So I guess I should just walk away and leave them now so I don't become a burden

[OrmIrian]

According to so many people on MN depressives are selfish and ruin their families lives. And as with MN so in the real world.

If the ADs don't help and I persist in this selfish behaviour I should just fuck off out of it

Not everything is about you personally. Not all other threads.

Perhaps instead of contemplating fucking off you should do everything in your power to pull yourself out of your illness. People tend to have alot more sympathy for those who try to help themsleves than for those who wallow in self pity and self absorption.

How the hell do you know what I am doing molly? You know nothing about me. I am doing my best. What if it isn't good enough? What is I remain 'selfish'

No, the other thread wasn't about me. It was about people with depression who were all labelled selfish.

yes Orm its all in the head didn't you know, but seriously I've had enough and wish I 'could pull myself together' it isn't that easy for most people there's more to it than others outwith the family know about so just stick two finger up to the arseholes who don't understand xx [sorry]

Orm depression is a selfish illness in the sense that it asks everything of you just to keep breathing and somehow functioning and sometimes there is nothing left to give away. Not in a mean way. That's certainly my experience with dh, although I think women have a tendency to keep giving what they don't have.

Molly was a little bit tactless I think.

What is actually making your think you should fuck off?

OrmIrian - not all of us think that way. I am sure your family don't won't you to walk away. I know I wouldn't

Hey just wanted to say I saw the same thread and it upset me as well. But also that I grew up with a depressed mum who has been admitted for it and often had to care for her from age 11 due to absent family, but I dont hate her for it I love her very much for the strength and courage she showed and the fact that she kept fighting for me I blame the other people who could have helped but didnt and now as a adult she often helps me with understanding when I have a episode (I have bipolar) and the compassion she gives (the sort that only someone who has been there can)makes me love her all the more. Please ignore the other thread.

where is this thread?

I think its the one in AIBU, not very nice reading

Yes where is it? I would like to see it.

OrmIrian there are a lot of people out there who know very little about mental illness. Don't let others get you down < hugs >

Thankyou.

I guess I shouldn't have posted this but I was so upset. I have spent my entire adult life putting everyone else first. DC, dh, parents, friends, work. Now simply doing the auto-pilot things like opening my eyes, getting up out of bed, opening the fridge and being able to remember what the f* I'm supposed to be doing, are so hard. I think I am doing well to keep on doing them, working, speaking to people, interacting with my family. In fact it's a miracle. I want someone to tell me I'm doing OK, not that I'm self-indulgent and selfish.

Abput 3 weeks ago I stood on a motorway bridge and wondered if it might be the best thing to just let go. Because I was just hurting my family being the way I was. I didn't because that would have been selfish. I went back on the ADs that i had come off last spring because the side-effects were horrible. That is a personal failure because I swore I wouldn't take them again.

BTW I'm not sure 'tactless' was the word I'd have used

It wasn't just that thread btw. I sympathised with the OP totally. It was some of the harsh and judgemental reactions that got to me.

Orm, I am a depressive. I am someone who lives with depession, on and off. At the moment, I'm not depressed, and I can say hand on heart that depression is a selfish illness. It makes you inward gazing, it saps all your energy and time, it stops you being able to give to others. In a bid to pull myself out of the hole, I have been known to drag others in. It is, by its very nature, a total fucker. Your brain turns on you. I mean, wtf?! Your. Own. Brain. That is so fucked up. I said that depression was a selfish illness on a thread a few weeks ago, and upset another MNer. I explained myself and she was gracious enough to see that I meant no offence. But I haven't seen this thread.

Yes it is a selfish illness if we have to use that word. But that doesn't make the sufferer a selfish person in the sense that it's a character flaw. When I am well again, I will be the same person I always was.

Absolutely, Orm. It doesn't change the person you are, it's just really good at smothering you. Bastard depression.

Orm I had no idea. I would say hope you're ok but you're obviously not. So ill just shut up :o

It is actually not helpful for depression to be described as a selfish illness, even if others don't mean it or understand depression.

As a sufferer myself (although I'm now starting to feel quite a bit brighter), the illness itself makes you feel worthless and a waste of space. You feel guilty taking up anyone's time or energy, so to be told you then have a selfish illness only exacerbates feelings of guilt and the idea that you 'must pull yourself together and stop being a burden'.

I have had depression on and off for over 20 years but never admitted it was tiPped over the edge by doing someting at the end of last year and nearly had a breakdown I told my dr last month I felt like I'd been heading for one and she said yes you where most people don't realise because I barely go out the door unless I A have to or B have a 'chaperone' as it makes it easier to deal with situations. I do have massive issues to deal with before I'm 'better' but I'll get there we all will ' Don't let the bastards grind you down'

I'm a depression sufferer, orange. And I do think that depression is a selfish illness. It wants all of you, and everyone around you. It's a bastard. I'm not saying the person suffering is selfish, just that they are suffering from a selfish illness. My black dog is a selfish, jealous, vicious shitbag who wants to keep me at the bottom of a well and suck those around me down there too. That's how I experience it. But as I have no wish to hurt anyone or make anyone else feel bad, I shall withdraw from this thread. I wish you all well, and hope that you can all see a brighter day x

I do get your point Chickens, no hard feelings:) Depression has a habit of making us all very sensitive. Night night, am off to bed now and def hope tomorrow is a good day.

All illnesses are selfish, wether you can see the effects or not. No one can help being ill and just because you can't physically see anything with mental health issues does not mean you are not ill! If you can't get out of bed because you have flu is no different to not being able to get out of bed because you really can't face the world that day.

That is true spiderman.

People c an be brave and stoic during illness when they emotional reserves to draw on. When your brain is what is causing the problem there are no emotional reserves - just a big black hole.

stealth - thankyou. I am glad you had no idea, that's what most depressives aim for when they can. That no-one else knows because that means they are keeping things going. But I am feeling a bit better today.

Does it? Or does it mean you're hiding it well? Not from me, being merely words on.a screen but from those around you, who care

Sometimes it's the same thing. The only thing to be done. I feel if I can disguise my depression so it doesn't impact on other people, half the illness if beaten.