If you consistently exercise, where does your “discipline” come from?

[LoudSnoringDog]

I am on yet another holiday where I hate the photos as look fat, frumpy and unhealthy. I have in my mind that I am determined to use my gym membership when I return. I recall someone on here once writing “you can have all the motivation to exercise but it’s worth nothing if you have no discipline “
so…. I’m motivated but lack the discipline.
If you find that you can consistently get up off your backside to exercise, what’s your key message to yourself to keep your discipline? I’m trying to use these messages to keep me in check!

I exercise every single day and this is what works for me:

1. Do it early, first thing so no opportunity to procrastinate or get interrupted.

2. Make it easy and convenient - for me that is home equipment and laying out my clothes the night before.

3. When you really don’t feel like it - just set yourself a goal to do it for 5 minutes and if you are still not feeling it then that’s enough. I always end up doing it for longer - the hardest part was just getting started!

4. Remind yourself it takes 66 days on average to ingrain a new habit.

5. Read Atomic Habits- it’s brilliant.

Enjoyment, wanting to remain healthy, always feeling better for it, feeling and looking less well if I don't do it.

I do it mostly in the evenings. I remind myself I want to be fit and strong. I tell myself it doesn’t have to be your best, just doing it is enough. I never regret going.

Define consistent?

at a bare minimum I go to a Pilates class once a week, it’s a social thing too for me.

usually going to Pilates will mean I try and walk there and back in the interests of being healthy so that’s a guaranteed 30 minutes of walking exercise.

Then I think “oh ”, there’s a gym in my Pilates place so maybe I’ll go in there - and bang! I’ll end up doing a gym workout (strength, cardio) whilst I’m there.

Ramp up the Pilates to 2/3 times a week and then I’m regularly doing that and walking and working out.

my point being it just needs to start with you doing one thing you enjoy and the rest follows.

personally I hate running and treadmills so I avoid that. But I love cycling & rowing so that’s a treat to me when I go to the gym so I’m more inclined to go (and lift weights afterwards).

Changingweight makes a good point. I went to Pilates weekly first- not too strenuous and I drive there. I added a weekly run. Then a weekly weights class. Etc. I let changes settle so one becomes habit before adding new ones.

For me it's not about discipline or forcing myself
It's about enjoyment
You need to find exercise you absolutely love and can't wait to do
For me that's swimming and I swim every single day
I also absolutely love the gym ,it's like a park for adults,I love going on the various machines listening to music and swishing around ..
My weight never stopped me exercising..yours clothing and simply be do swimming costumes and gym gear up to and beyond size 32.
It's literally find what you love .

Build it into your routine- so it’s just a part of your week and you don’t question it. So, for example whenever you take DC to after school activity you go for a brisk walk/jog. Have your trainers on ready or keep them in the car so you’re ready to go at all times. Make it non-negotiable rain or shine.

Or, once a week before work get up and do something early- clothes laid out night before, alarm set, don’t pick up your phone in bed. Get up and do it before you talk yourself out of it.

focus on telling yourself you want to be healthy. You want to be able to stay fit into middle age and beyond. You want to nourish yourself not eat crap. You want strong bones. The body you want will follow.

Running because my mate goes and she really needs it. Pilates because they charge me if I miss and I'm cheap.

And my favourite tip, even if you've decided to flake, you aren't going, you can't face it, put the clothes on. Once you're dressed, 9/10 you'll think "fuck it" and go.

People write all sort of things on MN, doesn't mean they are true for you.
I exercise because I love it. I love how I feel when I do, and I love how I look.

If you need to force yourself, it is a bit sad. Find the one thing that fills you with positive emotions. I believe self love goes a lot further than discipline.

And don't wait to be back. Start today, at the breakfast buffet, leave the greasy stuff or fatty pastries, and go for fruit and oats. And go for a walk.
You hate what you see, tell yourself " enough", and gym will accompany your journey but it won't be the driver, that will be the kitchen and supermarket trolley.

The most important muscle movement for weight loss is when you flex your arm to bring something into your mouth .

I don't have gym membership but I run. I go because I know I will feel great afterwards

After a day stuck in an office, it's a joy to go out and run in the quiet. I live rurally and running through the woods, listening to birdsong, breathing cool fresh air and being surrounded by green, calms me and helps me relax.

Then a shower leaves me feeling clean and refreshed. An hour later, I feel great, no aches or pains, lots of energy.

The only time I don't go is in freezing rain. I take a rest day.

And if there are days I really don't feel up to it, I put my running kit on and go for a walk. I end up running anyway, once I'm out.

Discipline is in fact a very poor and limited motivator. We humans get tired of wagging a finger at ourselves. Find something you enjoy, preferably something that's a bit social, fit it into your routine, make it a habit and then it's only a smidgen of discipline that's required. Habit takes over and does the rest.

It’s far easier if you do something because you enjoy it…maybe there’s an activity out there you haven’t tried yet but would love. I never thought I would be someone that exercises daily but I’m now fitter than I’ve been for decades. I do 1-2hrs of yoga every day yes because I’m now disciplined but it started because it makes me happy as well as keeps me fit. I sea-kayak as much as possible also because it makes me happy as well as fit. Discipline grows but it doesn’t need to be the precursor.

Do what works for you. Maybe that’s not the gym? I have a few friends who go to the gym regularly. I prefer to do regular morning exercise at home, I also swim once a week after work and go to Ballet classes on a Saturday morning. Find something that works for you with your life and what you enjoy

I need it for my mental health, the physical aspect of it is a bonus.

You can watch news/favourite show while on treadmill and podcasts while doing strength. That way it's very enjoyable.

I completely agree discipline is needed to exercise regularly. If you struggle with that (much harder when you’re not in the routine or feeling the benefits yet) then join a class get a PT or exercise with a friend. Have a reason you can’t talk yourself out of it!

I love exercise it gives me endorphins afterwards and improves my sleep and makes me healthy but my brain still tries to talk me out of it almost every early cold dark winter morning. Why not stay in bed just this once… I do think it’s discipline not motivation that means I get up

I’ve been thinking about this a lot as someone who has traditionally been very unmotivated/disciplined with anything but has had some success over the last 5 months with exercise and getting fitter!
Things that I think helped:

1. Initially I had an external goal/target that I was working towards - this wasn’t aesthetic or weight loss, but I’d signed up to walk the Yorkshire Three Peaks challenge and knew I needed to be fitter to achieve this.
2. Something you enjoy! In my case, that’s transpired to be weights at the gym and a bit of running.
3. Being successful! Getting better at things and lifting slightly heavier or running slightly further/faster is very motivating.
4. Habit. It’s now just - what I do - it doesn’t matter so much if I don’t feel like it - it’s just become ingrained.

For me it’s trying lots of things and finding what you love. I’m not a yoga, Pilates person but I have tried them, I don’t like boot camps, cardio, running or swimming. CrossFit wasn’t my thing so I realised I don’t like bigger groups.

So I tried weightlifting/ strength training via a PT and absolutely loved it and trained competitively for 8 years. I’m itching to get back to it as well but a few health issues mean I have to wait.

But once you find the thing you love the motivation just happens. I still pick up yoga classes for variety and stretching and tried reforma recently so variety and trying and find your passion.

I do stay in bed on cold winter mornings and exercise later on in the day. It's supposed to be enjoyable, not masochism, and going at it too hard and stressing your body can be counterproductive.

I actually disagree, I think you have to find something you enjoy. I hate anything like an exercise class or cross trainer but I love swimming. I used to swim at county level when I was a kid,I didn't really have the potential to go further but I've always enjoyed it. I go 3x week, first thing in the morning so I don't change my mind. Sometimes I don't want to get in the pool but once you're changed and all you can't really go back home! And then afterwards I feel great. The other exercise I do is strength stuff/PT because I'm hypermobile. I don't like this, but it really does improve my back pain a lot, so that's the motivation.

I exercise every day. It's my routine and also my social life. I have a couple of clubs in the mix plus a weekly social run where I run with a few friends I don't otherwise see. So I don't have to discipline myself as it's my life and it's what I do. Just like going to work, I don't question it.

Would this approach work for you? Commit to a weekly class or even just going to your gym at the same time each week with a friend? If you don't have any "exercise friends," maybe try out a few classes at your gym and try to make some? In times of my life when I've had Fridays off and no small children, I've done a morning exercise class and then coffee afterwards.

I've rarely been one of those people who self motivates to go for a run in the morning except when I have an event that I need to train for eg a marathon. That has also "created" discipline. I've had a weekly training plan that I've needed to stick to in order to meet my targets in that event (getting round, getting a particular time). The public nature of this (ie everyone knows I'm running a marathon on X date) means that I train without question as I'm "on show" if you see what I mean. Publicly declaring goals is a great motivator!

Start small ie once a week and build up from there.

You need discipline until it's a habit then it's just something you do. I also try not focus on whether my body is changing or not as I think that could be demoralising as visually nothing may look different but you will be doing great things for your health.

I also try and remember what it's like starting from scratch and the thought of going back to the beginning gets me out the door.

The OP didn’t say one word about wanting to lose weight. That you immediately think wanting to go to the gym is a weight loss thing is a shame.

I agree with a lot of what’s been written. Do something you enjoy, do something where you’ll be missed if you don’t go - so with a partner or group, go early so you it’s done and over with before you really have time to think about it. Once you build the habit it’s easier

Discipline can easily make exercise into a punishment, which just adds to whatever complex psychological mess got you to the place where you describe yourself the way you do.

You need to find a way of moving your body that you love and makes you joyful. I didn't manage to exercise consistently until my 40s when I eventually found things that brought me genuine joy. Now I exercise properly 3-4 times a week and like to stretch and move lots during my days.

@IwasatClaines has said everything I was going to say! I don't have a gym membership, because at this time in my life, I just wouldn't go. I get up and then workout in my bedroom (weights or a YouTube video). Then I shower and get ready for the day, knowing I've done it. I also do long walks. I hate running and swimming, so I don't do them)

My main motivator now is bone health and preventing a recurrence of cancer (although I've always worked out and stayed slim and it didn't prevent the cancer in the first place).

Also: in response to all the ‘find something you love’ comments. I don’t disagree - finding something you enjoy is far more likely to lead to successfully building a habit/routine than something you hate.
And so yes - I do broadly like my gym routine/my running. But I don’t necessarily ‘enjoy’ it as much as I would enjoy reading a new book or baking a cake or watching some Netflix.

I think for far too long I put exercise off because I didn’t ’enjoy’ it enough - so don’t let that be your only motivator.