Have you had a 'Scrooge' like transformation? if so what, inspired it?

[didldidi]

I really need to change my habits in lots of ways - gain more motivation to lose weight, be more on top of the housework. I could also be less selfish and a better friend. If anyone has achieved this and stuck to it -what caused the change?

I don't know about transformation but am firm believer in breaking things down to small chunks and tackling one at a time. Also being very specific and framing it in a more active and positive way, so rather than 'be a better friend' decide what that means and do it - does it mean to take someone shopping once a week, to keep in touch by telephone a couple of times a week, to cook lunch for them once a fortnight? Once that becomes routine, add another change. So 'gain more motivation to lose weight' might be a simple dietary change such as 'eat fruit between meals' or something that gets you moving like attending an exercise class or cycling to work or walking to a friend's house to do some sort of 'being a better friend' activity!

I find that setting small targets works best. So, rather than saying I'm going to go for a 20 minute walk every day I say I'll do it for a week; then at thenend of that week I'll do it for another week. I also write down what I've done in my diary as it helps with the motivation.

I have been using the module on "Unhelpful behaviours" in www.livinglifetothefull.com

Aspects of my behaviour which I want to change are different to you. I am trying to stop myself from self harming and learning not to ruminate on bad memories. It is hard and sometimes I have good days and sometimes bad days.

I am having to accept that this unhelpful behaviour is of no use to me, but at the same I need to learn to be kind to myself. Sometimes my thinking is a bit black and white when in fact life is shades of grey.

I think you have to be more specific. Saying moviation to lose weight is too general. Prehaps you need to look at ways of over coming inactivity or over eating.

"be more on top of the housework."

"I could also be less selfish and a better friend."

Prehaps you need to be gentle on yourself and look at your expectations. Celebrate what you are are good at.

You also need to give yourself permission not be perfect.

Thanks everyone - perhaps I just need to work on the self esteem!