because I haven't let it, so that's a bonus I suppose.

[MorrisZapp]

How do you feel about taking your contraception pill?

Is the issue with doctors and medicine tied in with the deeper problem you keep private? And are the deeper problems private from your DH?

Is your DH loving and supportive?

[SminkoPinko]

I think (very tentatively) that the fact that you are able to successfully put on a front may point to this being an episode at the milder end of the spectrum- more severe depressive episodes are very hard to hide successfully for most (though not all) people. However, I get an impression from your posts here that your low mood may be quite strongly linked to your particular personality traits- you sound very reserved, inhibited and shy, none of which are bad things to be per se but can really stymie people who want/need to seek help from others. Does anyone know how you are feeling? Do you have any confidantes who know the "real" you?

[MorrisZapp]

Yes, really good points pinko.

[PackItInNow]

I really don't want to stop taking the pill as I am in a lot of pain with my back and taking the pill helps (endometriosis has been ruled out) for some reason.

My DH is very supportive in everything, but he has not long lost his beloved mum even though he hadn't got over the death of his dad, so I don't want to burden him more with my problems.

I don't have anyone I could confide in TBH as I can't bear to talk to anyone about how I'm feeling. Every time I try and talk to someone, something tells me not to say anything.

[PackItInNow]

I have taken my 1st dose of the Amitriptyline a few minutes ago, but it feels like I've betrayed myself and am feeling really guilty. The reason I took them early was because I felt like crap for about half the morning on the last lot, so I figured that if I took it early, the effects would wear off earlier, if that makes sense.

[PackItInNow]

Many thanks for the replies ladies (and gents, if there are any on the thread), your posts are much appreciated.