Lost all motivation!

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Until earlier this year I was running most days, going to loads of gym classes and working out a lot. I had lost a lot of weight and got really fit.

My partner had been doing the same but when a long hot summer hit, we just went on a big summer fitness free hiatus. We went out all the time, eating and drinking and having fun.

Both of us are fed up we have gained about a stone and haven’t been keeping up with anything and we keep making plans to hit the gym and eat well but there is always something in the way that comes up!

We both want to do this together but it’s so hard to keep the momentum and find motivation. I didn’t need him to keep me motivated before but I can’t find it on my own either!

This week we went to the gym once, then he couldn’t go the 2nd time, and I was meant to go alone then was too tired.

We keep saying we will cook healthy dinners then it gets so late or rushed we just eat any old thing.

Don’t know how to get out of this rut. We talk about this every day but nothing changes! Can anyone give any tips on how to actually put this into action how did you do it?

watching for motivation too

less motivation and more rules

so even though I might be tired I still went. Go. Even if all you do is your warm up.

plan quick and easy and healthy dinners, tuna , frozen veg and pasta with a dollop of sour cream takes 15 mins, frozen fish, veg and couscous takes 10mins

or make a pot at the weekend of say broth to eat

or stack your freezer with microwave portions of something

Make a bingo card of recipes and activities that you'd ideally like to do. Get some low-hanging fruit in there for some motivating easy wins to build momentum.

I do it for running if I'm between training blocks and feeling a bit bleurgh and add in runs of various lengths/ time, routes and things to spot and date when I did them.

I wonder how old you are OP and how long you've been going to the gym?

For years I was mad keen on the gym and went multiple times a week. Loved it. And then I didn't. I think for some people it just has a sell by date.Try as I might I just could not get my head back into the space. In the end I gave it up and decided to try to replace it with something else I couldn't wait to get out of bed and throw myself into.

After a few false starts I hit on sea swimming and hill walking. Absolutely got the bug for both and wanted to be healthier for them and so ate better and drank less.

My other tip is to make a menu for the week and buy everything in at once. Plan quick, easy meals, Always double up so you have a quick, healthy, home made ready meal in the fridge/freezer.

Agree on one night to party a week. And stick to it. You look forward to it, let off steam but know it's only one night a week. The less you drink the more the hangover pisses you off - especially if you want to go climb a hill and swim in the sea the following day.

I heard on a neuroscience podcast that there is part of the brain that increases in size when you do something you don't want to do. It's called the anterior midcingulate cortex.

I swim regularly and it can be off putting. There is a lot of faff associated with swimming and I often don't want to do it but what helps me is:

• thinking about the neuro science
• focusing on the positive feeling I get afterwards
• tell myself I can stop after a few lengths. This is important because it acknowledges my feelings and gives me a way out of I am really struggling. 99% of the time I don't quit but occasionally I do.

It's hard.